How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Discussion
 pipTalk Lounge
 I was just hit on by a teenage girl   [ Page: 1  2  3  ]
 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Ron   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

I was just hit on by a teenage girl

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


25 posted 10-10-2002 05:53 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Opeth - clarification if you wouldn't mind. Why was it 'natural' for loner to feel uncomfortable - natural because it was a female hitting on a female, or because loner hadn't experienced the situation before?

Just curious..

K
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9708
Michigan, US


26 posted 10-10-2002 06:27 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Yes, the original post had a very loud ewww and, as Karen said, implied disgust. But that really has little to do with my reply to Opeth. Contrary to his suggestion, I don't believe having a feeling is the only thing needed to justify the feeling, and I certainly don't believe expressing the feelings at the expense of others is a "right."

Some would say we can't control our feelings, depriving a phrase like "right to feel" of any real meaning, and I think many more would say we shouldn't even try. Emotion, I suspect they would argue, is our only defense against Cold Equations. I could argue against both of those contentions, I think, but I won't.

Even if you believe we can't control our feelings, even if you believe we shouldn't try, I can't imagine any writer in the world arguing that we shouldn't explore our feelings. If something makes us feel uncomfortable, we need to be able to ask ourselves why. Those who honestly explore their discomforts, I believe, will realize that what they feel is probably NOT caused by the actions of another. The action is rarely more than a trigger for something that is more deeply buried. Sometimes, what we find is a good thing, perhaps an unwillingness to hurt someone else by saying no. Sometimes, what we find isn't such a good thing. In neither case, however, should we blame someone else for merely triggering what we ourselves caused. And we certainly shouldn't use our discomfort as an excuse to denigrate those who are different.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


27 posted 10-10-2002 06:48 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

I am amazed that in this "day and age" that anyone can get so worked up over this topic of differences. I wonder if everyone went back far enough in their families or extended  families, if they wouldn't find the "differences" in their own.
Like Cpat..I have a nephew who is "gay". Out of all my neices and nephews and I have over  40...he is my favorite because he is the most sincere and thoughtful of them all. I am not saying  he is that way because he is different..just that he has had to go through so much before  becoming who he is today...and it makes him more tolerant of others. We are many times afraid of the unknown...and when we cross the line of differences we learn so much about one another.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


28 posted 10-10-2002 06:55 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

(laughing)

Ron....
is it just a thing with people named Ron that they find the need to step up on a soap box every now and them?

I agree we should always explore the why. I also agree we can and should control our feeling to a degree, it is that layer of control that has allowed  man to form society. Without it, we would find no rules of conduct by which we could relate to people as all people are different from the "us" we are.

You argue pretty good for a geek... ( laughing as one geek to another)

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


29 posted 10-10-2002 07:06 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

Yes this freaked me out. But I have gotten my advice for next time. But I am not going to argue. Yes I go have a "gay" friend. Yes online I have a couple. But this was unusual for me. I was stupid for even posting about this. But I acted hastily and I can't take back what I posted now. But I am sorry.

Cold hands means a warm heart

brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


30 posted 10-10-2002 07:09 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

I haven't read all the others comments, but first of all what exactly did the girl mean by  "Maybe we should start going out."
and secondly at 16 people are just coming to terms with their sexual identities.

It is hard enough but if that person is gay then it is even harder.  

From an early age we conditioned that hetreosexual relationships are normal. Being gay is still a taboo in the eyes of many people. Having gay friends yourself you would surely know this.

Handle the matter delicatly, find out what this young girl's intentions or feelings are, then apologise if there has been a misunderstanding but you are not interested.




El riesgo vive siempre!

[This message has been edited by brian madden (10-12-2002 07:39 PM).]

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 06-21-2002
Posts 718
in the interzone now


31 posted 10-10-2002 07:10 PM       View Profile for Anvrill   Email Anvrill   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Anvrill's Home Page   View IP for Anvrill

Just thought I'd step in again, to say that I've known more people who enjoy the same sex than people who don't. Recently been friends with two bi girls and three flamingly homosexual guys. It always impresses me when I know a boy who owns more shoes than I could ever imagine buying.

They weren't any different than anyone else I know, though. Of course, every single straight guy I knew who was like "look at me, I'm so straight, I've done it with every girl I know" whenever the the gay ones were around, and that's always got under my skin. Sure, it wasn't "ew," but it was a very vocal way of saying "your kind ain't wanted here."

Of course, the guys loved the fact that the girls were bi, especially since they were both beautiful blondes.

