I got this in my email! Enjoy!
Things Only a Kid Would Say
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead." She was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"D! ! aaaa-aaaad....."
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally
asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said.
"I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came
into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said,"Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey,
remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
[This message has been edited by Denise (03-11-2002 09:16 AM).]