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Passions in Poetry

New jokes for Elizabeth

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Sven
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


0 posted 08-24-2001 12:11 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

My friends, in an effort to help my dear friend Elizabeth discover better jokes to share with the rest of us, I'd like you all to post some here, in the hopes that we can help people like her (who are "joke challenged") discover what is truly funny. . .    LOL  

Here are my contributions. . .

What did the dog yell when it saw the pieces of the fallen tree?
Bark! Bark!

What did the blanket say to the bed?
You are under cover

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor?
It was just a stage he was going through

What do you call a cow with no feet?
Ground beef

LOL     ROFL          

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To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Temptress
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL


1 posted 08-24-2001 06:13 PM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress


NUT! ALL OF YOU!    
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


2 posted 08-24-2001 07:03 PM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The answer is at this site ... http://www.ozmasplace.cjb.net/

but don't go there, unless you're
sure you want to know the answer,
once and for all
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


3 posted 08-25-2001 12:37 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

LOL SVEN!!!!!

But what makes you think these are any BETTER? *wonders how many paint chips Sven has eaten   * My cheese joke and cow joke rocked!  
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


4 posted 08-25-2001 07:10 AM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

Tickle me
~~~

A women desperately looking for work goes into Erwin Toys.
The Personal Manager goes over her resume and explains to her
that he regrets he has nothing worthy of her.  The woman
answers that she really needs work and will take almost
anything.  The Personal Manager hums and haws and finally
says he does have a low skill job on the "Tickle Me Elmo"
line and nothing else.  The woman happily excepts.  He takes
her down to the line and explains her duties and that she
should be in for 8:00 AM the next day.

The next day at 8:45 there's a knock at the Personal
Manager's door.  The "Tickle Me Elmo" line manager comes in
and starts ranting about the woman just hired.  After
screaming for 15 minutes about how badly backed up the
assembly line is the Personal Manager suggested he show him
the problem.

Together they head down to the line and sure enough Elmos
are backed up from here to kingdom come.  Right at the end of
the line is the woman just hired, she has pulled over a roll
of the material used for the Elmos and has a big bag of
marbles.  They both watch as she cuts a little piece of
fabric and takes 2 marbles and starts sowing them between
Elmo's legs.

The personal managers starts to kill himself laughing and
finally after 20 minutes of rolling around he pulls himself
together and walks over to the new employee and says: "I'm
sorry I guess you misunderstood me yesterday.  What I wanted
you  to  do  was  give  Elmo  two
test  tickles."
Sven
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Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


5 posted 08-26-2001 12:25 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

ROFL  

now that's what I call a joke!!!!  

-------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

 
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