Lansing, MI USA
ok. . .
arguments are going to happen. . . there's no way around it. . . there are going to be disagreements. . . but, as you said, it's how you handle them that's the key. . .
no, you can't just go yelling and screaming at each other. . . that never works. . . and, sometimes, leads to great anger (believe me, I know). . . sometimes, you have to walk away from the argument and just take a moment to get your thoughts back together and go from there (this is something that I try to do, doesn't always work, but I do try to do it)
yes, you have to talk and to listen to one another. . . and, you have to learn to try to see things from the other person's perspective. . .
sometimes, sadly, other things weigh in on this. . . perhaps someone is tired, or has had a bad day, or they're just not feeling well. . . or, they've been dealing with other things or people. . .all of these things can influence an argument. . . and yes, I know that these kinds of things shouldn't weigh in like they do. . . but, they do. . .
do the sillly things matter?? it depends on what they are. . . what might be silly to one may not be to the other. . . this has to be communicated. . . if the one that sees it as silly understands that it's not so silly to the other, they will try hard (if they love that person) to understand. . .
does it doom the future of the relationship? no. . . it takes more than constant arguing to doom a relationship. . . a lot more. . . I know that I don't have to tell you what those things are. . . you know them already (or, can probably figure them out. . .)
yes, there are peaceful ways to disagree. . .and it can be done. . .
something else that you mentioned. . . you have to consider also if the person that you're with has had in the past (or, is coming out of) a relationship where disagreements were not as peaceful. . .where all that they did was yelling and screaming. . . it can be something that's hard to break. . . but, again, if they care about you, they will work on it. . .and learn to disagree without being angry. . .
communication is important. . .you can't hide. . .you have to say what you're going to say. . . there's nothing worse than not saying anything. . .
lots and lots of good words here. . . can't wait to see more. . .
To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.
[This message has been edited by Sven (07-17-2002 05:00 PM).]