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Passions in Poetry

Where do you lose it?

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Ladycat
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Senior Member
since 07-05-99
Posts 809
At the edge and a doorway,TX


0 posted 09-03-99 01:13 AM       View Profile for Ladycat   Email Ladycat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladycat's Home Page   View IP for Ladycat

Please excuse me while I rant again.. I know I'm the Queen of Rant..

Mostly this is just a question.. When I was younger I had no problems with appearance.. I never even thought about the way that other people looked, but now it is a different story.. Not that I care how people look, but it is the fact that I hear the most horrid things about people from other people that I work with.. Makes you wonder what they are saying about you behind your back..

I have a manager that only hires skinned,big breasted, beautiful women (as he puts it).. Another manager hired a female on here skills and not her looks and she gets teased about it all the time.. She doesn't know that this is happening.. She is a little obese, but she has brains and it seems that none of the other people there want to take time out to learn more about her due to her weight.. I've talked to her and she seems nice to me..

Now the bad thing is that I find myself looking in the mirror more and more and wondering what they say about me behind my back.. I know that this sort of thing will never stop.. Though I wonder how it got started.. You have to be the most beautiful to succeed.. It seems like a contest.. I missed where you have to enter.. I don't know if I want to enter..

When did we lose our brains and think that the only thing that will get us through this life is our looks? Somehow I feel stupid and somehow I feel sad for not knowing what to do.. Can anyone explain it to me?
I'm lost!!!

Love,
Lady

------------------
Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured.



[This message has been edited by Ladycat (edited 09-03-99).]
Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


1 posted 09-03-99 02:17 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Dear lady, in response to your title, I was going to reply that I'd already lost it! But this was before I read your post.
I believe you've come across an important issue to our society as it now stands.
Brains -vs- beauty.
As most people will tell you, the idealized version of "beauty" has stemmed from an ever callous media, prone to perpetuate heroin addicts and anorexics. It coldly puts across these "beautiful" women as the goal for all women. Girls are brought up, with these women as role models, so in turn, they are led to believe that if not like them, they are somehow inferior, or ugly.
And this ideal has transferred itself across all parts of society, extending even (as you note) into the workplace.
Now, I would say if that woman were a model, then perhaps her appearance could have some dictation as to her aptitude. But I don't get that impression. So all I have to say in response, is that the man who hires the women solely on their appearance, is probably a man who isn't as concerned with doing his job properly, as he is with gawking at women who he believes to be attractive.
On a personal note, I don't believe in this whole beauty thing, as it pertains to a physical plane. I have see the most physically attractive woman turn grotesquely ugly before my eyes as soon as she opened her mouth. And I have in turn noted that a woman of unremarkable physical presence turning beautiful as she speaks.
beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is the statement. Yet I believe it is not in the eyes, but rather the ears and the heart.
I would much rather work with an "ugly" woman, who had a good head on her shoulders, than a "beautiful" woman, who was as dumb as a box of rocks.
So for yourself, look not at the mirror, for the answer to your beauty lies inside!
Ok, I'm done now!
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


2 posted 09-03-99 06:56 AM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Ladycat, I've known you for many years, and what first attracted me to a wonderful friendship was not your looks. Yes, you are drop-dead gorgeous, and walking by graveyards makes the soil rise several inches, but this was not the factor. Listening to your questions, answers, discussions, heart, mind, and soul portayed more aptly your true beauty. And though you are very physically attractive, you are 800 pounds, bald, with 6 chins compared to the inner beauty I have found within you, and I find it a great honor to be counted your friend.

Forever and a Wednesday in downtown Houston rush-hour traffic.

Alicat
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


3 posted 09-03-99 08:51 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Hello Ladycat:

The manager that hires skinned, bbb women is going to get it someday from your local/state Human Resources Department. His qualifications border on sex-discrimination, believe it or not. Your other manager who hires people/women w/brains is doing the job in the correct manner.

Cutting to the quick...who would you rather have as a friend for life? The slightly obese woman with a brain, or the brainless twits w/boobs? I'm sitting here seeing where I'd go...but where do you want to go? Yes, taking sides is not easy, but long-lasting friendships are hard to come by. I'd rather have a fat friend say my eulogy than a woman who's garnering all the attention of my newly-widowered husband.

