A few faves:
* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
* Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
* Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
* Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
* Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
* 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
* EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
* If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
* If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
* Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
* Just say no! to sex with pro-lifers.
* Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
* If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
* If only being stupid were painful!