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Passions in Poetry

The Answer is.........

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Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


0 posted 02-29-2000 10:41 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

It's been awhile since we've had a good debate here in the Alley. So here's a question designed to get this place hopping....answer honestly.

What three qualities (listed in order of importance) do you look for in a significant other?


Mistikman
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since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


1 posted 02-29-2000 10:44 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Ok, hrm, this one is a toughie  

I would say sweetness would be #1
intelligence would be #2
And physical beauty would be #3

I find it very difficult to be attracted to someone who does not have all 3 of these(or only the first 2 if online, heh)

[This message has been edited by Mistikman (edited 02-29-2000).]
Denise
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2 posted 02-29-2000 10:53 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

# 1 - Integrity

# 2 - Sense of humor

# 3 - Kindness

I think these are the three most important qualities in a significant other...at least to me!  

Denise

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


3 posted 02-29-2000 11:17 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Well, you would have to ask a question like this to get things going now wouldn't you? LOL

Let's see...

1st, have to have God, because without HIM, things are tough enough

2nd, truthful!

3rd, loving and compassionate.

I think I have my man!  
Mistikman
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since 01-10-2000
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San Jose, CA, USA


4 posted 03-01-2000 12:01 AM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

LOL she said truthful   Call me a cynic, but I find it hard to believe people when they dont put physical beauty as one of the things   It has been my experience that people will completely blow someone(like me) off if they have all 3 of the things they list, but are not physically attractive. Am I the only one here willing to admit it?  
Trevor
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since 08-12-99
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Canada


5 posted 03-01-2000 12:36 AM       View Profile for Trevor   Email Trevor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Trevor

Personally I try not to look for anything in particular, I think that would limit me. I would agree with Mistikman about physical beauty but also say that personality can outwiegh physical appearence and vice versa. There are soooo many combinations of personal triats that can make someone beautiful or ugly that I couldn't list three.
Alicat
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since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


6 posted 03-01-2000 12:42 AM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Well, since I've been alone for more of my life than I would really care for, I guess this would be my list:

1) Living and breathing.

2) Actually female.

3) Not a lesbian.




Alicat the Persnikitty
Jannel
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since 01-18-2000
Posts 498
Muncie, IN, USA


7 posted 03-01-2000 01:11 AM       View Profile for Jannel   Email Jannel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jannel

honest
intelligent
somewhat attractive, though not necessarily
   in the classic "frat boy" sense

the first two definitely outweigh the last, but i tend to be more open to getting to know attractive people, so i will admit that is a factor. however, the one guy i have been in love with is not considered at all attractive by any of my friends. and i have dated very attractive guys who found themselves girlfriendless because they failed to make intelligent conversation.


 "I'm just saying
that we've mistaken one
for thousands of words,
and for that mistake
I've caused you such pain
that I damn that word."
-10000 Maniacs "Jezebel"


danni
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since 11-20-1999
Posts 693
wisconsin


8 posted 03-01-2000 02:20 AM       View Profile for danni   Email danni   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for danni

intelligence
honesty/openess
passion

i can honestly say that physical appearance doesn't do much for me. i find the mind to be so much more attractive and it is lasting. not like physical appearance. for some reason i seem to attract tall and lanky artistic types. and i put passion for the last thing because it leaves things pretty broad. a passion for life, love, beliefs, and development leads to excitement and opportunity. things will never get boring. anyway, that's what does it for me.
Severn
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since 07-17-99
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9 posted 03-01-2000 04:39 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Intelligence
Integrity
Strength - in all things: passion, wit and anything else.

Mistikman - I can see your point, but I fully believe skin is a mere surface - the minute I get close to a drop dead gorgeous guy and find out he is a airhead - then byebye. Not to say I don't NOTICE and of course am attracted to goodlooking guys - but anything meaningful? Not unless the first three are adhered to. Uhuh, no way!

K

 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath
Nan
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since 05-20-99
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


10 posted 03-01-2000 07:34 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Easy question, PdV - and a very good one it is..

First and foremost - INTELLIGENCE -
This is an absolute must - Without the ability to communicate on a balanced intellectual level, the relationship will invariably be short-lived. I've experienced that first hand.

Second - SENSITIVITY - This covers all that passionate, affectionate stuff that's soooo important for a long-lasting attachment. Gotta have it...

Third - A SENSE OF HUMOR - No one could ever put up with me unless he has one. I like to have fun.  If you can't enjoy the lighter side of life, it becomes cumbersome.  Laughter is essential...

Physical attraction? In my opinion, the three attributes I've already mentioned - all rolled into one package - definitely constitutes physical attraction... It's physical "appearance" that's totally irrelevant...

Oh - Free to love - that's an important factor - I thought I'd throw that in...

That doesn't seem like to much to ask, does it?

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart


11 posted 03-01-2000 02:23 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

If my dog likes this person;

if this person is good to his/her parents;

and has a sense of humor.  

You can't fool a dog, so intelligence follows;

you can't be kind to others if you didn't learn it from your folks;

and humor has a way of smoothing over all the rough edges.

So, PdV, where's the conflict in all of this?

[P.S. - my spouse benefits from all these qualities...that's why, after 20 years, we still manage to live together...]

 Sunshine
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

KathieO
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since 02-28-2000
Posts 16
Canada


12 posted 03-01-2000 02:42 PM       View Profile for KathieO   Email KathieO   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for KathieO

1. Honesty
2. Caring/open heart and mind
3. Passion

Although reference has been made to physical....in my opinion...there is nothing like being committed to someone who can also penetrate your mind.

KathieO


[This message has been edited by KathieO (edited 03-01-2000).]
Poet deVine
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13 posted 03-01-2000 07:59 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Here are mine:

Kindness...there is nothing better in the world than being with someone who is kind to everyone since I try to be kind to everybody I come in contact with, it makes it nice if the person I'm with understands and doesn't get upset that I'm that way.

Intelligent/smart...not necessary college educated....I'm not an education snob...degrees don't matter unless you have a fever!

A sense of humor! Oh, my he would never survive around me without one!

Since I started this may I add one? I'm going to anyway!

Honesty...the cornerstone of every relationship. I don't care what you do..what horrible thing you did..just be honest with me...
Alwye
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since 06-16-99
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In the space between moments


14 posted 03-01-2000 10:11 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

1).  He needs to have a sence of humor, definitely.  (how else could he put up with me, anyway?)

2). He needs to be sensitive.  I am extremely emotional and I need someone to understand that part of me, especially because it is such a wild part.

3). He needs to be open and somewhat in touch with his own emotions.  I cannot handle people (as much as I've tried) that are cut of from their emotions, that are cold.  I need to be able to talk about anything, good or bad with him, and have him talk to me too.

In short, exactly what a certain someone is. That's made my life wonderful in every way and has taught me how to truly love.  

~Alwye, The mushy, in love sap~


 *Krista Knutson*

"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~

Saxoness
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since 07-18-99
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Texas


15 posted 03-02-2000 11:43 AM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

Wow, good question. And lol@Alicat. silly kitty.

1. MUST be a Christian. Equally yoked and all.

2. Sensitivity is a must. I too, am pretty emotional. I need a guy who can handle it, and who understands and is there for me.

3. Inteligence. I love a good conversation, intelectually stimulating me is a good thing.

As far as looks, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What I find to be attractive in a guy my best friend might think is a total turn off. And looks change, beauty fades. If you're in love with their heart, you'll be attracted to everything else about them.


 "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot

Alicat
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since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


16 posted 03-03-2000 09:42 AM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Ok, in all seriousness, this is my short list:

1) MUST be Christian: I've loved many who were not and got the most burned by it.

2) A sense of Humor:  nuff said

3) Someone who truly understand I Corinthians, Chapter 13, vss 4-8a.

I know these are hard and high standards, but if I can embody them, so must someone else out there...somewhere.

Alicat, the not so Persnikitty
Nicole
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since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


17 posted 03-03-2000 01:37 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

It is so hard to list just three things, there are so many different traits that make up a person's personality.  I agree that there has to be some level of physical attraction towards your significant other, however, someone's personality can make them so attractive!!  

I'll try to list three... lol

Strength & Honesty:  Strength in all things (Just like miss Kamla said!) Honesty goes with strength because it takes a strong person to be truly honest, in my opinion.  Honesty is so very important to me, and it would take a strong person to deal with the fact that I can be brutally honest at times.  I could never be involved with someone I did not respect.

Intelligent!!...but not necessarily 'book' smart.  I need to be able to have some kind of stimulating conversation.

Ambitious:  Go get 'em tiger!!     Someone who has goals and strives to reach them!



 May I never be too busy to help another's load,
Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed.

--Author Unknown
Michael
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since 08-13-99
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California


18 posted 03-04-2000 12:00 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Well, not neccessarily in this order mind you:

Integrity, which in itself, includes honesty not only to others but to themselves as to whom they are as well as a genuine moral soundness, not just a professed one.

Ambition, meaning a desire to achieve something in life.  What exactly they are striving for is irrelevant - but the setting of goals and a determination to reach those goals is very important to me.  One has to make their own happiness in this world, anyone waiting for someone to come along and make their world roses for them in setting themselves up for disappointment.  Only when a person is already content in their own life will a partener be able to add to their happiness.

They have to be Loving.  Love as described in the bible.  Kind, caring, compassionate, unselfish, not provoking, not seeking its own, not weighing fault...love.  Not a love that is fickle or based upon infatuation, not a love that is based upon expectation, and most of all, a love that is forgiving in nature.

Michael

[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-04-2000).]
Ladycat
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since 07-05-99
Posts 809
At the edge and a doorway,TX


19 posted 03-05-2000 03:40 PM       View Profile for Ladycat   Email Ladycat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladycat's Home Page   View IP for Ladycat

I have my list, but before that I have two things to say.  Alicat, you need help love.  The first answer was funny though.  The second answer #3- ICorinthians, chapter13, vss4-8a.  Remember that is a hard to find quality.  I agree with you there.

#1- Honesty- without that you have no relationship.  Everything has to be truthful.

#2- Intelligence- a dumb guy is not a guy. He becomes plant life while you are talking to him if he has no brains.

#3- Sense of humor- my father had it, my grandfather had it, and now my husband has it.  It is what keeps things together when it feels like both of you are going to fall apart.

I won't lie though, as Mistikman said "it is hard to believe ppl when they don't put physical beauty as one of there things.."

For one..  These are the top three things that ppl are looking for. Beauty would be on the list, but not as high as honesty.  Beauty can't buy happiness, though it sure helps out.  I think that I'm beautiful, but beauty is in the eye if the beholder.  So what I think is beauty may register a high ugh on your scale.  That is the reason why I leave that off.

Though I have to say that I'm glad to see that honesty, intelligence, and a sense of humor seem to lead the list!!  
Though I also have to agree with Satiate. You have to have ambition.

Oh, Ali, I hope that you find that living breathing person that you desire.. lol

Love,
Lady

[This message has been edited by Ladycat (edited 03-05-2000).]
Christopher
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since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


20 posted 03-06-2000 01:17 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

I only have two requirements...

1- She must be perfect.

2- She must think I am the most incredible peson in the world. (Well, actually I think that would probably fall under #1, since it's true, and being perfect, she would recognize this!)  


[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 03-06-2000).]
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


21 posted 03-06-2000 09:29 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

#1. HONESTY

#2. COMPASSION/ROMANCE

#3. INTELLIGENCE
jbouder
Member Elite
since 09-18-99
Posts 2641
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash


22 posted 03-06-2000 10:57 AM       View Profile for jbouder   Email jbouder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbouder

Breasts and thighs.  Definitely breasts and thighs.  What?  By "significant other" you are not talking about what parts of chicken I prefer?  I was sure that's what you all were talking about when Saxoness started talking about "yolks".  OHHHH!  "Yokes" as in oxen yokes.  Oops.  My mistake.  

Well, my wife's physical beauty snagged me (I'll never forget that red, white and blue bathing suit ... grrrrowwwwllll).  But after I was snagged she retained me with her honesty, loyalty, intelligence and kindness.  She's still a hotty (even after bearing my two sons) but I love her much more for who she is rather than for what she looks like.

So I guess I am saying that there is a difference between what I was "looking" for (that I found in that bathing suit) and what I was really "looking" for (that found me in falling in love with my wife).  Am I making any sense?  Oh well.

Later.

Jim



[This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 03-06-2000).]
Brad
Member Ascendant
since 08-20-99
Posts 5896
Jejudo, South Korea


23 posted 03-06-2000 11:10 AM       View Profile for Brad   Email Brad   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brad

I'll be honest. I'm with Jim. You guys can be all the wonders you want but I fell in love because of the way she moved, the way she held a coffee cup, the way she kissed. After that, it's the sense of humor, the sheer intelligence (it actually fits by the way), and the crazy idea that she actually loves me.

Who'd figure,
Brad
Michael
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since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


24 posted 03-06-2000 01:19 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Brad, you have a very good point - no matter what the qualities I've looked for, love itself is not biased to anything.  It's always been there right from the beginning and it's usually the little things.  The way she laughs, or the way she makes me laugh..etc.


Michael
 
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