Good, now that that's out of the way, have you ever felt sick of the entire human race? Given, there are a few people I could tolerate right now, and even one I would love to talk to/see, but most everyone's gotten on my nerves today. I don't know why, it's just one of those days.
About a week and a half ago, my best friend decided to not only stop being my friend, but stop talking to me COMPLETELY. Last night, as he found it convienient, he wants to both talk and be my best friend again. I'd like to choke him sometimes .
To add to it, I have, very easily, the MOST immature ex-boyfriend in the WORLD. I was talking to his younger sister yesterday (who I'm still friends with) and she started asking me a number of questions. I told her if she didn't feel like talking to me, she didn't have to but she answered me with something I still don't get. She said, "my brother gets real real mad when I talk to you" and when I asked her why she told me "cuz he isn't your friend anymore but I still am". That was news to me.
To top it all off, today, Mr. Maturity managed to upset my very own little sister. See, in my neighborhood this is the way it used to be. There was a group of kids at the top of the hill (where I live) and a group at the bottom (where he lived). Well, when we started going out it was kind of a bringing together of the two groups that once hated each other, and we found something out, we really DIDN'T hate each other at all. Anyway, we found a tree across the street from my house and nicknamed it "The Family Tree" because we carved all our initials into it. The tree has been like that for almost 2 years now, until today. Today he decides to take my initials, my sister's, and my sister's best friends name off the tree. My cousin being the only one left from this 'side' of the street. I know this all sounds incredibly petty, and it is, but it upset my sister and I didn't appreciate the idea very much.
Another thing, I am going to a beauty pageant at the end of next month and I have been thinking quite a bit. I was never one for makeup or as I never thought much of what other people thought about me in the past few years. But now this pageant, I am going to be judged primarily on my physical appearance, and it won't even be MY physical appearance, it will be fake. In another two weeks, I'm going to get my hair dyed (what else but BLONDE), my eyebrows waxed, tanning, my ears pierced once again, my nails done, and of course, my PINK dress comes in on Friday. The pageant was my idea, as I thought it would be a fun experience, so I really have nothing to complain about, but now...I'm having second thoughts. I always thought I was not susceptible the marketing ploys and advertising sent to women (especially teenage girls) today. I suppose I am yet another girl to fall prey to this evil. Oh well.
Something else that really gets on my nerves, people who pretend to be my friends. Given, I don't have a lot of friends I get along with, but I do have a few that I'm really close with. My 16th birthday party is next month and my dad is throwing me this huge party. See, if it were up to me, it would just be my immediate family and my boyfriend. I would rather be surrounded by the people who I love and I know love me back. I have no problem with making new friends, I don't consider myself anti~social at all, but if you want to be my friend, don't fake it, please. Just be you. Doesn't really sound like a almost 16 year old girl, does it? Oh well, I've never been normal .
I don't like jealousy. I don't like rudeness. I don't like people who try to force you to be something you aren't. I don't like immaturity. I don't like fake people. I don't like people who so easily conform to society's image of 'beauty' (I even do this one). I don't like when people tell me who I am or what I should be. I don't like people who try to take advantage of me. I don't like people who try to walk back into my life whenever they feel like just to more than likely leave me again.
Wow, that's a lot of things I really don't like . But there's a lot of things I do like. Like, this place, and all of you nice people who keep me sane on days like today and give me space to vent .
Oh yea, I have a job interview today...I'm psyched
"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."