»
Discussion
»
pipTalk Lounge
»
How to Wash A Cat
| pipTalk Lounge |
|
How to Wash A Cat |
|
|
Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London 
|
How to Wash A Cat ~~~ 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. ~ 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both the seat and lid lifted. ~ 3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom. ~ 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the seat and lid. (You may need to stand on the lid so he cannot escape.) ~ CAUTION: DO NOT GET ANY PART OF YOUR BODY TOO CLOSE TO THE EDGE, AS HIS PAWS WILL BE REACHING OUT FOR ANY SURFACE THEY CAN FIND. ~ NOTE: THE CAT WILL SELF AGITATE AND MAKE AMPLE SUDS. NEVER MIND THE NOISES THAT COME FROM THE TOILET, THE CAT IS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THIS. ~ 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective. ~ 6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door. ~ 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can. Quickly lift the seat and lid. ~ 8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself. ~ ~ Sincerely, THE DOG |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Rex Allen McCoy - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
amigo Senior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 520the earth school |
...The Creator DID have a forethought - lucky, cats belong to the self-cleaning category...  |
||
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
HA HA HA! My cats were not amused. The dog is laughing his tail off and saying, 'Here kitty, kitty'. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT leave this where LJA can see it. I don't want him getting any ideas for Lorelei's Musette! |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Can we lock LJA out of this forum??? We can, right???..  |
||
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
 I love cats, but I think this is absolutely hilarious!  Hmmm...I (and my siblings) used to stack milk crates at my Grandmother's and put her cats (and kittens) in the crates (underneath like they were in cages) and play vetrinarian. We used to try to teach them to climb (because we didn't know they had their own natural learning instincts..we thought we were helping them) by throwing them onto the curtains in the house and letting them climb down themselves!  We caught them...well..sometimes we caught them if they began to fall. We'd give them "shots" Ohh..and we did the same climbing lessons on the outside of the house too except we used trees, but we didnt put them too high! ROTFL! Well..**shrugs** We didn't know it was torture. We were trying to help them!  For all who watch.Dare you say hello? Come in and ask the questions that are on your mind, but spare me your judgement until you truly sipped of me. |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Tried it...my cat, Moira, didn't care much for it...she spent almost ALL night outside.. making me worry and lose sleep. And she now RUNS past the bathroom..hmm.. she used to LOVE to sit at the door and wait for me.  |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Sharon, I tried this too...but I decided a mere bucket was appropriate...minus soap, rinse and spin... Have you ever seen a cat glare, then walk off managing to look dignified with dripping legs...? Quite a sight... Mean K (I was a kid already...)  K |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
I figure if God really wanted mankind to be washing cats, He would never have invented the lion. To my way of thinking, that was a definite warning. When was the last time you heard about a man-eating dog? |
||
PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
I remember this from a bit back... still as humorous, even to a cat-lover. The One, The Only... The Titus. |
||
|
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
you're not related to LongJohnAg are you? |
||
|
RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
hehhehe no worries for me, Im not much of a cat person, I like dogs |
||
|
Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Hey! Dogs rule and cats drool ... I know this to be true, I saw it in a Disney Movie |
||
|
Bec Member
since 2001-02-23
Posts 475Canberra |
OMG!!!!!!! How hillarious! I don't have any cats, but I know some people who do!! *Here, Gocat!* My parents' dogs hate having a bath, and they're only small, they're miniature fox terriers, do you think it would work for them? Bec "Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is to go where they can find you." |
||
|
mini poet Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 56Canada |
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This is awesome!!! |
||
|
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
LMAO! I have two cats. I might try this. ;D I don't think they'd take to the new bath idea. lol. Wait, why do cats need a bath if they lick already clean themselves? -Zach "Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect" - Bob Marley |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
