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Passions in Poetry

How are your Manners?

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Poet deVine
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0 posted 04-03-2002 09:34 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine


In a national survey about America's manners more than three quarters of the 2,000 people polled said courtesy and lack of respect for others in American society is a serious problem. More than half think things have gotten worse in the last few years.

Some of the issues are:

Poor customer service in a place of business (causing some people to actually walk out)
Talking in a loud voice on a cell phone (in public)
Aggressive or reckless drivers
Use of foul language in public


So? What do you think?

I know I've walked out of a store because I was being ignored and others were being helped before me (I tend to be invisible I guess because it happens all the time).  I don't own a cell phone and would like to have an electric zapper to cause some cell phone users to get a 'shock' - I especially don't like to hear someone's private business or family argument as I'm standing in line to get popcorn at a movie! I tend to be a moderate driver (but I do exceed the speed limit - I think 55 is just an AVERAGE!) And swearing? Don't do it.
NapalmsConstantlyConfused
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1 posted 04-03-2002 10:20 AM       View Profile for NapalmsConstantlyConfused   Email NapalmsConstantlyConfused   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for NapalmsConstantlyConfused

define aggressive driving - is it a matter of speed, or is it a matter of rudely cutting people off, riding someone's side so they can't change lanes, or sitting in people's blind spot?

-Dave
Poet deVine
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2 posted 04-03-2002 10:53 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I would think it's rudely cutting people off, riding someone's side so they can't change lanes......
Marge Tindal
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3 posted 04-03-2002 11:08 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

I have a tendency to find the constant use of dirty language to be one of the most offensive 'lack of manners' prevelant in society today.

I do not tolerate it being used in my presence ... and I'm quick to reprimand if someone tries it.

It's almost impossible to watch television at all because of the use of filthy language ... let alone try to find something to watch in mixed company or with children present.

*Yes, I know there are other channels out there and I make sure I watch them.

As far as rudeness in customer service areas, it is not something that should be tolerated.
Everyone has a 'boss' that just might care that I won't be back because of the actions of a rude person who works for them.
I'm a courteous shopper and diner and I will not let rudeness go unreported.

I'm a courteous driver and let the idiots fly by without a 'ruffle-of-my-feathers'~  I do get tremendous delight in seeing many of them pulled by the 'blue light special' on up the road !

Good manners show respect ... not just TO others ...
but ABOUT others.
I was taught to use them ... and passed them on to my four children ... it's nice to see that they apply what they were taught~
And as each of them work with others ... they are quick to teach good manners also.

I wish this post would get hundreds of responses !
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
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PhaerieChild
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4 posted 04-03-2002 11:31 AM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

I too get ignored at stores and always wonder why. It is very disconcerting to ask for help and when I finally get some, a friend of the clerk or some lovely lady shows up and the clerk is off like a rocket in the middle of my questions. I use a cell phone but only in my car and only in parking lots or at home. I can't stand to go to a public restroom and some one is talking on a cell to someone else. I would not like my conversations to be heard like that. Another thing I can't stand are people who have total disregard for others on the road. I don't drive crazy or particularly fast, but I do maintain the speed limit and when some clown cuts me off or sits in my blind spot it just makes my blood boil! One thing that really bothers me and it seems to happen all the time is I will go to a restaurant for coffee or a light snack and invariably there is always some loudmouth wanting to express his/her views on religion or politics and they always look at me as if to say "I'm important and every word that falls out of my mouth is golden." This happened yesterday and it still irks me. It is not necessary to include a whole restaurant in a conversation built for 4. All I wanted to do was read my paper and drink my coffee. Even the wait staff ended up being roped into this conversation. It was hard to get service this way.

Patience is the ability to idle your motor, when you feel like stripping your gears. Author Unknown

Elizabeth Cor
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5 posted 04-03-2002 06:01 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

  Hm. Bad customer service vs. cell phones.

  What about this conundrum: at our coffee shop, the baristas are a bit like... er... nazis... we DO control the place, and our regulars are frequent and plentiful enough that if an 'outsider' does something especially rude or unacceptable, the costumer ISN'T right... they are ostracized.

There is a certain line that must be stepped over before this action is taken; we provide excellent service and advice, along with sarcasm and wit at your personal expense... but we also insist upon courtesy in return; refreshing, really, to work in a place with that kind of approach.

  Example: if you walk in talking on a cell phone, no one will pay any attention to you until you shut. it. off.

  Itís a given rule, agreed upon by all employees; you're order WILL not be taken until the little addiction box is put away. We do this out of personal belief/disgust, and respect for the other customers who have to look at the ass at the counter rambling away at full volume.

  ~grin~ Itís amazing the kind of autonomy you can gain at some jobs paying hourly wages.

p.s. to caffeine addicts everywhere: remember, we ARE supplying you with your legal drug of choice. Be nice to us: we could serve you decaf.

