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Passions in Poetry

Is anybody else in longdistance relationships?

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garysgirl
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since 09-29-2002
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Florida, USA


0 posted 12-16-2002 12:17 AM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

I was just wondering if anybody else is in longdistance relationships? If so, how do you cope with it? I miss him so much sometimes I don't know what to do. We are with each other about one weekend out of the month. We also talk on the phone every day..........Bigggg telephone bills every month...........


~Ethel~
Local Parasite
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1 posted 12-16-2002 02:33 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

You have to be careful with that stuff.  Trust me.  

It can be a great thing, because the first thing you develop is an emotional attachment... but it can crumble if you take the silences too seriously.  A relationship weighted on conversation and talking online/on the phone does make sure that your love is sincere and non-physical, but it also lacks a lot of event that you would see in a close-distanced relationship... you cannot commonly respond to social problems in your specified area, and you don't socialize with the same groups of people... both of these things can be harmful in that they often leave you on little more than a "how-was-your-day" basis.

It can make your feelings seem like they're fading, when it's really just the lack of that next step in most relationships... you learn about one another and you learn to care for one another, but can't transist into functioning as a unit in the real world.  

I might sound like I have no faith in online relationships.  I do, in fact I think they're a better way to meet people than the conventional sort... I've just seen a few crumble because it got "boring" without anything to do but talk.

How do you "cope" then?  It helps to take a deep and genuine interest in their own social life... that can restore some of the void left by not living in the same vicinity.  You could also become involved in a similar online activity (PIPtalk is perfect for this kind of thing) and have that in common.  

Just generally be careful... and don't let yourself think you fall out of love when the conversation loses its mystery.  Most people don't talk the same amount in a month as a long-distance couple talk in a day (assuming they both use the internet), because they get less one-on-one time... so you might find that you've lost the sense of discovery.

Coping is simple.  Write emails wherever you are, jot them down, send them when you're done.  Now that we have the internet, long-distance relationships have a lot of potential.  

And don't despair about not being able to see/touch the person all that often (at least you're with him every few weekends, right?)... you are a poet, after all... you can see and touch with words.    

I very sincerely wish you and yours all the best.


[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (12-16-2002 02:34 AM).]

serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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2 posted 12-16-2002 02:50 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

a long distance relationship?

smile...

I'll just step off the "feet" survey style, down the hall...

Distance?

Is a state of mind.



and LP? all you said? very valid points.
But they still apply five feet away, as well as five hundred miles.

I tell ya. shaking head now.
Not sure which one of us moved?
But we are miles apart.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (12-16-2002 02:52 AM).]

Siofra
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State of Suspended Passion


3 posted 12-16-2002 10:12 AM       View Profile for Siofra   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Siofra

My answer for now is yes, and the phone bill?

Try a cell phone with a good plan as far as free minutes at certain times. Its far cheaper than a home phone long distance bill if you get the right plan and don't abuse it.

"My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words
Of that tongue’s uttering, yet I know the sound:" "Romeo and Juliet"

Mistletoe Angel
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4 posted 12-16-2002 12:14 PM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel



(big hugggssssss) Oh Ethel, I know exactly how you feel, and you know so much already about me and my Joanna! She lives in Florida and I live in Colorado and we long ever so much to finally meet for the first time.



We became friends in August of 2001 and talked so much every single day. She became a Passions member that summer and she sent me many pictures of her that she is beautiful in every single one and by last Thanksgiving, we fell in love. We talk on the phone and send cards to one another and I send her special gitts every once in a while too, yay!



Sometimes it can be so hard for me and I cry so much thinking about her and wanting to be with her so much and share my fist kiss with her, first hug, even the first holding of a girls hand. She said she feels the same way too but we both believe God has a plan for us both and we will find a way to each other. I always dream of her and share my dreams with her and she always says "Awwwwwwww!" and says he wishes she could kiss me right now! So we both know we will be together someday! After all, Shakira sings "Lucky we were born far away so we can both make fun of distance!"



I want to make her feel like the happiest girl in the world, and love her while always cherishing the friendship most of all and be faithful and always there for her because she is heaven to me! (big hugggsssssss) I know you and Gary are meant to be together, and when you finally get married, I want to try and be a guest at the wedding because you are a special friend I want to see happy! Yay!



Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Salty
Senior Member
since 11-23-2002
Posts 687
Texas


5 posted 12-16-2002 12:28 PM       View Profile for Salty   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Salty

My boyfriend and I met online. He lived in Rhode Island and I live in Texas...now that is a WAYS apart.  We also had a big phone bill every month but I think I actually talked to him more than I ever did my ex husband. I went there once and he came to Texas a few times over the last couple of years.  He has now moved to Texas just for me, and that has been great. Even though I was scared for him to move because I could not guarantee anything, he said it was something he was willing to risk. He knew he had to give us a chance, and it has all been worth it so far. He has stood beside me through a lot also Ethel as you said Gary has you.

I always tell him I met him from the inside out. I was not looking for him when he came in my life, but we became good friends. Nothing was physical for several months maybe a year even. It was a slow process but never felt like a process at all until I realized I had real feelings beyond friendship.  

I never thought in a million years that we would be this close...  Emotionally and physically. I think things have a way of working out if you want it bad enough.

