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Passions in Poetry

Further discussion on flirting, and the 'evil' internet relationship game players!

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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL


0 posted 11-05-2001 12:06 AM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

Okay..the title "evil internet relationship game players" is perhaps a bit sarcastic from me. Not a good way to start off a discussion, but hey...lol..would ya rather me sugar coat it?    

Mmmkay..before I start, I'd like to say YES I realize it DOES happen, BUT people are also often unfairly labled with that reputation. I'd like to speak more about it below.   I hope everyone can stay on track with this discussion and read THOROUGHYLY everything I have to say as I think I've covered every little detail I could.   If I've missed any point, then let me know. My brain is frazzled from two weeks worth of all day every day stress!  


I wanted to address the issue of flirting that some seem to be so stirred up about. Some are apologizing openly for doing so, and I don't think its necessary to do so unless you feel you've crossed a line. If you feel you've crossed a line, then perhaps the apology should be to the person you feel you crossed it with, and not to the people here at Passions. I'm not berating anyone for doing so, just stating my feelings on it.

There is nothing wrong with harmless flirting because harmless flirting usually means there is a mutual (whether spoken or not) agreement between the two engaged in it that its all in jest or fun.  Anything that goes beyond that should remain the business of whoever is involved. I encourage people not to judge the people who do this though, because can we really tell all of the time on here if we are making a friendly wink at a friend we're joking with or if we're flirting? Unless we have some specific information from the people involved, we really don't know what is going on.(even that sometimes is not accurate) Anything that goes beyond harmless flirting should remain the business of whoever is involved. If we don't truly know the facts (or even if we do) then it really should not be our concern or business. (umm..yeah...here i just think I said the same thing like three times..there are those darned communication skills killed by stress.  )

I understand that there are rumors of Passions in Poetry seductresses and casanovas, but still it is not up to us to protect other people (unless the situation is possibly dangerous, then it would be possibly be up to an admin or webmaster...I'm still studying that one)as they are inclined to do whatever suits them anyway. It is, however, up to us to protect ourselves against this type of thing if we feel the need, by distancing ourselves from it.

I really would encourage people to be a little less inclined point fingers and also a little less swift to judge the interaction, whether flirty or not, here in these forums. Everything is not what it seems, and what is seems is not everything that is happening. Umm..does that mean the same thing?  

Thats all I have to say for now.   Hope someone can make sense of it.  

G'night, and Thankers for reading!

*Jenn*

Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 11-05-2001 06:37 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

My apology was a simple "mea culpa" for a rather risque' reply. I apologized not for flirting, but for disregarding Ron's guidelines. As for rumors? Here, let's start one about me....

Hmmm...

I am actually a 68 year old male psychologist performing an experiment on psychological internet interactions by using the persona of "serenity."



Hey, what can I say? Some people WRITE poetry, and some people ARE poetry!

bwahahahaha.....  
rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 05-31-2000
Posts 3404
PA


2 posted 11-05-2001 07:21 AM       View Profile for rosepetals25   Email rosepetals25   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rosepetals25

I completely agree with you Jenn. I think what ever goes on between two people is their business.  We sit back and jump to conclusions, not knowing what the real story is sometimes.  Two people could be harmlessly flirting, knowing their limits, knowing where they stand.  

But.. Drama usually prevails. lol.

RSWells
Member Elite
since 06-17-2001
Posts 2607


3 posted 11-05-2001 08:55 AM       View Profile for RSWells   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSWells

I'm certainly in agreement on one point. The name calling and finger pointing from the self righteous who would be our thought police is unnerving. IF someone was close to "crossing the line" then they should have been contacted and the error of their ways pointed out. It's amusing to see who has stepped forward with a bucket of red paint and brush in hand. From what I see one individual's first post at passions was an attack on the "casanova's". I've seen this before...a site starts to factionalize into posses and hanging parties and everyone is dragged down from the noble purpose of our art. One thing I did learn from it was to mind my own business. As you know I keep very much to myself which shouldn't be interpreted as weakness. I'm far too good at anger and came here to get away from it. I hope this is the last we hear from it and prunes, prudes and the pretentious practice poetry and not proliferate polemic preening.
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


4 posted 11-05-2001 02:41 PM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

Hi Jenn.  I'd hate to think all of my therapy has been a waste. I sure don't have all the answers but let me offer this if I may.

A person, man or woman, has free will. They can make a choice. They make that choice to be involved with someone, anyone, on the basis of their judgment of that person's character, what they share in conversation and so on.  Just like in real life except you don't have the inflection, the facial expressions, the body language and so on.

We only know what the other person reveals to us. We may be a mess!  Of course, we don't want anyone to know so we only show our good side. This happens in a lot of relationships (I feel I'm not making any sense here but I'm trying)

Some can handle flirting, some can't. Me?
I am not very good at it!  I come off flat every time, I tried it once!! My problem is I take it all too seriously, which one reason I'm not writing anything right now. I need to get a grip on what's real and what's not. I realize that doesn't make me sound too mature but I'm too serious.

My heart goes out to anyone who is hurt by an internet relationship. But this is and should remain a poetry forum, not a lonely hearts club. Sure, if two people meet, can handle it and are on the same playing field, that's wonderful.  If not, they should know they can't handle it and admit it.

Anyway, it's a subject I hope is laid to rest for awhile, as I, for one am tired of thinking about it!  No offense, sweetie!!!!

I just love poetry and want to one day, be able to read and yes, write without reading more into things than I have done in the past and well...live and let live.

Isn't that what we all should do?

Kathleen
nickname "Kay"

"Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently."

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


5 posted 11-05-2001 02:41 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Jenn? Are you winking at me?   ROLF
Richard? did any one ever tell you alliterations are very sexy  
Flirt? MOI? not mothy lil ole me  

This place has been, is and will always be a soap opera of emotions and personalities...
If everyone makes an honest effort to follow the rules set by Ron and respect each other and focus on the poetry first .... then we should be able to have fun and be able to weather the rough spots...  for like life...even poetry land will have a few bumps in the road.
We're poets..(almost perfect)not saints    


KIDDING....just kidding....(sometimes ya gotta spell it out)  
peace and poetry my friends.
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


6 posted 11-05-2001 05:10 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

I have to stay out of this one because everyone knows I never get involved in controversial subjects.  

(duck)
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL


7 posted 11-05-2001 06:54 PM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

Ser,
I wasn't really pointing out any one person's apologies, nor did I assume ALL of them were apologising for being flirts. I'm sorry if I came across that way. Just the ones that were clearly apologizing for flirting...I just think they shouldn't have to feel guilty about it if they aren't doing anything wrong? (and even if they are when they aren't supposed to be, its not up to us to point fingers..etc..etc..You get what I'm say, I'm sure.  
As far as the rumor I JUST KNEW YOU WERE UP TO SOMETHING!! umm..can I help?  

rosepetals25,
Hiya! Thanks for commenting on this. Its good to see you.   And all I have to say is EXACTLY. I mean..yes..maybe we should just not worry what others are saying and ignore it, etc, but what happens when the rumor mill gets to running well enough that it starts to interfere with the personal lives (offline) of anyone involved? That is when rummors begin to distress people I think.

Richard,
I appreciate your thoughts on this, and I totally agree with you.   Yep..you're a keeper to yourselfer, but you know I'll keep bugging you, right?  

Irish Rose,
I understand what you're saying, but you do realize what I'm saying I hope.   Yes, our hearts could go out to anyone hurt by an internet relationship, but usually there are two sides to any story. Often people are too quick to judge when its on on line relationship. Immediately when things don't work out and someone's heart gets broken there are those who jump to conclusion and cast people into the category of that evil internet player person. That is not always the case.

Janet,
Thanks for commenting, really. I had began to wonder about you. I hope things are well. And yes..I'm winking, but at everyone I guess. lol! My winky thingy is stuck!   So, I agree with you. We're not all saints. Flirting whether serious or not should be the business of those involved and not the business of the whole forum.   I don't think discussions like this take away from the poetry though. Sometimes discussion is good for us.  

Local Rebel,
Gee..thanks for the input!      You? avoiding controversial subjects? This from someone who makes a darned good argument in the philosophy forum I'm terrified of. lol! I read there, but never join in. Too much typing when I could be writing poetry! LOL! err...like now? Oh well. I like it all anyways.   Good to see you.  






Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence.

[This message has been edited by Temptress (edited 11-05-2001).]

Gene
Senior Member
since 01-23-2000
Posts 940
Colorado, USA


8 posted 11-05-2001 07:11 PM       View Profile for Gene   Email Gene   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Gene's Home Page   View IP for Gene

I like to flirt, but I don't want to come across like a dirty old man, I leave that to the Adult forum. LOL  

I think people can figure out if someone is just a harmless flirt by the way he/she says things. I'm careful about who I flirt with and I also know how far i can go without offending someone by the way they flirt and/or respond to me. Although, the problem with the internet is that it's difficult to convey some things in writing. But if you read someone's poetry, you can usually tell what they're like. A lot of unconscious thoughts are conveyed in a preson's writing.  

I've never had a bad experience on the internet, though. Sometimes my flirting has lead to e-mail contact and sometimes it has turned out to be great and other times it's lead nowhere, but it's never been bad.

[This message has been edited by Gene (edited 11-05-2001).]

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


9 posted 11-05-2001 07:26 PM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

of course, Jenn, I know what you mean and you're right, dear.  

Kathleen
nickname "Kay"

"Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently."

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 06-03-2000
Posts 9897
The Shores of Alone


10 posted 11-05-2001 07:26 PM       View Profile for catalinamoon   Email catalinamoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit catalinamoon's Home Page   View IP for catalinamoon

Well, for my 10 cents worth, I wish I could flirt with more of the men here, they all seem so fun and romantic. (seem being the operative word, as I have no real idea)
But hey, in my opinion, flirt away, its natural and fun.
Sandra
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


11 posted 11-05-2001 07:29 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

...serves no purpose...

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 11-05-2001).]

Alyssa
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 05-30-2001
Posts 1279
IM ENGAGED!!!!!


12 posted 11-05-2001 08:01 PM       View Profile for Alyssa   Email Alyssa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alyssa

HUH?!

3 out of 5 computers bought today will be physically abused by their owners...

Gene
Senior Member
since 01-23-2000
Posts 940
Colorado, USA


13 posted 11-06-2001 12:18 PM       View Profile for Gene   Email Gene   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Gene's Home Page   View IP for Gene

Balladeer,

Too late...I already read it.   LOL
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


14 posted 11-06-2001 04:34 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

people flirt on the internet?

you mean right here at passions in poetry?

you're kidding!!!!!!
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL


15 posted 11-06-2001 07:39 PM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

Nope..not a soul..no one flirts, and no one sticks their two cents in! LOL!  

Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence.

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


16 posted 11-06-2001 09:02 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

I'm with doreen. . . I'm just. . . well. . . I'm just. . .  . . .

I can't believe it. . . doreen, you didn't tell me that it was like this. . .  . . . and I'd like to go on record that I've never put in my two cents. . . one-and-a-half maybe. . . but never two. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


17 posted 11-07-2001 12:35 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Hey, Gene! You've got real quick eyes!!  

Then you can understand my reason for deleting it....best to let some things lay, I suppose. Peace...
RSWells
Member Elite
since 06-17-2001
Posts 2607


18 posted 11-07-2001 01:12 PM       View Profile for RSWells   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSWells

Probably is.
 
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