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Just letting off steam
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Just letting off steam |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I'm tired and lost. I am sick of people using me for what they need and then leaving without a thought. I am tired of meeting people and getting to know them (developing a friendship-relationship) and then never hearing from them again. I understand busy lives and things happen that take up our time. Heck my schedual stinks but why in the world should I be the one to pick up the phine or send a message in order to make contact again? Why is it me that always thinks of others but I am the one forgotten? Am I really so very forgetable? |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
No, Marilyn, you're not. I have felt that way from time to time myself. I do think our busy schedules do get in the way most of the time with our friends. I think we are all too busy (most of the time). I decided (finally after being upset for quite some time about it) that if I wanted to hear from someone to call them. I try not to focus on whether or not they ever call me because I find that, at least for me, that it is not a productive train of thought. I give them the benefit of the doubt and try to enjoy the time that we do share. I hope this helps a bit to cheer you! HUGS Denise |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Gee Marilyn .... I used to feel that way too .... but I'm with Denise on this one ... I now write or phone whenever I haven't gotten replys or response from these people I care about .... it is usually just life that has gotten in the way ... 'S' And, the pleasure I get after writing/phoning, is worth my extra efforts ... and always makes me glad I did .... Hey, I haven't heard from you in awhile ... consider this my reach out ... I'll be anxiously waiting to hear from you, my friend .... and don't worry ... I WILL reply  |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I feel the same way...I have sent emails to some of my friends, and go weeks and weeks without a response. I realize that some of them are actually busy, but for others the reason they have not written in ages is because they are playing computer games. That really makes someone feel good. When I have not written or talked with someone for a time, I make it a point to do so, but sometimes it just seems like I am the only one to.  Elizabeth "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!" -The Crucible |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I think everyone feels this way at one time or another. How long do you wait to contact them? What's the length of time that you let go by before you think the relationship is dead? And where is common courtesy!? |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Marilyn, I learned long, long ago that our expectations of others are merely that - expectations. To wish that others adhere to our own life philosophies just doesn't work. We have to accept others for who they are - not who we'd like them to be. They may even have had the same feelings about not having heard from you. It's doubtful they're forgetting you. They're more likely forgetting themselves.. and they'd probably be very pleased to hear from you....  |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Thaks everyone for reading my rant. This happens in all aspects of my life and there are times when I just feel forgotten. It is something I have been working on for a while and I do understand the reasons behind silence. It is my history that makes me think I am ealily forgotten. I always make an effort to contact those who I care about. I just wish the people who value me would let me know a little more often. Loneliness is my constant companion. :{ Thanks again for letting me rant. Pepper hun. I know I owe you an e-mail and I promise I will send it soon. I have not been on my computer in ages (at home..I am at work now). I do treasure many of you here. Elizabeth...If you would like to e-mail me...I will answer. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Marilyn, I'm feeling a bit guilty here after reading this one. I know I don't keep in contact with anyone as much as I used to and it's not because you all are not in my thoughts. Please know you, of all people are in my thoughts daily even if you do not hear from me. Hugs |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Ruth hun. You are a dear friend and this was not directed at you. It is more about the real life friends I have here in my community. It seems that I am always the one to pick up the phone and say "hey, it's been a long time. What are you up to? What to get together for a coffee?." It seems that without my efforts I would never have company or a phone call. Sometimes it really hurts to have to be the one to do the asking all the time. I love you all and this was just a place for me to let off some of the frustration I was feeling. After that the day I posted this I was much better. I never meant to make anyone feel guilty in the least.  |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Marilyn, you are NOT forgettable!! I can remember when I first joined Passions in about January and you sent me an ecard with my first post on it. That was really sweet of you and I'll always remember your warm welcome! Then recently I emailed you cos I had block, I think your reply dissolved that block a whole lot cos it gave me hope. You are a very sweet person. Thank you for caring. Love and hugs, Lizzie |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Ohh sister of my heart, I feel bad now. I have been slack lately myself. I feel this way at present too, I am only good for what I can give and when I need something, no one is around. It isn't fair, it's hurtful etc. But as for you and I and our on again and off again relationship, we must make a pact, to email each other at the beginning of each week! No excuses! Is it a deal? For I miss you and do think of you, but never seem to find you on line lately. As for the others who let us down this way, you have to just think 'It's their loss!' feel a bit hurt, then give them the benefit of the doubt and contact them again. It is hard but it in the end it is usually rewarding. I get sick of trying sometimes too, but I keep in touch, for that is the kind of people we are loving and caring.. Also very close friends who only think of you as an afterthought, for whatever reason, it only takes a second for an email.. that hurts the most. Please email me and we'll start this weekly thing. In the meantime, hope you accept my apologies and realise the time difference does make it hard. (((((HUGS))))) my sister.. < !signature-->There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) [This message has been edited by Isis (edited 04-04-2000).] |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
I think we all have felt this way from time to time. I've been on the other end of it, too, guilty of not keeping in touch with people I care very much about. Life is very hectic these days. You have my empathy, Marilyn... I don't think it's supposed to be like this. People work too many hours and have too many responsibilities. The years can just slip by if we don't take the time to stop and treasure the most important things in life.... each other. One of my favorite quotes (who I'm quoting, I don't know... hehe)... is "Life is the thing that gets in the way of our plans". You are one of the lucky ones because you realize what's really important. I think that when someone doesn't respond, it's usually unintentional. As a whole, people mean well. The best thing to do is probably forgive them in advance and pick up the phone yourself, just as others have mentioned. I try to do that.... when I have the time... *big hug* -doreen |
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**Angel** Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 162 |
Even though I don't know you Marilyn, I understand the way you feel. Sometimes, you put your whole heart into getting to know someone and then as quick as you know it they are no where to be found! It is upsetting but I think it is good to vent some of your anger like this. Just know that we are all here for you! I just wanted to tell you that I am here for you; to talk, to listen, whatever you need! (even though you don't know me! But, I would love to be a friend) All you have to do is send me an email at send_lindsay@hotmail.com I am always here to listen. Take care of yourself and remember there is always a brighter road ahead. Lindsay |
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