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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704


0 posted 2000-08-14 07:17 AM


WARNING

THESE, none of them, should be funny - and for that reason alone, I find them all hysterical...

* What is white and fluffy and swings around a cake shop?
A meringue-otang

* What is red and not there?
No tomatoes (I warned you)

* What is blue and red and would really hurt if it fell on your head?
A brick wearing jeans (mmmmmmmmmmm....yes)

*What is white and can't climb trees?
A fridge (my personal absurdity fav)

*What is white and sits in a paddock?
A fridge on a picnic

*What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick (for you M)

*What has four legs, is brown and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A pool table (yeah - but how does it GET up there?)

*Why did the plane crash?
Because the pilot was a banana (Ok, even I find it hard to laugh at THAT)

*Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it darn well wanted to...

I will spare you anymore suffering....

K




"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn,
and remembered that it
was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From J

© Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

1 posted 2000-08-14 07:31 AM


Kamla, Dear wonderful Soul Sis

thanks for the Jokes, ahem, especially this one....

*What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick (for you M)

Just don't ask me to fetch it ok  lol

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 2000-08-14 07:36 AM


You wouldn't have to hon...

it wouldn't have gone anywhere..who on earth would throw a stick? You don't have a dog either...

lol

K

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2000-08-14 12:15 PM


Ok Kamla, I've got one for you!

Why is an orange???

Good luck!!!  

-----------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
4 posted 2000-08-14 12:19 PM


I will fetch it for you Maree----lol
Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
5 posted 2000-08-14 05:16 PM


JAMIE!!!  Down boyyyyyy !!  ...heh heh  

Maree I'LL fetch it for you, and i bet i can run faster than him...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

er..... LK ..when do the jokes start?

P

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
6 posted 2000-08-14 06:05 PM


Hehehe....Kamla, I don't know how you managed, but after reading I could feel my IQ drop a few digits.  

Hmmm...sooooo many guys wanna chase your stick.  Well, that is what dawgs are fer.  All you gotta do is holler FETCH!!!  


Alicat

X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
7 posted 2000-08-14 06:46 PM


Yanno in truth, we were out camping once and this little boy would NOT stop asking stupid questions like..."Why is that water?". "Why is that a tree?" and everytime he opened his mouth out popped one more absurd question. Finally when we could stand no more, he walked up to my husband's kayak and says, "Why is that a kayak?". My husband replied simply (and with a straight face) "Because it isn't an airplane."  The boy said ohh ok and smiled and went about his business, meanwhile we were all dying of laughter....I giggle still when I think of it, and it really wasn't that funny, and it was about 8 years ago! LOL some people are easily amused methinks!

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

8 posted 2000-08-14 06:50 PM


Why is an orange?....that is most philosophical Sven...I would have to reply that an orange is an orange because it is round and orange and therefore it becomes, under the great plan of the universe, an orange...yet while being in this state of orangehood occasionally an urge for said orange to break free of its genetic constraints emerges, and one can find, if one looks in the right places, that an orange - which is an orange by default of being an orange - has become instead an orange tinged with yellow...this form of mutiny is very rare and leads to...'HEY!'...~splutter...choke~ 'Kamla, give me back the keybo...'

Sorry everyone...my evil twin (the Severny One - 'deer knows her very well) kinda took over for awhile...

ahem

I am in a state of mystified-ness (anyone want to argue with the legitimacy of this word? If fridges can climb trees then by goodness...).

Look guys.

THERE IS NO STICK!!!!!

Seen The Matrix? The same concept. There is no stick...

I mean really...you COULD rescue me from a falling pool table...but no - M gets to have her imaginary stick brought back... ~sulk~  

Ali dear...these jokes are TOP class...truly they are...but rem - it's not MY stick oh no - it's Maree's...

Will anyone stop the pool table falling on my head? Anyone?

In keeping with stick's though:

*What's brown and sticky?
A stick....

yeah...




"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn,
and remembered that it
was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From J

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

9 posted 2000-08-14 06:53 PM


Heather you snuck in!

