How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Discussion
 pipTalk Lounge
 It seems I have been overturned   [ Page: 1  2  3  ]
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Ron   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

It seems I have been overturned

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


0 posted 03-15-2002 12:47 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Picture this - It's the 18th century, you find your dearly beloved, who has been missing for hours, trapped beneath the wheels of a coach...with dignity and strength, he or she attempts to bolster your failing senses by stating lightly 'It seems I have been overturned' - nevermind the blood, the gross picture of destruction, the squealing horses.

Then, they gently expire - no shrieks of pain: merely to ease your suffering. And all you can do is run around madly, raving about cucumbers and legs of mutton! Is this fair?? Is this just???

Is this what you would want your beloved to do if you had been the one to die in such terrible, quiet torment?

It's UNFAIR I SAY!

K


Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


1 posted 03-15-2002 12:50 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

Never mind that...I cooked him a roast for supper. What about the devouring plans???
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


2 posted 03-15-2002 12:55 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Well dear..I'm afraid you'll have to get members of the landed gentry to help you consume it...and the jellies, and the cucumbers..and the mutton...and the delicate whipt pastries...


~shaking head~

Plans must not go to waste!
Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


3 posted 03-15-2002 01:09 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

We would have persuaded my mother to have taken a Wing of a Chicken, but she would not
be persuaded ... being eminently dead.

Oh, reference to the above ... to account for the seeming forgetfullness I must inform you of a trifling circumstance concerning them which I have as yet never mentioned. The death of my Parents a few weeks after my Departure, is the circumstance I allude to.

Pity, Father could have done with a steak...
Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


4 posted 03-15-2002 01:15 AM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

I always longed particularly to go to Vaux-hall, to see whether the cold Beef there is cut so thin as it is reported, for I have a sly suspicion that few people understand the art of cutting a slice of cold Beef so well as I do
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


5 posted 03-15-2002 01:32 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

I say!

Could this be such? Thus, I have pondered and have discovered there is nothing so heartening as a full larder. Sadly...in accordance with Devouring Plan Act 1 section 2v, all deceased persons must consume at least 5 parts ham, and 3 parts chocolate pudding.

You must revive your Father

or he shall be mightily and fortrightly puni-shed!

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


6 posted 03-15-2002 01:44 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

Alas, I offered him three servings of Whipt sullabyb as he lay on his death bed, pleading that he imbibe some... he tipped the cup to his lips and gasped... "I will" he declared, and instantly Expired.
Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


7 posted 03-15-2002 01:54 AM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

How awful...
was that your sister and aunt on the couch alternately fainting?
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


8 posted 03-15-2002 02:46 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

alas no...they were actually in the midst of wild frenzies...

No, that was Miss Birchenhill and Miss Rouagaldhjgaolsgjdalsgjdlajg...(german girl).

I say! Has anyone seen what happened to the 5 pound banknotes? I swear, that evil gentleman who is certainly not of the gentle persuasion has robbed them from me! And I, only having borrowed them from his personal study without his knowledge! I am greatly offended and must soon swoon. And if I swoon too much I will Expire. He must be stopped!

Look - there is my love in the distance..to swoon or run madly through the hills in his general direction? Help me! - such a decision is far above my sensibilities.

Does anyone have a fat joint of mutton ready?
Jeffrey E. Osborne
Member
since 11-01-2001
Posts 169
out there


9 posted 03-15-2002 03:05 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey E. Osborne   Email Jeffrey E. Osborne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey E. Osborne

"No mutton here, m'lady although I do have a rather hearty cucumber", he says with a whiplash smile and a curl of his handlebar mustache.

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


10 posted 03-15-2002 03:21 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Handle bar moustache?

Oh but really - you must be with the times, Sir! You cannot offend such delicate Constitutions with your outrageous and vulgar Dress. I must insist you repair immediately to a Barber of such nature as can transform you into a Gentleman.

Hairy cucumbers? Are they not of the Scottish type? Welsh is also acceptable..



Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


11 posted 03-15-2002 03:32 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

A MOUSTACHE???

*swoons in twelve directions*p.s.skcushaon

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (03-15-2002 05:02 AM).]