Oh yeah one more thing...If you can get MCI where you live.  They offer a calling plan for unlimited amounts anywhere in Texas (or maybe anywhere in your state) for 49  something a month.  That is not adding in the taxes but still less than 60 dollars. I just got a call about it a couple of weeks ago. You might want to check that out.
CherryFalls
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since 12-09-2002
Posts 17
Delphos,Ohio


6 posted 12-16-2002 02:14 PM       View Profile for CherryFalls   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CherryFalls

Well I met this really cute, really sweet guy threw my cousin. Because He use to live in a place about 3 hours from here and he moved back here. Then one of his from from where he use to live came up here to visit him and we all went out well me and him (Josh) liked each other and now we are kind of together but not really because we live 3 hours from each other so it's really hard because I hardly ever see him so if we find someone else we'll be ok with that to but it's still hard because we like each other alot and i graduate next year.
And were gonna move in together

CherryFalls
X Angel
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since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


7 posted 12-16-2002 04:58 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

been there done that don't reccommend it!
(sorry to be the wet blanket)
love thrives on togetherness, so find a way of getting together asap or risk losing it all.
Miah
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since 08-26-2002
Posts 1092
Pennsylvania


8 posted 12-16-2002 05:07 PM       View Profile for Miah   Email Miah   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Miah

Ahhh yes, been there.  I was in a long distance relationship for awhile.  Then he moved here to be with me.  Lucky for me, his job was so kind to let him move his work out here.  

He lived in CA and me in PA.  So it was very hard to cope with at times.  Finally, we realized that if we wanted to make a life together, one of us had to move.  I knew I was not able to.  So here he is, and we are very happy.

I know it can be hard, but you have to stick with it the best you can.  Talk often, and try to visit.  Look forward to the day you can be together.  I hope all goes well with you.  Good luck!
garysgirl
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9 posted 12-19-2002 03:54 AM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

Hey, everybody.......
Thanks to all of you for your replies and for good comments.
Guess what, I'm going to see my Love for a three day week-end.......leaving Friday morning........  I'm so excited I don't know what to do.....
I'll miss ya'll (part of the time.......maybe or maybe  NOT??)

Anyway, I'll see you all tomorrow....  


~Ethel~     

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (12-19-2002 03:55 AM).]

Rainbowdust
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since 12-05-2002
Posts 324
Sydney, Australia


10 posted 12-19-2002 09:25 AM       View Profile for Rainbowdust   Email Rainbowdust   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rainbowdust

Hi Ethel! Hope you had a great weekend and that the time flies until you're in his arms once again!

I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment too; he lives in Sydney and I'm in Melbourne. It's not too bad because all mobile phone networks in Australia have free time in the evenings, and I'm planning to move up there in a couple of years. In the mean time, we only manage to see each other for about a week every two months, and the time in between can be torture. What it does do though, is mean you never take anything for granted. I don't agree with those who rule long distance relationships out completely, because as long as there's an end in sight I think it's bearable, and worth it.

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


11 posted 12-19-2002 12:05 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

First time failed. She was uber Christian and I was semi Christian, among other incompatibilities (she broke it off).

Second time's going great so far. I just signed up to see my phone bill online, so I can start making wise decisions via money.

Can't see my girl once a month. She lives in Calgary. I live in California.

That's why it's good to have a circle of friends and your own interests, too.

Mike
Jaime
Unregistered




12 posted 12-19-2002 06:04 PM       Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Jaime

Long distance relationships are tricky.

I've been with my boyfriend for two years and we're in a long distance relationship so.. it can work. The hardest part for me is that we haven't been able to enjoy the things that "normal" couples can do any time. Go to the movies, shop for groceries, walk together, see each other at the end of the work day, plan little weekend activities... just sitting in a room knowing he's in the next one. But I think the distance teaches you how to not take anything for granted. I know how lucky I am to be in his presence when I'm there with him.

You just can't let the distance get under your skin.

Good luck to you.

Jaime

Life is where you look for it.

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 04-14-2001
Posts 686
Selah, WA, USA


13 posted 12-19-2002 06:46 PM       View Profile for CwboyAtHeart   Email CwboyAtHeart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit CwboyAtHeart's Home Page   View IP for CwboyAtHeart

I can relate to this...  I have been in a few "online relationships" that never went anywhere.  But now I am with my friend who I have been friends with for about 5 years.  We've been together for a month (to the day, actually).  I asked her out two days before she left because I knew if I didn't, I may never get another chance.  We have been together for a month now with no problems.  I live in Washington State and she lives in Iowa, so there's about 1800 miles between us...  But we talk just about every day and things are going well.  You just have to not think about the distance and who "separate" you are and just think of being together, as you are in heart.  Good luck with all of your relationships!

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

[This message has been edited by CwboyAtHeart (12-19-2002 06:50 PM).]

garysgirl
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since 09-29-2002
Posts 20064
Florida, USA


14 posted 01-08-2003 05:08 AM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

I really thank all of your for your comments and stories of your own long-distance relationships.
I think whether they work or not depends upon the couple and how much they  REALLY  care for and love each other.
More than one person mentioned that this type relationships keeps you from taking each other "for granted". I totally agree with this. When my Love and I are together, we're so happy that we ARE  together that we cherish each moment.
We are proof that they can work, though. Like someone else said, we just keep in our mind's that we  WILL  be together one day, never to be apart again......that keeps us going.........
Thank you all....  


~Ethel~  
Salty
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since 11-23-2002
Posts 687
Texas


15 posted 01-08-2003 03:13 PM       View Profile for Salty   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Salty

Ethel just how far apart do you live anyway?  Have either of you decided which one is going to move ...or are you just playing it by ear right now?


kayjay
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since 06-24-2002
Posts 2334
Oregon


16 posted 01-09-2003 12:44 PM       View Profile for kayjay   Email kayjay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kayjay

I just thought I'd chime in with my story which is a bit different.  We met 43 years ago and dated, but lives took different paths.  She called me in '98, we decided to be a couple in '01(don't rush in..lol).  She is in Minnesota and I'm in Oregon.  The lonliness is rough but times together are great, as you say.  (I posted "For my love" here which kind of tells the tale.  KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

 
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