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Help me |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas 
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Ok, this is not an argument, or a response to any other arguments. It is a cry for help. One week ago, My parents and I traveled over 3 states to take me to college. When they left me, I was so upset I made myself physically ill. My Dad was crying harder than he had ever cried before, and he told me to give it one week and if after that one week, if I didn't want to stay, I could come home. Well, tommorrow is the end of that week, and I'm lonlier and more incredibly frightened than ever. But I can't go back. My Dad has spent every penny he had on getting me here, the first in our family to go to college. If I go home, I will have nothing. He will be crushed. But I'm sinking here. I have no one to talk to, no one to listen, I cry every night. I'm stranded, and don't know what to do. I'm afraid I might no t make it here emotionally. I don't know what this letter will accpomplish, or why I'm even writing it. Perhaps I'm just crying out for a friend, an ear, or something more, i don't know. I guess I'm just hoping someone will read this and want to be with me, in some small way. I guess I should go now. ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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| © Copyright 1999 Angela Erin Burke - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Just remember, there are many others who feel the same way as you do. Where are you going to school? Are you living in a dorm? Did you go to some sort of orientation program? I've been there and it is daunting at first but with time and a little effort it can be a very fulfilling experience. What are your interests? Were you in clubs at high school? Do you have any new interests? There should be people there to help you -- counselors or whatnot. Use them. Fear can be the beginning of opportunity, not just the dark side of the force. Good luck! Brad |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh dear. Big hugs. I've been there. Not for college, but I left home young and it was hard. I came from the country to a big ugly city. I was all alone, so alone. You know what kept me going? The fact that I knew things would get better. If you haven't already made your decision, try to hang on a little while longer, lovie. You won't always be alone. You'll make friends. Leaving the nest is NEVER easy. Hug a teddy bear, write letters, write poetry. talk to us here at Pin P. Thoughts are with you. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hang on, Saxoness... You've only just begun to meet people - Remember our discussion the day you left - You'll be all right - Get involved in activities - Find a poetry group - When you feel lonely, talk to someone - DO STUFF - This is a difficult transition for anyone - but remember - if you were to return home, your high school friends aren't there. They're all off doing the same thing as you are now - adjusting to college... You'll see them all at Thanksgiving - That's less than 90 days away - and you can talk to us anytime - HOLD ON - We're all with you  |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Hey Blondie, Stick it out. It is tough, it is scary, and it is lonely, but it is the opportunity of a lifetime. If opportunities were easy they would call them gifts because you have to do nothing to get them.  ------------------ Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP [This message has been edited by JP (edited 08-27-99).] [This message has been edited by JP (edited 08-27-99).] |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Thank you all, I'm holding on to these thoughts with both hands. Brad, I am in a dorm I did have orientation, and I am a theatre major. I'm getting busy! It will help. Severn, thanks for the shoulder to cry on...and can I borrow your teddy bear? Nan, yes I remember. you are right about my high school friends, it so easy to believe if I went home everything would be the same as it is was. Thank you for your encouragement. JP, your reply perhaps helped me the most, because I respect your opinion so much. I'm gonna print out this page so I can carry that little heart around with me all day long. Oh...and for any one who I talked to through ICQ, my new number is 47691250 so PLEASE contact me! I really need a few friends right now. ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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mister61 Junior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 41bergen county, nj |
Yikes - I remember that feeling too well. I had never really been away from home for more than a couple of weeks when I went to college, and went to a school where I didn't know a soul. Major culture shock, and being shy didn't help. Honestly, I faked it for a month or two and made the most of other people's friendliness. After that, I did meet people I had things in common with. I bet being involved with theatre will help a lot - automatic common interests, you know? I hope things are going better, but if they're not I almost guarantee they will soon. Good luck! |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Hey My Angel, I personally hate it when people tell me they know exactly how I feel, or that I am not the only one who feels that way.... What comfort is that anyway? Just because someone else felt the way I do it should make my depth of feeling any less than what it is? Anyway... I rambled..... anyway... your heartfelt plea inspired me to write a poem. Check out "Mile High Manilow" on the Open Fourm. ------------------ Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
JP, What can I say? Nothing here.....I know, I'll email you. But thank you. ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Saxoness - it's been a couple of days, I hope you're feeling a bit better? I have a teddy bear called Huggles who would be great for you! He specializes in his namesake. Keep smiling, thinking of you. |
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traveler Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 119 |
Saxoness ...many of us are pulling for you ... drop a note to let us know how you are ... but don't just dwell on the negative ... tell us about something nice that happened today also ... good luck ... off to read some of your posts ... |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Thank you everyone, I never expected to get this many responses. It is such a comfort to know that I have people to turn to when I'm in a dark moment. Things are starting to pick up, I have fallen in love with my classes, and the sheer exhileration of learning....I've already been pegged by me English 101 instructor as "talented" and she is thinking of moving me up to English 102. Yay! Severn, I'll be waitng for the teddy. lol. Traveler, nothing would make me happier if you druged up my work. I'll keep you guys updated, ok? I love you all.------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wahoo! Great news. Of course you're talented! I talked to Huggles - he kind of wants to stay here, but he apparently has a cousin living near you who's waiting for you in a shop somewhere....! Glad it's getting easier, sweetie. |
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traveler Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 119 |
Just checking in to see if you've got an update for us ... ------------------ You live you learn. You love you learn. You cry you learn. You lose you learn. You bleed you learn ... You grieve you learn. (Alanis Morissette) I write I learn, very slowly. Traveler |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Hey everyone! Just a report to those of you who are still wondering. I have an audition coming up for my first play, so I'm kind a nervous. I'm making new friends, which is helping out alot. I've been kind of down these past few days, because someone here at the forum has decided to publicly bad mouth me in the open forum. We had a falling out days ago, for reasons I'm still not able to figure out, he suddenly decided I wasn't worth his time. It's hurting right now, but, I suspect, this too shall pass. If any of you have any ideas how I should handle this situation, please tell me! Thanks. ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh dear - life just isn't easy! Glad to see your physical life is getting better and now, about your internet life: It depends on whether you know this person in 'real' life, a little, I think. Not being able to see someone's face can embolden us to say many things we possibly wouldn't ordinarily. Now, the fact that this person's comments were public makes it a bit more delicate. If you are worried that it'll reflect badly on you it's probably unlikely - we all know the etiquette of public forum posting - it doesn't include insulting someone for the world to see as good manners! So this person probably just looks like an idiot, hon. If this person matters a lot to you, which he sounds like he does, then I suggest waiting. Men often let off steam, in all manner of unfathomable ways - this could be his way of opening a vent!! Not very nice - he probably knows it too! So, wait and see. Can you approach him thru e-mail or anything? The hurting aspect - it sucks. Seek solace - I'm sure you have your comforts! Good luck. Tell us what happens, OK? Hugs and stuff. |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Severn, Thanks for your reply. Well, I don't know him in person, just over the net. We are no longer speaking, which I'm getting over, but it's kind of hard, especially since he is the one who showed me this forum. I'll always be grateful for that. I've talked to a few other people about it, and I figure he realizes no it wasn't a good thing to do. Looks like the waters have calmed, which is good. My parerents are coming up to see me in a week, so I'm excited about that! It's just been a lazy labor day weekend, and I've enjoyed. By the way, thanks for coming here every so often and replying. It really means alot to me. I'll check back in a few days with a new response!Angel ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
You are most welcome, but no thanks are needed of course! What are friends for but to be there!!! Glad things are calming down, though. I hate dissension - as you do too and losing a friend is never easy. Have fun with your parents - get lots of fortifying hugs!! Talk to you soon. |
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