Bear with me and decide how much is tongue and how much cheek.
What we need is one world language (surely a statement that will irk true poets).
First a bible story;
"The biblical tale of Babel describes how, in the early days of the world, all mankind spoke one language. Journeying from the east, they came to the great plains of Babylonia," (ironically today Iraq) "and settled. They wished to build a tower so high that its top could reach heaven; however God was angry with their arrogance, and as punishment for this excessive human pride, similar to that shown in Eden," (a real place Edin in Iraq) "God divided the people by giving them different languages and scattering them over the face of the earth."
Genesis 11;1--11;9 (King James Version)
Those who have wanted to translate works from other languages may be aware of AltaVista's website "babel fish". It is a noble effort but sometimes (well often) falls short. But it prompted this experiment. I took the famous first verse from Katharine Lee Bates (hey wasn't she in "Misery"? or was that Regis' partner?)song
America The Beautiful
O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!
I allowed babel fish to translate it from English to French, from French to English, to German and back to English. My reasons should be obvious for anyone current on world events (particularly world misunderstandings) This is how that translation read ;
"O beautifully for roomy the skies, vaguely
ambers the grain,
The majesties crimsons the mountain
over the fruit camps level!
America! America! Hangar of the God its
beauty on good thy of thee and of crown
with the brother shank of the sea
toward to the bright sea!
Now until we can all agree (yea right) on a common language I recommend that instead of the Germans allowing the French to get them upset (that's a switch) They consult the Japanese (from the original axis of evil). The Japanese translation from this mess at this point is far more poetic and sufficiently bureaucratic that none should find offense. Again from babel fish;
Beautifully O it is wide for the sake of the sky
namely vaguely the crimsons of the royalty
which the ambers grain namely the
mountain in regard to camp of the fruit
America! America! the hangar thee of God
to the bright sea beauty of the thy where
the crown which has the shank of the
sibling of the sea is good!
Now who could get angry with that?
Whadya think? Maybe pig Latin?