I've only ever been friends with one girl who had a problem with same-sex attractions. Of course, I found out she had a severe repulsion towards them right about the time when I was trying to figure out my own preferences. She is such a good friend, and so much like me, but I was always terrified she'd find out that I wasn't entirely sure that I was all for guys. That feeling of alienation just made me so sick, it was hard to be anywhere near her for a few months.

In time, she figured out that I was really uncomfortable with her homophobia, so she shut up about it. Wish the guys I know would do the same. Augh. Don't try to teach 16 and 17-year-old metal-heads anything about tact; it just won't work.

I've found, though, that with age people tend to get better about it. Out and about with Manda, my best girl friend, (ESPECIALLY now that we have the same haircut) everyone seems to assume that we're either sisters or lovers. People at work have told us we look so cute together, and it's actually quite funny to see Manda go bright red. But the angsty "ew"ness of it all just doesn't seem to be there for me outside of the high school setting.

Maybe I've just been fortunate and met the right people, I don't know. I'm still compelled to throttle people who are the exceptions to the rule and judge negatively, but that'd be against my own morals and it'd just toss s'more negativity around.

Let's present a cliche:

Why can't people just all get along?

Awright, I'm done now. Definitely not speaking as intelligently as everyone else here, but I find that speaking intelligently and seriously is more often what incites anger, so I've just quit that.

remember the sound
that could wake the dead
but nobody woke up at all

rs

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


32 posted 10-10-2002 07:35 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

oops!! shouldn't have tried to be funny...

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (10-11-2002 08:07 AM).]

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


33 posted 10-10-2002 07:45 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I think the point is being lost here..

the ORIGINAL post (I wish you hadn't edited it) made it quite clear that the prospect of being approached by a lesbian was disgusting.

The one thing I found offensive about this was that we have members who are homosexuals and if one of them came here and read that it could hurt their feelings.

If this post had been about a Chinese man hitting on her and she said the same thing, it would be viewed as prejudice. THAT is the point...be prejudiced or bigoted if you want, but Passions was built on the right of ALL members to feel at home here..not just those who have a traditional sexual preference or those who are white..or those who are black..or Indian..or Muslim..or Jewish...

My dismay with the original post was the tone of intolerance for others.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


34 posted 10-10-2002 07:46 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

edited due to extremely poor taste...

humble apologies to all.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (10-11-2002 02:32 PM).]

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 08-07-2001
Posts 5716


35 posted 10-10-2002 09:26 PM       View Profile for Duncan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Duncan

What Sharon said...exactly.

  
RSWells
Member Elite
since 06-17-2001
Posts 2607


36 posted 10-10-2002 10:42 PM       View Profile for RSWells   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSWells

Serenity, the plaid blue/green skirt with the knee socks and white blouse and don't forget the armfull of textbooks.
WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 07-23-2002
Posts 3310
somebody's dungeon


37 posted 10-10-2002 11:03 PM       View Profile for WhiteRose   Email WhiteRose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for WhiteRose

Well isn't this an odd little discussion. I have just a little teeny bit to add. Since I am bi-sexual maybe I can bring something to this, I hope. First let me say Julie has the right to feel the way she does. She didn't say she insulted the girl who made a pass at her in any way. (let me interject that this is something I never do to someone I know for a fact is straight, and it is usually just not done but hey, there are always exceptions). Some bi's or gays consider it a challenge to get a straight person into bed.

I think offense was taken at the "some men are pigs" remark more than anything else. This also is Julies right to say so. On the other side, like Balladeer said, some women are pigs too. It's certainly not gender exclusive. And really just isn't a nice thing to say about anyone. Probably more insulting for the pig.

This discussion is amusing and sad at the same time. Acceptance of the gay community, with a lot of other issues thrown in. The race issue is a whole other matter. This was not a black person hitting on a white person of the same sexual orientation. Then if Julie had felt weirded out, still her right, but best not discussed with anyone but perhaps a close friend, and even then that does not make her prejudiced. Just not predisposed to have a relationship outside her race. Again, her right.

sooooooooo..now that I've said absolutely nothing worth listening to, I say let's just give Julie the right afforded her by the constitution. The right of free speech, and not make her feel weird because she felt strange when a woman hit on her. Just my opinion.
WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 07-23-2002
Posts 3310
somebody's dungeon


38 posted 10-10-2002 11:11 PM       View Profile for WhiteRose   Email WhiteRose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for WhiteRose

Okay, just a little more, and I will probably hate myself in the morning for this. I feel my way of addressing the race issue may be viewed in the wrong light. I have been hit on by gays, and by men and women of all race and creed. I was flattered by all of it. hmmmm...does that make me odd? But not everyone is the same, nor as open minded. Perhaps this discussion was just doomed from the beginning because Julie didn't quite express herself in a way that we found to be acceptable. I am married to a man who has a real hard time communicating how he feels and is forever saying things in a way that make a lot of people mad, so I am used to trying to find in what was said, what was really meant. I think Julie meant only to convey her feelings as to how uncomfortable she felt by what happened. I think this whole discussion has made her feel a bit alienated and picked on. And I probably only added to that. I just think we should all be more understanding of the views of one who is younger and is maturing, by learning and listening, just like we all did.

Okay, I'll shut up now. I am already kicking myself, and it's getting quite painful.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


39 posted 10-10-2002 11:34 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I feel since the original post in this thread has been edited to make it less objectionable, it should be closed. No one coming into this discussion now can understand the reason we were upset.
Tim
Senior Member
since 06-08-99
Posts 1801


40 posted 10-10-2002 11:37 PM       View Profile for Tim   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tim

and some folks find it offensive to read statements (meant to humorous) of grown men fantasizing about sexual encounters with school girls.  Depends on your background and life experiences dealing with child sexual abuse and pedophiles I suspect. I in no way mean to be critical, but I personally found the humor to be inappropriate. I am fully aware no improper thought or bad motive was intended.  I very seriously doubt any of the statements made in this thread were made with evil motive or were ill-intentioned.  That does not make them right; it just means people sometimes say and think things they shouldn't and other people interpret them in the context of their own life experiences. Sometimes you have to consider the circumstances in which and by whom a statement is being made.

I would hope if I made a totally inappropriate statement, a moderator might see fit to email me and attempt to discern if I was purposefully out line, or if perhaps there was some explanation.

[This message has been edited by Tim (10-11-2002 12:29 AM).]

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


41 posted 10-11-2002 08:06 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

Hey Tim...

  My apologies. Obviously you found my humor in bad taste. It has been edited and the content deleted out of deference to that fact.


Ron
RSWells
Member Elite
since 06-17-2001
Posts 2607


42 posted 10-11-2002 08:25 AM       View Profile for RSWells   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSWells

Oink Oink!
Opeth
Member Elite
since 12-13-2001
Posts 2224
The Ravines


43 posted 10-11-2002 08:53 AM       View Profile for Opeth   Email Opeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Opeth

"Opeth - clarification if you wouldn't mind. Why was it 'natural' for loner to feel uncomfortable - natural because it was a female hitting on a female, or because loner hadn't experienced the situation before?

Just curious.."


~ Both. To her, it was unnatural for another female to "hit" on her. Also, it was unnatural because she never experienced it before.
Trevor
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 744
Canada


44 posted 10-11-2002 12:17 PM       View Profile for Trevor   Email Trevor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Trevor

Well I for one am gonna disagree with Ron,

It's good that she aired this in public...I mean how else would she get soooo many wise responses about people, sexual beliefs or tolerance(I came back to edit this (and reword a few things), so I could say that the above is not meant as sarcasm, I really do think there was a lot of good advice offered to her). I mean obviously she wasn't getting very good guidance behind closed doors or from friends or family...otherwise she wouldn't have said what she did. Ignorance breeds in silence. I'd rather hear Nazis spouting anti-semitism publically than to have them meet in secret places and plan hateful things...at least when someone publically vocalizes something we are allowed a chance to rebute it.

Seeing Julie change her opinions is the very example that should be used of why it is sometimes better to hear not only good and positive words but the angry and hurtful ones as well. If we never hear them, how can we change them. Issues need to be talked about and since I say "phooewy!" at anyone's claim to their close friends and family having all the answers, I say let some issues be talked about publically, now I'm not saying let the leader of the Third Reich take up a soap box here at PIP and ask the us to help build an Uber race, but I'm saying maybe you're being a little hard lined on this subject.

