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catalinamoon
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The Shores of Alone

0 posted 2002-05-04 10:21 PM


I was just talking to an old friend that I haven't seen in 8 years. He says he has not felt any passage of time, and maintains it is because he never had children. That children define the passage of time for most people
I tend to think that made sense. Any opinions?

© Copyright 2002 Sandra - All Rights Reserved
Greeneyes
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1 posted 2002-05-04 10:54 PM


Sandra~

I would not be the same person with out my girls....every night I have the pleasure to tuck them in with a complete feeling of love....my little one Alacia Grace and my seven year old Tyler Alexa, are just  beautiful children, they are sweet and polite and have manners, and I know it is because this is the way my parents raised me....it really does "rub" off, but even more then that I see everyday how the resemble my mom or dad, not only in actions, but in expressions.....I have been so blessed to have two beautiful girls....


I find this very interesting, thank you for sharing it....

and yes I agree...they are a passage of time.....

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
Could I have been anyone other than me
True poems rest between the words
Just give hope a chance to float up

PoetryIsLife
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2 posted 2002-05-04 10:59 PM


Interesting thought.

I know a lot of people who have kids and still seem young, and healthy. Nevertheless, having and raising children is a lot of work, energy, pain and passion if done right. It takes a lot out of a person. Yet so does everything else in life.

To feel the passage of time I think is a matter of health, happiness, and how much we go through. I've been through many a up and down these past few months. I think back to the accident that nearly took my family's life, and I am shocked it was only a month and a half ago. Yet do I feel the passage of time? No, because I am happy, and healthy. So, I don't think it's how much you go through, or what you go through, I think it's all in how you deal with it.

Note: that's just my ramblings.

Sincerely,
Titus

Every second that passes you are one second older. You'll never get that second back.

Opeth
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The Ravines
3 posted 2002-05-05 11:31 AM


Your subject matter made me think...

Even though my son is married and living on his own (recently 1-1.5 years ago), it seems like all the time in between was a blink of an eye ~ YET, my daughter whom is 12, the time with her seems be lasting forever...like slow motion in time...

strange...

Sunshine
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4 posted 2002-05-05 11:43 AM


Ah...a very good thought, and very interesting.  [Note, I am taking a break from a writing, so what do I find? More reason to write...]

When a child, I was the eldest, so found my early years to be helping in the raising of my siblings.  Something that I can remember only once really pondering that it was not something I wanted to do, and wanted to know what it was like to be an "only child" as they must certainly have more fun, sans and then of course, being raised a very obedient child, went back to helping care for the young ones.  It seemed a natural course to go almost directly into motherhood.  There was no time in my youth when I had me all to myself.  That is not something that I think a person should do without.  I think it would be a good thing to have some alone time in one's early years.  

But that gets away from your question.  And adds to it, as I think a little more about it.  For once a parent, always a parent, and always, the passage of time is very close to the skin.  We wait for the day they will hit "this mark" in their timeline, and once it comes, we agonize that it came "too soon".  We must learn slowly how to be graceful in the giving up of our children.  My mother was not so eager to give up her first; I wanted to make it less painful to allow mine their take their first flight.

As we cannot have one and know the other, I don't know how best to answer the question, but I do appreciate the way you phrased it.  I remain grateful that I had my girls to raise.

Kit McCallum
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5 posted 2002-05-05 12:18 PM


Wonderful thoughts to ponder here Sandra.  

I've noticed this myself, and talked about it with my sister.  She has 2 wonderful children, and can guage the last 18 years (age of her oldest) by the various milestones the kids reached as they grew up. She can pinpoint most dates quite accurately, because she'll go back and say ... "that's when Travis was 3 ... or that's when Trevor was 12".  She also tended to follow the passage of her own years as they went along regarding the children. Often, she'll note "when I was 17 like Travis, I was doing such and such - geez, I can't believe I'm xxx years old now" etc.  It's almost like for the last 18 years she's had kids, she's had a very definate and detailed timeline and she can mentally pull out details at any moment as to what was happening, how old she was, how old the kids were, etc. It's like an "easy to re-wind programmable VCR".

Me, on the other hand ... I'm am the opposite. I was not able to have children, and I am nothing like my sister in that respect (my VCR is one of those, that I can't figure out how to program, lol). My milestones are separated by far too many years. Finishing school, getting married, starting my business ...

Beyond that ... my years just seem to meld one into the next, without any real "timeline" to help me pinpoint what year certain things happened when asked. I'm terrible with dates, and I also never seem to feel "my age". I feel like I went from about 19 to 60 somehow (when the truth is ... I'm somewhere in the middle).  

I do think it does have a lot to do with the fact that I  don't have important, tangible markers to help me along like the various milestones that come almost daily with raising a family.  

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (05-05-2002 12:20 PM).]

catalinamoon
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6 posted 2002-05-05 12:51 PM


Thanks for your thoughts. I think when you see chldren get older, you know that in fact you  must be older, whether or not you feel it. I find it amazing that I am the same exact person inside, but I have graddaughers now, one about to start school! It just amazes me. And I think without those little ones, it would not feel so noticable. It's undeniable when your daughter has children, that you can't be 19 anymore
Ron
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7 posted 2002-05-05 02:49 PM


I've always thought the perception of time was related to anticipation.

When I was a kid, it seems like I spent all summer waiting for school to start, then all school-year waiting for summer. And the years crept by like molasses running uphill. When I was in the Marines, I literally counted the days until I'd be out of the Marines, and in spite of a very hectic pace, I think I spend at least two or three lifetimes in the service. Waiting.

How long is nine months? Today it seems like the blink of an eye. Yet, any man or (especially) woman who has become a parent can tell you just how LOOONNG nine months can truly seem. Look in the dictionary, if you must. Pregnancy and interminable are surely synonyms.

Once I entered the business world, time seemed to quicken a bit. There was no end in sight, no dates set in stone when things would change, no milestones to anticipate. It was a mountain to climb, with the peaks hidden behind the clouds. Progress was apparent, of course, sometimes even rapid, but it wasn't marked by a calendar. And the years crept by very quickly. Far too quickly, I think today.

Time becomes more noticeable, more important, I think, when we are waiting. Maybe that's why we all need goals, and why goals should always be marked on a timeline?

Christopher
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8 posted 2002-05-06 03:56 AM


i'm in the boat with Ron. I don't have any children, but i can see that time has passed rather quickly. I do, however, have goals... and they seem some ways off. it's all subjective. what matters i think, is whether, when you do look back, think that you spent your time well.


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