In my opinion, you have 2 options, #1 being first & foremost....compromise! If she understands the difference in your emotional needs, explain to her that for now, you need a bit of encouragement & "reminding"....and in turn, try to "let up" a bit....Try to meet 1/2 way on this....She can be just a bit more sensitive to your needs, and you in turn need to respect her needs and not smother as much...
#2....Find someone who has equal emotional needs as you do, who understands and will care for you and supply you with this. People tend to be one way or the other, very "unattached" and anti-emotional....or else like you & I, people who are very sensitive, sensual, and like to not only express that, but also receive it in return for "nourishment" for our hearts and emotions....
My last relationship was just like this, and I found myself in your very shoes....I loved this man and admired him for his strength and his being self-sufficient - he didn't need anyone to survive....unfortunately, he made me feel as if he was so strong that he didn't need me either, I was simply a roomate - a convenience if you will....I struggled with this for the longest time, wondering why I should be with someone who didn't NEED me.. He did love me, but he came across as being withdrawn and somewhat "cold"...I'm very much like yourself....I like to hear it & be reminded....it's just NICE....nothing wrong with reassuring your partner that they're important in your life....I like to reassure my man of my feelings for him....and yes, the guy I was with thought I went overboard with it too...he felt it unnecessary, saying, " You know how I feel, I shouldn't have to repeat myself....you should already know!" It's a tough situation, but it's important your needs are met....if she truly loves you, she'll be sure you're nurtured and cared for.....it's not a CHORE, it's something you do because you love the other person.....and you care about their needs, no matter how "silly" they may seem to you.....Sorry for rambling on, but I do know where you're at....***blowing kisses**** good luck.... Gennifer
- poet FemmeFatale
"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet
[This message has been edited by poetFemmeFatale (edited 08-20-99).]