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Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


0 posted 03-17-2003 07:21 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Another funny email that I received. Thought you might get a chuckle too!

Undeniable Rules of Life

1. If you're too open minded, your brains fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

6. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

7. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

8. A conscience is what hurts when all the other parts feel so good.

9. No Husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

10. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

11. The three main food groups are, a Hershey bar, and RC cola and a Moon Pie.

12. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of waist change places.

13. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

14. Junk is something you kept for years and threw away three weeks before needing it.

15. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

16. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

17. By the time you've figured out how to make ends meet, the ends move.

18. Thou shalt not weigh more than the refrigerator.

19. Someone who thinks logically makes a nice contrast to the real world.

20. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says "I wish you'd seen me sooner."
skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-07-2002
Posts 3337
Beneath the northern stars


1 posted 03-17-2003 10:20 PM       View Profile for skyshine   Email skyshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit skyshine's Home Page   View IP for skyshine

ROFL! I did enjoy! Thanks Denise. These were really funny.

Elizabeth

I've waited on a line of greens and blues, just to be the next to be with you..
~Mr. Big

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


2 posted 03-18-2003 08:43 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

ROFLMAO... I can only add a hearty AMEN! *G*
JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


3 posted 03-18-2003 02:19 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

Hilarity ensues and eases worried brow

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Eromyna
Member
since 11-29-2002
Posts 310
Pheonix, AZ, USA


4 posted 03-18-2003 08:48 PM       View Profile for Eromyna   Email Eromyna   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Eromyna

...which is why my father should stop whining and wash those dishes himself!

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

Amara
Member
since 02-23-2003
Posts 163
East of the moon, west of the


5 posted 03-23-2003 12:06 AM       View Profile for Amara   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Amara

My father does ALL the dishes. And cooks. Now as for ME, maybe I should get in that kitchen...

Every heart has hidden treasures...a secret wish, a silent dream, and a cherished love. [Unknown]

 
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