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Let's pick on men instead of blondes" this time:
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Let's pick on men instead of blondes" this time: |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois 
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I just couldn't resist  What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell. Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract. (my favorite one!) How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook - they eat; we clean - they dirty; we iron -they wrinkle. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE, He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better. What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him. What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it. What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes. What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent man? Bigfoot has been spotted several times. What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..." Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece. Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts. Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I love the spider one!!  |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
LOL! Elizabeth Why ME??? |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent man? Bigfoot has been spotted several times LOVE it...superb...obviously a woman thought of this...  K |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Don't let Christopher read these... |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
ROFL @ NAN! (brat!) How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE, He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. Yep...that just about fits...  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
DOVEY!!!! I am shocked and appalled that you would stoop so low!! et tu, Severn??? I am wounded! You know, they call it mankind because men are such kind creatures but there could be retaliation on this one's mind........  |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Balladeer, You go get 'em. If you need me I'll be hiding behind Christopher  |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
 Balladeer! Bring it on! We could use a laugh around here You wouldn't retaliate against a dove now would ya |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh please 'deer...the injured look on you just doesn't work...lol... YOU deserve it, cause YOU haven't written for so long...this is Severny Payback... At least I have seen Big Foot recently... (hehehee) ) |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I saw some Deer prints......  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
***** The deer has responded ***** [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 07-28-2000).] |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
Haven't you all heard of the Women's movement? "Woman, put on somethin' cute and Move It into the kitchen." Everyone's got their demons. We all got somethin' to atone for. |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
quote: ROFLMAO Sounds too much like some one I know all too well! I think the two above came directly from my husband! ~Sheri |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oh yeah,Balladeer - Your 'kindness' is well-written in your madness of the past ! quote: From Open #6 as I recall - quote: Your manly kindness is overwhelming. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Gossamerwings Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 207 |
I have four brothers and love them all and have always had positive male relationships, but this is ROTF funny. Thanks for the great laughs.  Gossamerwings ;) |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Deer!!! Talking about appauled! You'd do that to a sweet lil' innocent dove? Well, hmmph! Thanks for pointing out that kind side of him Marge! |
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