How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Discussion
 pipTalk Lounge
 I was just hit on by a teenage girl   [ Page: 1  2  3  ]
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Ron   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

I was just hit on by a teenage girl

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


0 posted 10-09-2002 10:51 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

A 16 year old lesbian hit on me. Sorry I have never had a girl hit on me. She said, "Maybe we should start going out." What would ya'll do in a situation like this? I like guys. Men are gods in my eyes. Some are pigs I have to admit. But it weirded me out when I got hit on by a girl.


Cold hands means a warm heart

[This message has been edited by the_loner_23 (10-09-2002 11:44 PM).]

Miah
Senior Member
since 08-26-2002
Posts 1092
Pennsylvania


1 posted 10-09-2002 10:57 PM       View Profile for Miah   Email Miah   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Miah

Well, first I would of asked where she wanted to go?  To the mall?  the zoo? It depends on what she really meant.

But, if she meant out on a date then I would have said thanks but I'm straight, but maybe we can be friends.  Something along that lines.  I had this happen before, I woulden't let it bother you.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


2 posted 10-09-2002 11:01 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

SOme of you women are also pigs...

you enjoy throwing out insults, loner?
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


3 posted 10-09-2002 11:09 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

I didn't mean to be insulting. I was just saying how I felt. I am sorry.

Cold hands means a warm heart

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


4 posted 10-09-2002 11:25 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

hmmm...women "hit" on me alot...so much so, that I once bet the hubby $100 that we could both go out together and I could "pick up" a woman before he did.

He didn't take me up on it.

I've no idea WHY you are so repulsed by that. It never bothered ME. *shrug* In fact, I was quite often flattered as most were quite attractive--perhaps if this happens again you might just try saying "I appreciate the fact that you appreciate me, but I happen to be prefer men."

Also...you might want to be a bit more careful about those exclamations of "ew..." Sometimes it takes YEARS for a person to come to terms with their sexuality, be it of a homosexual leaning or not. In the meantime, you could unknowingly be insulting friends that you LOVE.

And, just for the sake of conversation, loner? If a friend of yours did openly admit that they were homosexual--would you no longer be able to be their friend? If you answer that you could not in good conscience continue the friendship, I might suggest to YOU that you never WERE a friend.
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


5 posted 10-09-2002 11:28 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

I have a couple gay friends. But they never hit on me. But if they told me they liked me I would just have to explain to them that I am straight. I could never turn away from any of my friends. You made a good point Serenity.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


6 posted 10-09-2002 11:28 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine


How do you know it was a 'date' she wanted? Maybe she just thinks you're a cool person to hang out with?
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


7 posted 10-09-2002 11:32 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

Because the way she put it. Trust me. I know when I am being hit on. But I am gonna let it go.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9708
Michigan, US


8 posted 10-09-2002 11:36 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Would you have been "weirded out" if the person was of a different race? If they were quadriplegic or blind? Homophobia is just a slightly more insidious form of bigotry and expressing "how you felt" is just a slightly more subtle way of spreading it.

When you find yourself uncomfortable because people are different than you are, you should stop to ask yourself why. You may discover the fault lies not with them.
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


9 posted 10-09-2002 11:39 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

You made a good point Ron. It is just I am not used to getting hit on by girl. I didn't know how to deal with the situation.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


10 posted 10-09-2002 11:48 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

You just smile and treat her with the respect she deserves.
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


11 posted 10-09-2002 11:52 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

Poet deVine I will do just that. I know I freaked out. But this is a first for me. But I know how to deal with it next time now. Thanks!!!!

Cold hands means a warm heart

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 07-02-2000
Posts 4370
Fl


12 posted 10-09-2002 11:52 PM       View Profile for Jenn Cirrincione   Email Jenn Cirrincione   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jenn Cirrincione

I understand your side to this loner, sometimes things like that make people uncomfortable, you are entitled to your feelings. However, I also see others points. Ron's last sentiments are true; looking within can be the hardest thing.
Try to be empathetic...sexuality tends to be greyer than most realize.

Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving?

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


13 posted 10-09-2002 11:57 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

Totally understood Jenn. Also to any I have offended with this post I am sorry. I am not used to this. But now I know how to deal with it.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


14 posted 10-10-2002 06:47 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Another thing to consider, loner.  Anyone from anywhere can join PiP.  If that particular person were to join PiP, see this thread, see your picture...

suffice to say, had I said anything like this, I would be very uncomfortable.  Yes, there's truth, and we should speak our feelings, but there is also consideration, compassion, and knowing when to keep our thoughts to ourselves.
Opeth
Member Elite
since 12-13-2001
Posts 2224
The Ravines


15 posted 10-10-2002 07:57 AM       View Profile for Opeth   Email Opeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Opeth


If it "weirds" you to be hit on by a lesbian, so it does. You are who you are.  You are not acting improperly on your feeling of weirdness. You are not being discriminitive because you felt that way.

Do not now feel shame for the way you feel. You do not have to be politically correct.