I think WhtRose made some good observations by touching on the subject that maybe Julie didn't mean it the way it was interpreted, (she should work on her communicating skills - and maybe we should all work on our listening skills too), and that some people find it difficult to match their thoughts with wording that we can all appreciate. I think Julie suffers from this, I think she has a hard time communicating what is really on her mind not only about this but about most things (please take no offense in this Julie, I'm not meaning it as an attack). Basically when I read Julie's opening statement, (knowing very little about her), I read into it as she being a bit confused about her own sexuality, that though the girl hitting on her has startled her a bit, she also made her more curious about her own sexuality and is probably wondering what it is like to be with a woman and maybe even fishing to see what others think about this...wondering if this is "acceptable" behaviour.  I would even guess that in the back of her mind she probably has at least once, thought about taking this girl up on her offer. I say this because without any of us knowing her sexuality or questioning it she has made it a point to defend it proclaiming to us all that she is straight, as in an attempt to justify herself to herself by telling everyone that she is "normal" and not one of those "funny" people who like the same sex. Hence the "Ewwww." as well, the same wording that all kids use to describe the person who who they have a crush on....also used to describe brussel sprouts too, so I don't know how much validity my words have.   I dunno if I'm right about all the above, I might just be full of turd... just a guess so please if ya jump on my back, use one foot instead of two  

Anyways, I'm not trying to defend Julie or what she said, her hang-ups are her own problem - I'm neither a bartender or a psychologist(sp?), I'm only sticking up for the belief that it is through the vocalization of bad ideas that we are able to curb these thoughts into good ideas before they become bad actions. And like I said earlier, we don't all have the luxury of having wise family and friends to help guide us.

Well the meter's up, gotta go,

T Rev or

[This message has been edited by Trevor (10-11-2002 02:56 PM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


45 posted 10-11-2002 02:31 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Tim? I'll edit and e ya an explanation. My apologies.
hush
Senior Member
since 05-27-2001
Posts 1693
Ohio, USA


46 posted 10-11-2002 11:05 PM       View Profile for hush   Email hush   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hush

Ah... I guess I could have made my earlier point much more succinct by saying that this entire thread reminds me of the tag for the Spiritual forum- y'know, the "Intolerance WILL NOT be tolerated..." Just seems like a bit of a catch-22 if ya ask me.

'Well, I will not be an enemy of anything
    I'll only stand here'

-Counting Crows

RSWells
Member Elite
since 06-17-2001
Posts 2607


47 posted 10-11-2002 11:46 PM       View Profile for RSWells   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSWells

I'll neither edit nor apologize for any banter exchanged between consenting adults in an attempt to add levity to a discussion which spins in an edit delirium out of it's original context. If I have to stand here alone in a blue field festooned with apologies looking for all the world like pee wee Herman then so be it. Now I have to go and post some adult male fantasies in Adult Poetry.
Tim
Senior Member
since 06-08-99
Posts 1801


48 posted 10-12-2002 12:32 AM       View Profile for Tim   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tim

Mr. Wells...  I did not ask nor expect an edit or apology for anything written by anyone.  I was attempting to make a point. I failed.  If you want to fantasize and joke about having sex with school girls, that is your perogative and none of my concern.  I fail to see the humor, but that is my problem and not yours. Hopefully you can forgive my insensitivity, but I have personal issues concerning child sexual abuse which sometimes cloud my judgement.  Enjoy your fantasies in adult.
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 10-10-2001
Posts 14644
South Carolina, USA


49 posted 10-12-2002 02:52 PM       View Profile for Magnus   Email Magnus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Magnus

I won't go into the do's and don'ts....the
should and should not haves.  I will only
relate this to you...very simply put but
carries a lot of meaning..

I served in the Navy with another man who
was my friend and co-worker for about four
years.  We laughed together, worked together
and developed a strong bond of friendship.

Unfortunately,  often times people move away
from each other...and for years may not have
any contact...Such was the case with he and
I...  I had not heard from him in about 23
years...when out of the blue I received an
email from him....

Well,  3 emails later...he told me that he
was gay,  that all his life he knew that his
sexual thoughts were just not quite what they
should have been,  had he been heterosexual
in his sexual/relationship preferences...

Was I shocked?  NO...  Did it bring out a
twinge of mixed emotions?  YES...

Most importantly,  he wanted to say hi,  
he wanted to say that he was dying...of AIDS
complications...and he wanted my friendship,
needed that little cyberhug...from a friend.

I gave him that cyberhug as a friend....I
know that put him at ease and made him even
more comfortable with where he was in life.

I told him one thing.....  I told him that
I,  who live in my own glass house,  can
not ever throw rocks at him or anyone else.

He died about two months later....and I feel
so good inside for the choice that I made
and the difference I made with him by
accepting him as who he was,  a human being
and a friend....nothing more,  nothing less.

Thank You...

Barry
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Discussion >> pipTalk Lounge >> I was just hit on by a teenage girl   [ Page: 1  2  3  ] Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors