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Passions in Poetry

The last seven, I promise....unless

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RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


0 posted 07-17-2000 11:30 AM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

you know differently..*g*

******

A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband asked, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."

******

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices A compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

******

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

******

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: "W."

******

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...." "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

******

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"



[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 07-17-2000).]
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


1 posted 07-17-2000 11:44 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Geez, every time I hear a blond joke, I'm thankful I have dark hair!

***
Two blonde women were on opposite shores of a lake. The first blonde yelled to the second, "How do I get to the other side?" The second blonde said, "You are on the other side!"

Elizabeth


I'm grabbing my hat and coat
I'm leaving the cat a note
Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town!


LoveBug
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Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


2 posted 07-17-2000 01:49 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

ROFLMAO!


Thanks for the laughs, you two!        

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 07-17-2000 07:36 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Hillarious!  

Denise
MagnoliaBlue
Member
since 05-12-2000
Posts 387


4 posted 07-17-2000 10:16 PM       View Profile for MagnoliaBlue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MagnoliaBlue

ROTFL....thanks a lot !!!

MagnoliaBlue


~My Skipper Jim
I love you!
Your Lady June~

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


5 posted 07-17-2000 11:20 PM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry

rofl......the air freshener one killed me!
One I had never heard   my nephew is 10, he
called me to let me know he had bought 100
blonde jokes from a friend so I had better
watch out  .....only $3 what a deal!!!!
Ruby dagger
Member
since 08-01-99
Posts 77
Wyoming, MN, U.S.A


6 posted 07-18-2000 12:57 AM       View Profile for Ruby dagger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ruby dagger

I love Blonde jokes, and I am Blonde! my fav joke is this:

Three blondes are on the beach, and they find a lamp. The decided to rub the lamp and POOF and Genie says, "I'll give you each one wish." The First blonde says, "I don't like that people think that blondes are like stupide, so I wanna be 10% smarter." POOF! She's a Brunette. The second Blonde says, "I don't like any of that stuff ether, but I don't wanna go that far, like ya know. So, I only wanna be 5% smarter." POOF! She's a red head. The third says, "I like all of the attention, I wanna be 10% dumber." POOF! She's a man.


Luv

Kelly

"At the right time and place, a question was more deadly than any sword." -Mercedes Lackey
 
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