Mind you, I am not condoning your feelings. I am merely stating that you have the right to feel "weirded" by what happened to you.

If at some point in time being hit on by a lesbian doesn't make you feel strange, so be it, if not, so be it. Good luck.   
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9708
Michigan, US


16 posted 10-10-2002 11:02 AM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Opeth, I disagree.

You are essentially arguing that people have a "right" to hate. Without guilt. To me, that's a bit like saying a person has a "right" to get cancer. I don't recognize a person's right to self-destructive behavior, though I do think most alternatives are usually worse, and I suspect using the word "rights" with an act of questionable volition is tantamount to an oxymoron.

But even were I to grant you a "right" to your feelings, the expression of those feelings falls under no such right. Whether you want to put a bullet in someone's head or let loose with a big long "ewwww," your hate has now infringed on the rights of others. I don't for a minute believe anyone has either a Constitutional nor a God-given right to hate, but I KNOW they don't have a right to hurt people who are themselves doing no one any harm.

Feelings are the harbingers of actions, and I personally believe that anyone wallowing in the muck of hate and bigotry SHOULD feel shame. Guilt is a powerful motivator of change. And make no mistake, hate can be changed. Hate is a choice, an all too easy choice, made when we reject the much more difficult task of understanding. People are more than simply the sum of their actions and when you make the effort to see beyond the actions, to the person and their history, hate will inevitably dissipate. You cannot hate what you truly understand.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


17 posted 10-10-2002 12:38 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Lord,
please don't bring back
a dead thread ...

And, Loner,
it can be strange;
but always remember,
we are all human,
and therefore
equally deserving
of the truth.

A lot of the times, I've found,
people who react strongly to another creed or kind?
They're the ones who need to take a look
and see what needs fixing
about *themselves*.

It's a good lesson to learn.
I'm glad you're getting to the level
of learning it.

(some never do)

And now I will exit this thread --
I have a promise to myself
never to enter these types of discussions
on PIP.

Much love.
Mikey
Anvrill
Senior Member
since 06-21-2002
Posts 718
in the interzone now


18 posted 10-10-2002 01:18 PM       View Profile for Anvrill   Email Anvrill   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Anvrill's Home Page   View IP for Anvrill

I've been hit on by a girl once, and checked out by a girl once. I think it's cool. You have enough appeal to be checked out/hit on by people of both sexes. You must have universal appeal!

Really, if someone wants to let you know they're interest, doesn't matter who/what they are, it's just nice to know that there are people interested.

Right now, guy or girl, I'd hafta turn anyone down, since I'm so in love it's not even funny, but I'd definitely thank them for asking.

remember the sound
that could wake the dead
but nobody woke up at all

rs

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 06-21-2002
Posts 718
in the interzone now


19 posted 10-10-2002 01:24 PM       View Profile for Anvrill   Email Anvrill   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Anvrill's Home Page   View IP for Anvrill

Oh, oh, oh!

I have to add this one thing.

I used to hate myself soooo much, saw no worth in myself whatsoever, so the first time a guy hit on me, I freaked out! I wondered what was wrong with him, actually. And it's not that the thought of dating men freaks me out, 'cause that's sorta what I've been doing since I started, but firsts are very scary things.

I was used to it by the time a girl hit on me, though.

remember the sound
that could wake the dead
but nobody woke up at all

rs

Opeth
Member Elite
since 12-13-2001
Posts 2224
The Ravines


20 posted 10-10-2002 02:06 PM       View Profile for Opeth   Email Opeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Opeth

Ron,

"You are essentially arguing that people have a "right" to hate."


~ You came to that conclusion by what I wrote in my reply? On what basis? I merely stated she had the right to feel "weird" about being approached by someone of the same sex, and in fact I didn't even condone that particular behavior, so how you ever crossed into your assumption, I have no idea, except for maybe out of contemptment for what I wrote.

"To me, that's a bit like saying a person has a "right" to get cancer."


~ Say what?

"I don't recognize a person's right to self-destructive behavior,"


~ Who is talking about self-destructive behavior, not I, not the originator of this thread, only you.


"Feelings are the harbingers of actions, and I personally believe that anyone wallowing in the muck of hate and bigotry SHOULD feel shame."


~ !!! She does not have to be shameful for feeling "weird" about being approached. It was natural for her to feel that way.

"Guilt is a powerful motivator of change. And make no mistake, hate can be changed. Hate is a choice, an all too easy choice,..."


~ What does hate have to do with feeling unconfortable about being approached in a sexual way? I have been approached by women and felt uncomfortable, it didn't mean that I hate any of them.

An example of true tolerance

A truly tolerant person is one who stands in the middle of the street and looks to her left and views the pro-choice screaming at those on her right, on which he turns and views the right-to-lifers screaming at those to her left.  She accepts them both, even if either side makes her feel uncomfortable, or if she doesn't agree, or if she cannot fully understand, it doesn't matter...