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


12 posted 03-15-2002 05:22 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I have merely one inquiry... Is being 'overturned' preferable to being 'expunged'?...
Jeffrey E. Osborne
Member
since 11-01-2001
Posts 169
out there


13 posted 03-15-2002 05:49 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey E. Osborne   Email Jeffrey E. Osborne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey E. Osborne

"Aye m'lady, the Scottish cucumber, while a little less hairy than its Welsh counterpart, is a good bit longer and has a more curvaceous shape", he says as he runs a hand across his clean shaven face and adjusts his kilt with a flourish.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


14 posted 03-15-2002 06:53 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


Aye, she eavesdropped, and heard plans for a fair meal, but first, she had to step over the body in order to gain entrance into the great hall....
Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


15 posted 03-15-2002 08:55 AM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

Letter the ?
Portman Square March 15th


'Well my dear William what do you think of these girls? for my part, I do not find them so plain as I expected.  
They are so much alike' (said he) 'that I should suppose the faults of one, would be the faults of both.'
'Well, then, in the first place, they are both so horribly tall!'

'They are taller than you are indeed' (said I with a smile).

'Nay,' (said he), 'I know nothing of that.'

'Well, but' (I continued) 'tho' they may be above the common size, their figures are perfectly elegant, and as to their faces, their Eyes are beautifull--.'

'I never can think such tremendous, knock-me-down figures in the least degree elegant, and as for their eyes, they are so tall that I never could strain my neck enough to look at them.'

'Nay,' (replied I),' know not whether you may not be in the right in not attempting it, for perhaps they might dazzle you with their Lustre.' I never fail listening to their Music, and they  as constant in eating my pies. One play'd, yet not even a pidgeon-pye of my making could obtain from her a single word of approbation. This was certainly enough to put any one in a Passion,however, I was as cool as a Cream-cheese and having formed my plan and concerted a scheme of Revenge, I was determined to let her have her own way and not even to make her a single reproach.

It is very hard that a pretty Woman is never to be told she is so by any one of her own Sex, without that person's being suspected to be either her determined Enemy, or her professed Toad-eater. How much more amiable are women in that particular! In spite of this Defect (or rather by reason of it) there is something very noble and majestic in it.

I am afraid this Letter will be but a poor Specimen of my Powers in the Witty Way, and your opinion of them will not be greatly increased when I assure you that I have been as entertaining as I possibly could--.

Affectionate Freind
   J Barislow

[This message has been edited by Jamie (03-15-2002 08:57 AM).]

Siofra
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 09-28-2000
Posts 575
State of Suspended Passion


16 posted 03-15-2002 02:14 PM       View Profile for Siofra   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Siofra

Fascinating

"My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words
Of that tongue’s uttering, yet I know the sound:" "Romeo and Juliet"

Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


17 posted 03-15-2002 03:18 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

It is fascniating, but nearly so much as Louisa Burton. She was the Daughter of a distant Relation, who dieing a few Months before in extreme poverty, left his only Child then about eighteen to the protection of any of his Relations who would protect her. Mrs. Drummond was the only one who found herself so disposed--Louisa was therefore removed from a miserable Cottage in Yorkshire to an elegant Mansion in Cumberland, and from every pecuniary Distress that Poverty could inflict, to every elegant Enjoyment that Money could purchase--. Louisa was naturally ill-tempered and Cunning; but she had been taught to disguise her real Disposition, under the appearance of insinuating Sweetness by a father who but too well knew, that to be married, would be the only chance she would have of not being starved, and who flattered himself that with such an extroidinary share of personal beauty, joined to a gentleness of Manners, and an engaging address, she might stand a good chance of pleasing some young Man who might afford to marry a Girl without a Shilling. Louisa perfectly entered into her father's schemes and was determined to forward them with all her care and attention. By dint of Perseverance and Application, she had at length so thoroughly disguised her natural disposition under the mask of Innocence, and Softness, as to impose upon every one who had not by a long and constant intimacy with her discovered her real Character. Such was Louisa when the hapless Lesley first beheld her at Drummond-house. His heart which (to use a favourite comparison) was as delicate as sweet and as tender as a Whipt-syllabub, could not resist her attractions. In a very few Days, he was falling in love, shortly afterwards actually fell, and before he had known her a Month, he had married her.

Fascinating stuff indeed.

J
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


18 posted 03-15-2002 03:31 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

quote:
as delicate as sweet and as tender as a Whipt-syllabub

I hear that Whipt-syllabubs are really good with Ranch dressing. . .



------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


19 posted 03-15-2002 04:30 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

and what of the chef? he who, justly avowed to maintain the honor of his third sister's cousin's aunt, did thereupon stand in the starkness of the shadows within the study, awaiting only the moment of Perfection during which to push the couch upon your now expunged lover?

did he make enough for everyone?
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


20 posted 03-15-2002 04:42 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


Now, the truth be told...once to know if there were enough, to know then that once is never enough for anyone, and all would leave, still hungry, for more.
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


21 posted 03-15-2002 04:58 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

unless they partook of the Flaming Shishkabobs, which, i daresay, were poisoned by the Earl of Sheepssex's late mistress. should that have been the course of the matter, then, despite all protestations to same, they would invariably expire, the inner lining of their dailiy constitutional having been summarily pun-ished by the extravagance of the flavour.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


22 posted 03-15-2002 07:03 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

! said the Fair Lady, upon waking. ! again cried she. Followed with a demure ?

'I believe my Sensibilities have been cruelly damaged by such a Display as this. Hairy cucumbers and a diatribe about poor Lousia Burton which reeks of alarming Unoriginality and not a Unique play on words amongst it....oh I fear I shall faint! What cause have I to wax upon the life of Louisa Burton? Am I not worthy of a Husband and Title? I met one young Gentleman only last week who wished for my hand, instantly! 'Oh my Soul he cried, you are mine for...' alas, he was then overturned. I am destined for Spinsterhood! What shall become of me? The 5 pound banknotes are all used! I must faint alternately! This very minute!'

! cried she in desperate alarm, aware that her full muslin gown and elaborate hair were about to plunge into the banquet table cradled with Flaming whipts and Flying shishkabobs (though these, for the most part, were careening in a Maddened Frenzy into the great oak doors).

Yet alas, the faint was enacted: There laid she of the Fair Face and Full Gown, awash in the gravy of a 34.6 pound roast beef.

Upon waking dramatically 1/4 of a second later, in a room 1 breadth x 5 height + 9 lengths, the monologue once again trembled its way from her quivering lips.

'! This gravy is quite Tasty! I must repair to the chef and inform him that his skills are well met. I also enjoy the new tie-dye style it has produced upon my muslin; I am sure I will cause a Sensation at the Ball this eve. Perhaps there my Sense of Fashion may procure my Fair self a Husband of Note and Worthy. Then we shall see who is the richer - Louisa Burton who had to wait a Month for her joining or myself - who may marry in only 1/4 part of an hour! I am certain that Lord Sheepssex is eager for a new Mistress, however, it must be considered that the poor Angel is still in the throes of a dread consumption after reading the poor, in-humourous manner in which his case was presented by that raving-rogue Master C. I am sure also that the roast beef so anticipated at the aforementioned Ball on this very Day of our Lord shall occasion no comparison with my own!' So said she, delicately licking her muslin.

!

[This message has been edited by Severn (03-15-2002 07:35 PM).]

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


23 posted 03-15-2002 07:29 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

!

?

'I have but one more Request, noble Reader,' stated the Fair Lady, 'It would greatly improve upon my happiness if you would all favour me with...'

~swoon~

!
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


24 posted 03-15-2002 08:27 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

and the Fair Lady - admired no less for her Stubborness and Illiteracy than her passing resemblance to Liv ----- the Duchess of Perfection - peremptorily fell to swooning once more in the murderous chef's gravy, devouring it in maddened inhalations of the kind Young "Ladies" are often cautioned against (it being well known that one-dip gravy is Not to be partaken of alternately.)

and what of the Earl, you, Dear Reader, might query?!? Thro' the Fair Lady's recurrant dipping, the Earl of Sheepssex was no sooner arrived than did a Flaming Shishkaboob carreen maddeningly off of the Fair Lady's bonnet, and thus proceeded to bring itself toward his Bowler Cap. There, it entered it with a fearful 'thunk!' '!   !   !' the Earl exclaimed, whereupon he expired, his French Knit Nightcap fluttering to the ground and leaving his Lordhip in the most dreadful of poses - a Curtsey!

'Alas,' wailed the Fair Lady upon recovering from another faint ---- '!' and '!!!' then 'Spinster!'


[This message has been edited by Christopher (03-15-2002 08:29 PM).]

 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Discussion >> pipTalk Lounge >> It seems I have been overturned   [ Page: 1  2  3  ] Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors