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Passions in Poetry

Where Are All The REAL Men??

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Member Elite
since 01-25-2000
Posts 2574
Floating gently on a cloud....

0 posted 04-05-2000 04:17 AM       View Profile for ESP   Email ESP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ESP

In South Africa, a woman is raped every 26 seconds. Taking the female population as a whole, 1 in every 3 women has been raped. I don't know the statistic for child molesting but I know they too are high. What is wrong with all of these men who commit these crimes?
They say stupid things like "She asked for it" or "Someone told me that having sex with a two year old baby would cure my AIDs.". Come on!! Why should a woman have live in fear of being hurt in this way? Don't we have equal rights with men now? So why do men treat women in this way? Real men don't rape women. Where are all the real men of the 21st century? Do men realise how soul destroying and traumatic rape is for a woman? When will society punish them in the way they deserve? Every rapist and child molester should be castrated! When will rape be stamped out?

  Rape has to be stopped somehow, but how? No one can make monsters into angels.
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333

1 posted 04-05-2000 05:37 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

At the risk of opening a HUGE can of worms here - I must tell you as an abused child I cringe to see you label the whole of this problem to "men".  I cannot speak for the society in South Africa but I can tell you here in the United States, many of the men who commit crimes of molestation have come from abusives households, and specifically abusive or neglectful mothers.  

There is severe devistation placed unto them as children.  A feeling of intimidation and never being able to please mom at home carries over into adulthood and a feeling of intimidation and never being able to please ANY woman.  Anger and self loathing for this failure are key concepts in the fruition of the crime.  While the extent of each specific case is different I am sure, I "know" the trauma recieved by the child there can be equally as bad as any recieved by their victims.  Wounded childen become wounding adults.

Please don't misunderstand what I am saying here.  Rape is NEVER condonable under any circumstance.  I just think we should look a little closer at where the problem starts, at least here in the United States.  I agree, rape has to be stopped, but I seriously think lining rapists up for castration would do little to prevent the next case from occuring.  I can personally tell you the human body can be violated in many horrible ways, not including a penis, and it isn't always a man on the abusing end.  The violation starts in the dysfunctional mind.  Stopping the mind from reaching that point is where rape will be prevented.


[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 04-05-2000).]
Poet deVine
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 04-05-2000 09:59 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Most rapes are not crimes of passion but of power. A man's castration will not cure that.

I think a cycle of behavior began with these people's parents, their parents and so on. Also, a society that doesn't have laws to protect the abused (men, women,children) needs to be changed.

I think a blanket statement to castrate men for these crimes is a bit simplistic. I abhor this kind of crime, but I also think it's a symptom of a much deeper problem.
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart

3 posted 04-05-2000 12:43 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

ESP, I think the question is, "where are all the real human beings?"

As Michael so aptly put forth, abusing actions are not from one side or the other.

I have recently done a minor bit of research into my own family history.  For the longest time, my "be-all, end-all" history on my dad's side stopped with him and his brothers.  My grandfather was never talked about.  Later I learned, my father's father walked out on 11 kids and an ill wife.

As I watch my brother and sister age, and my children grow, I know that their actions are not based solely on their upbringing, but what was inherited and in their genes.

PDV said to look back to the parents.  You have no idea how far to look back, but to be retrospective into one's family is a good place to start, in order to stop, the abuse.

Hugs, Sunshine
Member Elite
since 01-25-2000
Posts 2574
Floating gently on a cloud....

4 posted 04-05-2000 03:08 PM       View Profile for ESP   Email ESP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ESP


Ok guys, I guess my words were kind of rash. Y'all are right. I wish there was something we could do to solve these problems though...all of them. One last question: Why do the hurt want to hurt? My thinking is that they would know how horrible it is to be hurt be it physically, emotionally or both and wouldn't want to put others through that. Anyway, thanks for putting me straight!

Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

5 posted 04-05-2000 04:02 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Oppressed people are often abused or hurt by others who are close to them.  Close friends or family members are the most likely to be the ones inflicting pain on them.  Aside from these painful experiences, there is also a very deep-rooted interpersonal relationship - usually one of "love" or at least one of "dependency".  

Both parties are likely to be dependent upon the other, though probably not in a healthy way.  People don't like giving up security.  In spite of the pain involved, leaving such a situation is frequently more emotionally threatening than staying.  In their minds, it's the "lesser of two evils", as they say.