While they are blinded towards each other, she can truly see.
Irie
Senior Member
since 12-01-1999
Posts 1526
Washington State


21 posted 10-10-2002 02:32 PM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

I was simply going to offer my hugs in this thread then leave.
But after reading part of Opeths reply I had to add to it.
Opeth, I have a prime example of being sexually approached and being made to feel uncomfortable.

I bowl every Wednesday night on a league. Last night I wore my “doo-rag”,
(bandana type of thing) due to a bad hair day!     Hehe
Anyway, I walked into the lounge to order a drink and while I am standing there this guy walks up to me and says
“Hey Baby, why don’t you let me tie you up with that bandana later tonight?”
I said “aint gonna happen”
He replies snidely “What are you so pissed off about?”
I said “You!” and walked away.
It made me extremely uncomfortable and quite frankly pissed me off.
There was NOTHING flattering about that and it was rude.
Personally, I felt like throttling him into oblivion!
OK, I feel better now.

Anyway, back to my original intent to this thread....
HUGS to everyone!


~Sheri

"Don't wait for your ship to come in ...
Swim out to it"

[This message has been edited by Irie (10-10-2002 02:39 PM).]

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


22 posted 10-10-2002 02:42 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

(chuckling).... My poor old grandpa would have indeed been amused by this thread. His philosophy on life was one of tolerance and respect for others. He believed everyone had a right to believe and feel as they saw in their heart to do, but also believed there was an overiding resposibility of all humans to treat others with respect and kindness. To him, that meant not expressing in public your own discomforts or making other people, whether intended or not, feel like you were being disrespectful. He was a pretty simple old bird....

Personally... my brother was gay and growing up with him was at times uncomfortable. He and I argued and fought like most siblings do and at times we were both very hurtful/oblivious to the need to treat each other with respect. Our issues were however, always confined to our private conversations and not aired in a public forum so that others might misunderstand that we were just brothers..arguing as brothers do.

Now... I agree one has the right to be uncomfortable in new situations and that one has the right to say so. I do however think the conveyance of those feelings should be between the partied involved and not in a public forum, accompanied by strong showings of displeasure such as "Ick!" "Eewwwwww!". We should never be ashamed or afraid to let people know we are not in agreement with their viewpoints or lifestyle choices, but we should always be respectful of the fact it is THEIR choice, not YOURS. Demeaning someone, or being hurtful intentionally is just wrong. Demaning someone or being hurtful by careless words or actions repeatedly.... well that is just irresponsible and a sign of imaturity.

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (10-10-2002 02:51 PM).]

hush
Senior Member
since 05-27-2001
Posts 1693
Ohio, USA


23 posted 10-10-2002 03:31 PM       View Profile for hush   Email hush   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hush

Loner, did you actually say "Eew"? I noticed that your original post was edited. If so, yeah, that was a pretty mean thing to do- but we're all human, and I bet there isn't anyone reading this who can say they've never done something mean, intentionally or otherwise.

That aside, I don't see why everyone's in such a tizzy because she felt uncomfortable... I mean, I work at a bar, and a lot of significantly older men approach me, and sometimes I think it's funny... but other times it makes me uncomfortable. Why? Because I'm not accustomed to that. How is it any different here?

I'm uncomfortable on my first day of school- because it's something I'm not used to. I was a little uncomfortable at first in the inner-city neighborhood I moved to, because it has higher crime rates than my old neighborhood. I'm uncomfortable the first few days of a new job, because I'm not used to it yet... but none of this implies hatred toward the new situation.

I don't see how not being interested in dating another female makes someone homophobic, or how being uncomfortable in that situation does, either. LOL, I chose to go to school for nursing rather than verterinary technology- that doesn't make me an animal-phobe! I just decided which I would rather do- but even if it was a decision between nursing and say, business, which I have absolutely no interest in.... I don't see how saying 'no' to business school, or feeling uncomfortable at the prospect of it, makes me 'hateful.'

Anyway, I don't see this so much as a matter of being made uncomfortable simply because someone is different- I am not uncomfortable with the differing views on abortion, to use Opeth's example. But I would be hesitatant- uncomfortable, indeed- about accepting an invitation from either side to go demonstrate. It's just not my thing. And if being gay is just not someone's thing, I can't see accusing them of being hateful.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


24 posted 10-10-2002 03:46 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

well, yes, it was "Ewwwwww" and implied disgust--and actually, my reaction was not so much anger as it was confusion.

I still don't understand the "why" of many emotions, and maybe I never will. No, I KNOW I never will understand the "why" of the emotions of others.

My job is to understand MY OWN reasoning...
and I think I understand the discomfort of not knowing how to handle a situation. My only aim to was to point that out, and perhaps we can all walk away from one little thread of type with a bit more understanding of ourselves and each other.



That sounded very much like a "jerry springer-ism". grin...OKAY.
I ADMIT IT.
Sometimes I WATCH.
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Discussion >> pipTalk Lounge >> I was just hit on by a teenage girl   [ Page: 1  2  3  ] Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors