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Passions in Poetry

What do you consider cheating on a mate?

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Android 17
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0 posted 09-22-2002 01:01 AM       View Profile for Android 17   Email Android 17   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Android 17's Home Page   View IP for Android 17

I'm VERY interested to see the results of this question...

...well, what do you think?

Here I am, I am your child...lying safe and warm. In your womb...for I am, the unwated life......

Christopher
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1 posted 09-22-2002 01:20 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

wow, what a loaded question. lol. i imagine the replies will be nearly as varied as the repliers.

my op: i think that the boundaries of a relationship need to be discussed and defined... mutually; within the confines of the relationship, both partners must come to an agreement of that which would be acceptable as well as what is unacceptable within their morals/desires/future goals.

going outside that agreement is cheating.

a lot of people will probably define the answer of your question with something along the lines of any romantic contact outside of your partner. however, i don't believe that what works for one couple will necessarily work for the next. to blindly accept society's strictures and structure of a relationship is the disallowment of growth. study yourself, your beliefs, and act within that framework. if what you believe when viewing this from an open mind follows that which is "standard," then all the better for you. if not, then more power to you as well, as long as you and the person you are in the relationship with can come to terms and agreement on the differences.

[This message has been edited by Christopher (09-22-2002 01:22 AM).]

serenity blaze
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2 posted 09-22-2002 01:53 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I am not a monogamous sort of person.

surprise...

neither is "he" actually.

What I consider cheating has little to do with a physical loyalty.

I feel cheated whenever I don't feel a comaradery, a trust--even if it means he says to me, "I'm really attracted to someone else"--I prefer that to a LIE. I told someone once, (don't ask the date--grin) that "I love you so much, I want the best for you--even if that does not include ME."

This is what I want to give--it's the level of love that I strive for--and what I want in return...and yes, anything less? I feel cheated. It has nothing to do with the physical. Any body can scratch an itch.
Duncan
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3 posted 09-22-2002 02:42 AM       View Profile for Duncan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Duncan

Any body can scratch an itch.
I beg to differ.  Well, ok...but not so good as the right body.

You are cheating, when YOU feel like you are cheating.  Sometimes, a quite thin line.  But one you define for yourself.
brian madden
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4 posted 09-22-2002 08:27 AM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

I guess it depends on the depth an nature of the relationship. Though you are cheating if make your partner believe that you are both at the same level of commitment, when you are less comitment. Cheating is in the lies and betrayal.  

Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood
L cohen

Kosetsu
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5 posted 09-22-2002 11:15 AM       View Profile for Kosetsu   Email Kosetsu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kosetsu

I've got to agree with Christopher. Boundaries need to be set by each couple. Each person has their own personality and way of doing things. I know some people that feel like they're cheating if they even so much as look at another person long enough.

A couple should discuss with each other and agree on a set boundary. This can always been tightened or loosened later.

-Adam
Moon Dust
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6 posted 09-22-2002 11:40 AM       View Profile for Moon Dust   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Moon Dust

no but I thoguht u were talking about pinchin a friends boyfriend. In that case I wouldn't either.

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

Miah
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7 posted 09-22-2002 12:02 PM       View Profile for Miah   Email Miah   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Miah

I pretty much agree to what Chris said, it depends on what the two people agree on.

I myself am a very monogamous person as well.

If my boyfriend started cybering with some girl on the net,then I consider that cheating, be it physically or emotionally.


Then I would have to say "Hit the road Jack"

Jenn Cirrincione
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8 posted 09-22-2002 01:38 PM       View Profile for Jenn Cirrincione   Email Jenn Cirrincione   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jenn Cirrincione

Definitly personal choice, it's up to the partners involved. *I* personally see that there are levels to dating. Although anyone you are "seeing" has a right to any jealous feeling to having you "see" other people; it cannot be considered cheating in my eyes because you two are not exclusive. When, however, the relationship becomes one on one and exclusive- the two should then agree to be only with one another, no outside contact with others.

And I don't see "cybering" as cheating..just rather silly.

Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving?

anonymousfemale
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9 posted 09-22-2002 11:36 PM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

I tend to disagree with relationships completely and the moronic boundaries they place upon a human being. The last few relationships I was in ended up with me telling the person that I had cheated on them several times and as such couldn't respect them because they would still be willing to stay with me. So yes, I would cheat on a partner because relationships aren't something I value in life. There are far more important things to deal with.

"No wonder I do not make people comfortable. I am a mirror. I have far too many things to say." - Mouthing the Words

Android 17
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10 posted 09-23-2002 12:25 AM       View Profile for Android 17   Email Android 17   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Android 17's Home Page   View IP for Android 17

Hmmm---all interesting replies! MY personal views on cheating cannot be had, unless I first discuss the "boundaries" part.

For the most part, there's different parts of me that agrees with all of you...you I still hold my opinion!

It's all a matter of trust---whether that trust be weak, or strong...it's still trust! If I had a girl who I full fledgidly trusted (and I do), and she shared my EXACT views on cheating (which she doesn't) then I'd be perfectly fine.