Don't get me wrong. Great people come in skinny packages too. So, to substantiate what Alicat and Christopher have said, get to know the soul, and you will be a better person for it.

By the way, I've read your works. You're not stupid...you're just being led around by some peerless peers, and you're stopping to take a breather in order to get back on track.

Good luck.

Sunshine
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


4 posted 09-03-99 11:24 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

I don't blame you a bit for not wanting to enter, Ladycat. I wouldn't if I were in your place. Standards of beauty change with time. What would have been considered beautiful a hundred years ago would not be considered beautiful today. Like Christopher, I'd rather work with someone who was considered ugly than a would-be model who is "dumb as a box of rocks". I know, because a manager at my job has a vacuum between her ears. A friend of mine, by coincidence, used the exact same phrase as Christopher to describe this girl. I have seen her on duty, and so often have I seen her go running to the other managers. To be perfectly fair, I must admit that she was not hired because of her looks. She became a manager because of the department head's favoritism. Either way, it makes me sick.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

Saxoness
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since 07-18-99
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Texas


5 posted 09-03-99 11:49 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

Ladycat,

I can sympathize with you, because kids starting making fun of MY appearance at the young age of 7. I am overweight, and being a very sensitive person, I tend to deny any nice things said about me, because over the years I have let others determine what level of self worth I have. It's a tough world out there for females, especially ambitious ones. I get hurt on a regular basis, partly due to others, but mostly due to my persistent belief that the words spoken are true. Sometimes, I find, even the most deceptively smooth talkers, or, writers as it may be on the net, can hurt you the worst. Where am I getting with this? An over used expression...Don't let the bastards get you down! If YOU love yourself and know who you are, then don't listen to any one else, because odds are, they are feeling just as insecure as you are.

Oh.....and if you figure out how to do all that, let me know. I'm still learning myself.

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot


Sue
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 407
France


6 posted 09-04-99 02:49 PM       View Profile for Sue   Email Sue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sue

If someone rejects me because of my looks, then that person is not worth knowing. Being gorgeous only helps (sometimes) to break the ice, after that brains and personality count.
I don't seriously think that there a lot of managers left in the world who hire on looks, and those who do are not good at their jobs, so won't last long.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


7 posted 09-04-99 08:30 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

I find in all the discussion of feelings that the more obvious and broad reaching explanations have been ignored. Look at it from a sociological standpoint, people are attracted to what they see as a potential mate and as such will be more apt to hire attractive people as opposed to those that aren't (beauty being relative). If such was not the case, mankind would have a much more diverse gene pool, though it would be detrimental to the species if people were only attracted to beauty and not brains. We would end up with a race of beautiful morons otherwise.

While I may explain the behavior, I by no means condone it. We are able to grow beyond our baser instincts and desires, failing to do so is gross negligence on the part of anyone concerned with where humanity is heading. I'm reminded of beer-swilling rednecks who sit around and discuss problems instead of doing something to fix them. End of rant.

------------------
Life is pain is poetry, at least I'll be productive.
DreamEvilŠ

Lucie
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since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


8 posted 09-04-99 10:08 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

Ok.. this sounds stupid..haha.. but, I live in Houston tooooooo!! Your not talking about me are you?? haha.. really though.. I think a person should be judged not by they way they look, but by the way they present themselves.
Ladycat
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Senior Member
since 07-05-99
Posts 809
At the edge and a doorway,TX


9 posted 09-05-99 07:58 PM       View Profile for Ladycat   Email Ladycat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladycat's Home Page   View IP for Ladycat

Lucie,
You have to remember that I'm not in Houston anymore.. I haven't been in Houston in about a year.. I'm talking about my stupid boss in Denison.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Thank you for all of your advice.. Something I know will never change.. Such as that girl has since then quit and we keep in touch.. That manager is learning respect for women now that i put him in his place.. I feel good that I have done something right..
So once again Thank You all!!!

Love,
Lady

------------------
Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured.


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