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Question for Ron....

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Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


25 posted 11-22-2003 07:18 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Sounds to me Ron lives in sweats
Now I bet that is a fact,
If consuming goodies and ice cream,
They certainly expand and retract.

We all wear fuzzies all day long,
I’m glad he keeps his covered!
Maybe that’s why he watches his tv
In his clothing cupboard?

Most men are messy, as you know
Dropping laundry all over the place
At least he puts his into piles,
Leaves him more computer space.

“Soon” seems like forever,
For Ron to get things done,
But I will say this for him indeed,
His sense of humor’s a lot of fun!

There’s a bare butt in Michigan
Now there’s a name for a poem,
I think I will have to research that,
“Knock, knock…anybody home?”
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


26 posted 11-22-2003 09:07 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Methinks the Wizard needs a maid
To handle some of these tasks
It’s said I am most capable
I’m ready if he asks

No river washing for this maid
I’ll buy a Maytag machine
And use my favorite brand of Tide
And get those fuzzies clean
Poet deVine
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Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


27 posted 11-23-2003 07:18 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine



Oh my goodness oh my dear
how long is this laundry soaking?
Ron! Come back! come play with us
I'm sorry for all the poking.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


28 posted 11-24-2003 01:48 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Last summer I was playing golf
Somewhere in Michigan
And saw the strangest sight, my friends,
Yet seen by any man.

I saw a fellow hit a ball
That bounced off seven trees
Then hit old Bessie in the head
And brought her to her knees.

The ball then hit the turnpike,
Smacked a Chevy passing by
Which knocked it right back on the course..
I thought that I would die!!

The ball then skipped across a lake
And hit that darned flagpole
So hard the ball just dropped straight down
And finished in the hole!!!

"My God!", I screamed. "Did you see that!?"
I screamed, incredulously.
"Oh, sure", my caddy answered me,
"It happens frequently."

"The man's a legend in this town,
The best you'll ever see.
He runs a little poetry site
The folks call P.I.P."

"Don't try to play golf like he does.
They don't teach that in college.
'Round here his talent's got a name..
We call it Carnell knowledge."

Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


29 posted 11-24-2003 03:29 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine



Mike, you have outdone yourself! That's amazing!!!! LOL
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


30 posted 11-24-2003 11:14 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


31 posted 11-24-2003 12:34 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Oh my goodness!  Now that was one tall golf story told only by the best!  You surely did - you outdid yourself this time, you clever man you!  BRAVO!

[This message has been edited by Mysteria (11-24-2003 12:34 PM).]

Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9708
Michigan, US


32 posted 11-24-2003 02:20 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

That game of golf that Mike reports
was just a little experiment,
a marriage of slide rule and sports
... with maybe just a few rules bent?

A nine iron with a keyboard
was about all it really took,
but attaching a mouse and its cord
simply did wonders for my hook.

I programmed all those holes-in-one
with some rhyme and iambic code,
a few if-then's, a looping sum,
and math that almost overflowed.

But it really wasn't all that great
in spite of that which 'Deer composed.
I had to reboot the whole back eight,
lost strokes I blame on dang Windows.

The nineteenth hole was worst of all,
I never should have been so rash.
I spilled my Scotch on club and ball,
and caused my first hard driver crash.

Golf, so I fear, is not my game;
I figure I'm just too nerdy.
So cruel and mean, golf soon would seem,
when Mike told me he shot a birdie.

I still need to find my own sport,
a more suitable way to relax.
Chasing your balls just isn't the sort
of thing we should do in white slacks.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


33 posted 11-24-2003 02:31 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine




So it took a game of golf in rhyme
to play your round in iambic time.
Seems to me you've parred the course,
or is that a suit of clothes on another horse?

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


34 posted 11-24-2003 07:40 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

So Ron, if golfing is not your thing
In those slacks of pearly white,
Let’s invent a use for them -
I’m thinking with all my might.

Ah I can see it now, clear as a bell,
Ron the waiter at your service.
Oh my goodness you poor guy,
You surely do look nervous.

Sweat is forming on your brow,
And what a peculiar stance?
What the heck are you doing?
Is that the “chicken dance?”

Laughter’s filling up the room,
Tears are running down my cheeks
I haven’t had a laugh like this,
In I don’t know how many weeks.

He’s yelling, “Help! It’s the darn white pants!”
Could he possibly get any louder?
I'm laughing so hard I can hardly stand,
I filled the pockets with itching powder!”




[This message has been edited by Mysteria (11-24-2003 09:45 PM).]

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


35 posted 11-25-2003 12:55 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine


We need to find a sport for you
Something to do in white slacks
Because, my dear, you really do
Need to take some time and relax

Bowling? Well, that’s one thing
If you like life in an alley
But if the ball slips away
After a gutter ball you will rally!

Maybe your game should be
Played with a cue and balls
There is a green and little holes
Right there in those pool halls

Of course in Michigan there is
A winter sport with much passion
But unfortunately you’ll find
White slacks are not in fashion

Warm leather gloves on your hands
A stocking cap and mukluks
A woolen coat in shades of plaid
Waterproof undies like the ducks

And there you sit all day long
In a hut on a frozen lake
Ice fishing can be a good sport
If cold weather you can take

So maybe we need to think on this
Come and sit here by the fire
We’ll discuss the state of your pants
And the sport that you desire.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


36 posted 11-25-2003 04:32 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

ROFL... I needed this... *G*
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


37 posted 11-30-2003 08:38 PM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

Thank You ALL for the wonderful laugh!!!!
I also needed that!!!!
Paitently waiting to hear the rest.....
Bridgette

[This message has been edited by Justbleu (11-30-2003 08:39 PM).]

 
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