Hehe...poor kid...a young philosopher in the making...stumped with concrete answers...

LOLLOL!

K

"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn,
and remembered that it
was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From J

Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
10 posted 2000-08-14 07:13 PM


What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?

DAM.

I liked these--much better than the Laffy Taffy jokes my senior sociology teacher would tell us..hehehe.  

Elizabeth


Why ME???

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
11 posted 2000-08-14 09:17 PM


Well , If there were a stick--- I bet I could get there first,,,lol--- I may be old and decrepid but I have lost only a few steps during the process,,,( and i used to run a 4.3sec 40 in my youth)
Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
12 posted 2000-08-15 03:45 AM


Depends how far she could throw it James .. granted you'd have me over anything less than a mile ...LOL .. (but i hear M has a strong right arm...he heh  ...

P

just sorting the stick LK ... the pool table's next just hold it up a little longer!  

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
13 posted 2000-08-15 12:25 PM


Well Severn, I hate to tell you this. . . but here it is. . .

Why is an Orange?
Because Cows don't grow on trees. . .

I think that the Severny (shouln't that be "Severn-like"?)one will most enjoy this bit of philosophy!!!  

----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787
Aloha, Oregon
14 posted 2000-08-15 05:39 PM


I find these rather droll as well but at least it was a lift to an otherwise dull day. Some were at least worth a giggle or two.  

Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho



Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

15 posted 2000-08-15 06:33 PM


But...but...what about my cow-tree???

O M G!!!

You mean - it will never grow cows?? Never?????

That's it...I'm hunting down that salesman...I want my dosh back...

Wild Child...errrr, I suppose then that the ten minutes (this is true sadly) that my friend and I spent rolling around loling about the fridge jokes just seems absurd hey? HAHA...  

K


LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

16 posted 2000-08-15 09:18 PM


The saddest thing about this entire situation is that I find it hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!        

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
17 posted 2000-08-15 09:21 PM


I did too, just because they were so dumb you can't help but laugh at them!

Elizabeth


Why ME???

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
18 posted 2000-08-15 11:33 PM


my Severny one, you are a strange individual! A Stick????? ROFL!!!!!

Whaddaya call a dog with no legs?

Who cares! He ain't going to come anyway!

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
19 posted 2000-08-16 05:20 AM


HILARIOUS is too long a word to sustain this one... but this set is sure LAFFABLE  

to answer balladeer...

a dog without legs can be HANDIcapPED... well beware, he might just come around hopping on his HANDS then... and when he comes, it will be with a HANDS-FREE mobile fighting gear... a kungfu fighter or is it called KICKBOXING

I am going in the most abSURD TANGENTS now... and all thanks to you Kamla  

regards though,
sudhir

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
20 posted 2000-08-16 05:33 AM


Sorry 'bout the pool table thing K... I didn't realize it was you down there...   I was trying to get everyone who was after the stick...
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

21 posted 2000-08-16 06:56 AM


I'm off to report 'deer for cruelty to animals...it appalls me that humour can result from a reference to a poor legless dog...so legless it's down at the bar, drowning its sorrows..getting more and more legl...err yes...

As for you C...and that Sir P - just how long do you want me to hold this damn table up?

My perch isn't exactly comfortable you know...stuck up here - and it's cold at night

'Hurry it up would ya?' she whines...


sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
22 posted 2000-08-16 11:23 AM


The only thing I found hilarious, WAS THE WHOLE CONVERSATION!!!    ROTFL!!! (Well, if I wasn't in the Library, I would be   )


Anyway, I will take the pool table from you, Severn, and give M her stick back. Call of the boys, and have them fetch a bone instead..lol, J/K guys, I wouldn't do that  

stay cool

~~Lavada~~

"For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it
For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin



X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
23 posted 2000-08-16 01:12 PM


Hay ya'll ya wanna know where I got these shoes....?????

da da DUM


on my feet!

*drum roll* and she's outtaaaaa here!

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
24 posted 2000-08-16 02:08 PM


Hey, Kamla! Where does Hussein keep his armies???

In his sleevies!!!

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