Y'see---to me...cheating is doing ANYTHING in which starts a romantic relationship with someone else. Dating, risks romance---so that's kinda outta the question. Sure, if me and my girl had a full understanding and same views---she could fool around with whoever she wanted to. It would be okay to me, just as long as she outright TOLD me! Sure, it'd hurt---but unless it's romance...she still loves me, and nothing really changes that! I trusted her to do as she wished---and she did...I trust her to tell me, and if that ever happen, I would gladly like to hear of it.

Y'see---my "theory" stretches and breaks the trust! The trust is broken, by selling your body...but that's compensated by being told about it! We can't learn about ourselves by being chained to one person---but as long as it doesn't go stupidly far...it's okay!

Mmmm...and again, if you feel bad about it---then you're most likely to stop! Aye? And when that happens, you KNOW you're cheating! *nods nods*

Let's turn the page here---to yet another aspect. Another trust; if she doesn't want you to cheat...and wants you to keep your love and body sacred to one another. ...You tell her you won't---then she's trusting you not to break her trust! Dispite anything, her word...her not wanting you to pounce another girl---should be easy! If you really care for her, then you'd respect her word...and request! Should you not?

Hugging, is fine
Kissing on the cheek, is fine
Kissing, is fine (just as long as it isn't everyone you see)
Sex, it's a double edged sword
Finding love in another, is drawing the line!

Those're my two-pennies!

[Sorry for the monosexed examples]

Here I am, I am your child...lying safe and warm. In your womb...for I am, the unwated life......

hush
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11 posted 09-24-2002 04:38 PM       View Profile for hush   Email hush   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hush

'So yes, I would cheat on a partner because relationships aren't something I value in life.'

So why would you even get into a relationship in the first place, knowing that you hold this value?

I don't know... I hold monogamy pretty highly... I agree that it should be set by the two involved... some people are fine with their lovers snuggling and flirting with others... whatever floats their boat. But I just can't see cheating on someone you're in a close relationship with... if you don't want the committment of the relationship, break it off, and then you can be with as many people as you want. But don't go share your body and love with other people and expect your long-term partner to be happy as a clam to provide emotional stability while you're shopping around. Can't have your cake and eat it too.

'Well, I will not be an enemy of anything
    I'll only stand here'

-Counting Crows

bsquirrel
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12 posted 09-24-2002 05:50 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

When she's all like "Community Chest declares you god. Collect $5,000."

"What? Let me see the card!"

"No, honey."

"Are you crazy? Do you think I'm gonna fall for this?"

"Hey, you're the one who 'mysteriously' came up with $1,000 to pay for landing on Boardwalk!"

"Oh..."

I HATE that.

Miah
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13 posted 09-24-2002 06:20 PM       View Profile for Miah   Email Miah   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Miah

bsquirrel. ROTF that was good.  
Opeth
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14 posted 09-25-2002 09:05 AM       View Profile for Opeth   Email Opeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Opeth

Ask Bill Clinton.
Android 17
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15 posted 09-25-2002 09:27 AM       View Profile for Android 17   Email Android 17   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Android 17's Home Page   View IP for Android 17

"I, did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky...she had sex with me!"

All I do, is think about you...

Opeth
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16 posted 09-25-2002 09:49 AM       View Profile for Opeth   Email Opeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Opeth

LOL, I wonder how many men tried to use that line with their wives or girlfriends?
Acies
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17 posted 09-25-2002 10:32 AM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

he could've said it wasn't sex but making love

l o est mon amour?
donde est mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

Opeth
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18 posted 09-25-2002 10:36 AM       View Profile for Opeth   Email Opeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Opeth

Good one!
bsquirrel
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19 posted 09-25-2002 01:36 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thank God George Bush is in the White House now! I missed wars, economic recession and the sale of natural lots to the highest bidder! And all while receiving less than half of the popular vote.

Good ol' W!

bsquirrel
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20 posted 09-25-2002 01:50 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

My apologies. That was woefully out of context. Delete as you may.
Android 17
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21 posted 09-26-2002 12:24 AM       View Profile for Android 17   Email Android 17   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Android 17's Home Page   View IP for Android 17

*thinks* Hmmm...I DOUBT that line'd go over well with Rimma...-_-v

All I do, is think about you...

anonymousfemale
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22 posted 09-26-2002 10:18 PM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

bsquirrel - Thank you for that. Needed a good laugh.
Irie
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23 posted 09-27-2002 12:14 AM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

I can't believe I am going to say this,
but I have to say that I actually agree with Chris on this one.
(I've been doing that more and more these days)

Opeth & bsquirrel.... ROLFMAO! You crack me up!


~Sheri

"Don't wait for your ship to come in ...
Swim out to it"

[This message has been edited by Irie (09-27-2002 12:15 AM).]

Local Parasite
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24 posted 09-27-2002 09:31 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Like Serenity, I am not a monogamous person...

"Cheating" is too complicated.     What ever happened to the Care Bears' lesson of sharing?

Hmm?
 
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