Sadly, many never do escape this purgatory.  Abused children are an entirely different issue.  They desperately need adults to advocate for them, as they can't speak for themselves...

If only we could change the world...
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Senior Member
since 07-05-99
Posts 809
At the edge and a doorway,TX

6 posted 04-05-2000 06:01 PM       View Profile for Ladycat   Email Ladycat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladycat's Home Page   View IP for Ladycat

I can't tell you how bitter I am to hear about rape.. It kills me and for you who know me know why.. I just hoped that over the years things would change, but I see that I wrong.  When you are a female and that happens to you; you feel guilty and ashamed and you don't want to have to worry about it again.. So there are more rapes that happen that aren't reported..
I will say it like this though.  Just due to the fact that there are a few immature idiots out there that not all men are bad and it took me a long time to realize that..
So I would like to give praise to the few guys that are still good and smart, ect..

*I step down and head to the corner to cry a bit*

Senior Member
since 03-05-2000
Posts 696

7 posted 04-06-2000 02:24 AM       View Profile for StarrGazer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for StarrGazer

wow as much as I would like to say men are the root of all evil... I would have to agree that rape and  molestation are not gender specific nor is it dependant on socio-economic status. I guess the fact of the matter is it doesn't discriminate, it can happen to anyone! I don't believe that castration or even prison terms are what these people need, and I speak as a person who was molested. The hatred of these people does no good, I've been there and it is a lesson I'm learning the hard way. Hatred only fuels the fires and puts a stronger barrier up for people on both sides. I'm not saying that I condone rape or molestation in any way, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm simply saying that intervention, psychological counseling, things like this need to be done... our justice system is far from perfect, we lock up people accused of heinous crimes and in a couple of years they are paroled and most of them go back to the same crimes that put them behind bars in the first place!! So what does prison solve?? It's a short term solution to a long term problem in cases like this.Where is the psychological help, the counseling these people need? It's virtually nonexistent!
People may think this is a wierd stance for me to take , as a victim of molestation, ...but I've learned the hatred will eat you alive and in turn make you  no better a person than the person you so despise, I hated "him" for years and it didn't solve anything at all, now I pity him, even feel sorry for him... there was a time that I wished him back alive so I could kill him myself, but I've learned that would not solve anything at all. We've all been told that "sick" people do these if someone were sick would you not seek treatment for them instead of throwing them in a prison cell? It's so tempting for me to say hey I was a victim lock them up and throw away the key... but then truth speaks to me and I know that the agressor was at some point a victim too, and I can either remain a victim and perhaps end up with the same fate one day or I can break the cycle!... try to get help and understanding out there and I guess in effect that is what I am doing here. I know there are great many who that do not share my opinion on this and that is their perogative, as is mine to feel the way I do.
Joel the wolf
Senior Member
since 04-06-2000
Posts 1341
Angels Camp

8 posted 04-07-2000 08:35 PM       View Profile for Joel the wolf   Email Joel the wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Joel the wolf's Home Page   View IP for Joel the wolf

I grew up on the back streets of a hard town, most of my time running for my life.
Being the victim of several assaults, I turned to Self defense.
Now I teach what I know about the physical side of this topic, My students (men) offer
their bodes as human punching bags for this general womenís self defense class.
I have always believed that no one has the right to touch you, if you donít want them to.
I donít deal with the before arguments,  if I should, if he does, etc. I deal with the moment
you decide to take a physical action on this atrocity to your spirit.
You can think of ways to mentally fix them, I got news for you it donít work,
Yes you might be able to turn one out, thatís all well and fine, but their is 100 more
to take their place.
A hard outlook? yes.
I spread light and love when ever I can, I still tip my hat to ladies and I still hold  open doors. Not because I have to, but because I want to.
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395

9 posted 04-24-2000 09:05 AM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

There are superb comments on this
issue ---I don't need to add any just
stepping in -- Power - childhood backgrounds,
anger, craziness -- no thoughts or
guilt of these crimes -- Something
has gone wrong.

So, since it is a continuing cycle
AND men are not the only rapists, NO
Way -----Women rape, too.

The best thing to do is learn some things
that might help  --
When walking, walk with your head up -
do not use head phones it kills one
of your best senses - your ears.

Walk with firm strong steps.

Always have your key ready for your
car - always look into the back seat of
your car  

Keep your eyes open -- carry mace

Learn some techniques from different
approaches that a man can get to you.
that is still the most effective way
to get rid of an attacker.

Never look like a victim and that does
help.  --)
NUF said.

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