What? I am NEVER hyperbolic.
Nicole
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6 posted 04-03-2002 07:44 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

I had no idea that costumers frequented coffee shops so much.

sigh...I know what you meant, in SID the customers are ALWAYS costumers...what is this world coming to anyway.  There ought to be a law.
Poet deVine
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7 posted 04-03-2002 07:55 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

A cup of coffee is good for relieving the eye strain of sewing rhinestones on Cher's dress....
RosePetal
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8 posted 04-03-2002 08:51 PM       View Profile for RosePetal   Email RosePetal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RosePetal

Hmmm I am guity of blabbing on a cell phone as I shop through the mall, usually because I see an outfit that my sister would love and I call her and I'll be describing it to her, lol.
I'll be honest with you all, there are times when I am get into a very bad mood and I will curse but I don't curse AT anyone, I just mutter it to myself.

As for driving, I am a safe driver, I don't cut people off or give them the finger, mostly because I don't want anyone to crash into me! I love the privilege of being able to drive and I wouldn't like having my license suspended so I'm a very careful driver.
OH, and Rule #1 The CUSTOMER is ALWAYS RIGHT, when I'm doubt refer back to rule #1!
That's how I feel!
One of my worst habbits is eating with my fingers because I'm just lazy to use the fork lol and sitting with one leg on the chair. hehehe
My BIGGEST pet peeve is people who constantly TALK in the movie theatre! It drives me up the wall, if i paid good money to see a movie, I also want to be able to HEAR it too!
Jamie
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9 posted 04-04-2002 12:25 AM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

DECAF?????
now that would be rude
Bec
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10 posted 04-04-2002 05:49 AM       View Profile for Bec   Email Bec   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bec

Actually, I came across some rudeness in customer service only the other day. My boyfriend and I were waiting patiently at Red Rooster for someone to serve us. There was no-one at the counter, and no bell or door alarm to tell them there were customers, so we stood and waited. After several minutes, we decided that was very rude, went next door to a bakery and were served by a very friendly woman before we'd even decided what we wanted!

"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is to go where they can find you."
-Winnie-the-Pooh

Interloper
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11 posted 04-04-2002 12:44 PM       View Profile for Interloper   Email Interloper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Interloper

Any man who uses profanity in front of a woman or child should be jailed.

Any woman that uses profanity in front of a child should be jailed.

Any man or woman that uses profanity displays their ignorance and bad manners (i.e. poor breeding).

Any man that does not open doors for women or walk on the traffic side of the street has no manners at all.

Any woman who refuses to let a man be a gentleman lacks manners as well.

You want rude?  Spend a day in NYC!
RosePetal
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12 posted 04-04-2002 01:46 PM       View Profile for RosePetal   Email RosePetal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RosePetal

Interloper, you are right about seeing rudeness in NYC, I've lived there until I was 10 and seen plenty of it.
Poet deVine
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13 posted 04-04-2002 02:17 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Rudeness exists everywhere, you shouldn't single out one city!!
Sven
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14 posted 04-04-2002 04:01 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Here's a tangent question. . .

Does rudeness exist because we allow it to??

In other words, have we as a society allowed rudeness to flourish simply so that we ourselves do not appear rude as well?

If someone is talking on a cell phone in a restaurant, what do you do?  Do you say anything?  Why or why not?  Do you believe that this leads to the thinking that "I can talk on my cell phone here. . . who's going to say anything??"

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Poet deVine
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15 posted 04-04-2002 05:10 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I don't own a cell phone.
Kielo
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16 posted 04-04-2002 05:37 PM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

Well, the fact that "Manners" was capitalized reminded me of a really dumb joke kids told in elementary school. I'm not sure if that speaks to my lack thereof, me immaturity, or my selective memory...

Be that as it may, I think a lot of people are simply losing respect and common courtesy. A while ago, a guy opened a door for me. Actually it was two years ago. It shocked me so much that I still remember it.

My parents went on a cruise a year ago, and the tips were included in the price of the food. My parents said it was awful because the workers knew they couldn't lose their tips, so they were rude and unhelpful. They went on other cruises where tips were not included and said the service was excellent. Maybe we just need more motivation...

Kielo
anonymousfemale
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17 posted 04-04-2002 08:12 PM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

My manners are fairly good whenever I walk into a shop. I don't know what it is but I've never been ignored. However, if they do try something funny with me like an attitude, they do get the full brunt of my anger and then a talking to their manager. It's not a nice thing to do but it helps them remember for future customers.
I'm guilty of talking on my mobile too in public. I personally can't see anything wrong with it. I wasn't asking anyone to listen to my conversation so if they do so, they're the rude ones. Eavesdropping is annoying enough as it is without having people complain about doing it.

"Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy." - Susanna Kaysen

Magicmystery
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18 posted 04-05-2002 12:55 AM       View Profile for Magicmystery   Email Magicmystery   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Magicmystery's Home Page   View IP for Magicmystery

I cannot agree with Marge enough.... Nothing irks me more than a rude clerk or waitress.I am of the opinion that there are far too many people in these positions that would serve their employers better in areas of "reduced public exposure" (if that is at all possible). I am a grocery store cashier.  I ENJOY my job (usually singing to the music on our P.A. system) and MY customers KNOW they are valued. I take great pleasure in making each and everyone of them feel special and wanted. (even the grumpy ones) do you know how far a smile goes?

On to the road~~~ I have to say that two situations top my Pet Peave list.  Nothing makes my blood boil more than being STUCK behind someone turning left that has failed to use his signals thus informing those behind of his decision. The other is the weaver who thinks that all of us are moving too slow and that the speed limit is just a suggestion.

If you need a laugh and a reality check click on the link ~~~ http://home.cogeco.ca/~sherrygardner/shopping.htm

Cherish the good memories past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow.
But above all... be kind to yourself today.

Packratmike
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19 posted 04-05-2002 01:47 AM       View Profile for Packratmike   Email Packratmike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Packratmike

I hate when I'm sitting in a theatre, watching a great movie and someone's cell phone goes off. That's rude, but the most rude, inconsiderate and insensitive thing I think I've ever witnessed occurred at a funeral I attended a few months ago...some stupid wench's cell phone started ringing in the middle of the service.  She didn't have the sense to shut it off before she came and then she let it ring as she stood up and left the chapel.
Irie
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20 posted 04-05-2002 02:30 AM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

I was taught at a very young age about respect.
I feel that I have very good manners, in most areas.

I have to deal with customers every day, and the only time I am rude to them
is if they deserve it. I had a man scream and swear at me as soon as I answered his call.
I simply told him if he was going to continue
to be abusive that I was going to terminate the call.

I do own a wireless phone but only use it at appropriate times.
And if I am anywhere other than at home, in my car or outside, the ringer is muted.

A friend of mine who was in her 70's past away earlier this year.
Now, you want to hear rude?
During her service a cell phone rang, not once, but twice.
And, some idoit behind me had a cell phone that kept going in and out of service,
and the phone beeped every time it did so.

Drivers? I don't even want to go there!

~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"


Alicia
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21 posted 04-05-2002 01:16 PM       View Profile for Alicia   Email Alicia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicia

~Confession: I tend to be an aggressive? driver, AT TIMES, (though certain areas around here demand it if you actually want to _get_ anywhere), just last night after a few moments of torment and harrassing from a guy behind me (ok so, I sort of cut him off, but the person I was originally behind wasn't going anywhere) I used my finger, oh, eee, (held the little thing out there for a good mile, really),...(he was getting mean!) -- (please know though that I _am_ usually concerned for the safety of others as I hope (right) they are for mine), and I also confess to owning a cell phone, though it doesn't ring, and I don't talk on it inside of anywhere, it usually stays in my truck, where I talk on it only for a reason and never to just chat,...

Otherwise, I think my manners are quite nice,...regardless of the poor exhibits I witness on a daily basis. I have a lot of concern for the way that I treat people, I do.
*Peace, (don't hate me).
Christopher
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22 posted 04-05-2002 01:35 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

if you're driving less than twice the speed limit - i'm passing you.

i have two cell phones which i'm on far too often to suit me. my idea of a break means i turn my phones off. however, i ALWAYS turn my phone off in a theater, i would definitely not even take it to a funeral, a wedding (unless it was my own and had an arrangement with a friend to call me at an 'opportune' moment to 'save' me...). i will take it into a restaurant, though i make every effort to be considerate of others and their meal... just as you probably don't want to hear my conversation, i usually don't want you to hear it.

the one that i have little say about is my nextel - basically a two-way radio. it happens that i'll be in a store and someone will buzz me and start talking. lol - i usually exit quickly or ask the caller to stand by until i can find a good place to talk, as anyone nearby can hear BOTH sides of a conversation on a nextel.

manners are one thing, tolerance another. this is the day and age of constant communication... being such, tolerance will have to be developed for those who ARE constantly communicating, because the generation growing up right now will see it as natural, and in ten years, you'll find that NOT having a phone in your ear will be the unusual thing.

C
Christopher
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23 posted 04-05-2002 02:49 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

this might make the cell phone thing a little easier to deal with
http://msn.com.com/2100-1105-875043.html
Sven
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24 posted 04-05-2002 03:31 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

quote:
I don't own a cell phone

please insert your own breach of manners (such as aggressive driving or use of foul language) in my previous post above. . .

----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

 
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