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Passions in Poetry

OK OK - time for some non-gendered, non-colour specific DUMB, STUPID jokes.

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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


0 posted 08-14-2000 07:17 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

WARNING

THESE, none of them, should be funny - and for that reason alone, I find them all hysterical...

* What is white and fluffy and swings around a cake shop?
A meringue-otang

* What is red and not there?
No tomatoes (I warned you)

* What is blue and red and would really hurt if it fell on your head?
A brick wearing jeans (mmmmmmmmmmm....yes)

*What is white and can't climb trees?
A fridge (my personal absurdity fav)

*What is white and sits in a paddock?
A fridge on a picnic

*What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick (for you M)

*What has four legs, is brown and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A pool table (yeah - but how does it GET up there?)

*Why did the plane crash?
Because the pilot was a banana (Ok, even I find it hard to laugh at THAT)

*Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it darn well wanted to...

I will spare you anymore suffering....

K




"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn,
and remembered that it
was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From J
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


1 posted 08-14-2000 07:31 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Kamla, Dear wonderful Soul Sis

thanks for the Jokes, ahem, especially this one....

*What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick (for you M)

Just don't ask me to fetch it ok  lol
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


2 posted 08-14-2000 07:36 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

You wouldn't have to hon...

it wouldn't have gone anywhere..who on earth would throw a stick? You don't have a dog either...

lol

K
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


3 posted 08-14-2000 12:15 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Ok Kamla, I've got one for you!

Why is an orange???

Good luck!!!  

-----------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


4 posted 08-14-2000 12:19 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

I will fetch it for you Maree----lol
Poertree
Senior Member
since 11-05-1999
Posts 1413
UK


5 posted 08-14-2000 05:16 PM       View Profile for Poertree   Email Poertree   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poertree

JAMIE!!!  Down boyyyyyy !!  ...heh heh  

Maree I'LL fetch it for you, and i bet i can run faster than him...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

er..... LK ..when do the jokes start?

P
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


6 posted 08-14-2000 06:05 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Hehehe....Kamla, I don't know how you managed, but after reading I could feel my IQ drop a few digits.  

Hmmm...sooooo many guys wanna chase your stick.  Well, that is what dawgs are fer.  All you gotta do is holler FETCH!!!  


Alicat
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


7 posted 08-14-2000 06:46 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

Yanno in truth, we were out camping once and this little boy would NOT stop asking stupid questions like..."Why is that water?". "Why is that a tree?" and everytime he opened his mouth out popped one more absurd question. Finally when we could stand no more, he walked up to my husband's kayak and says, "Why is that a kayak?". My husband replied simply (and with a straight face) "Because it isn't an airplane."  The boy said ohh ok and smiled and went about his business, meanwhile we were all dying of laughter....I giggle still when I think of it, and it really wasn't that funny, and it was about 8 years ago! LOL some people are easily amused methinks!
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


8 posted 08-14-2000 06:50 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Why is an orange?....that is most philosophical Sven...I would have to reply that an orange is an orange because it is round and orange and therefore it becomes, under the great plan of the universe, an orange...yet while being in this state of orangehood occasionally an urge for said orange to break free of its genetic constraints emerges, and one can find, if one looks in the right places, that an orange - which is an orange by default of being an orange - has become instead an orange tinged with yellow...this form of mutiny is very rare and leads to...'HEY!'...~splutter...choke~ 'Kamla, give me back the keybo...'

Sorry everyone...my evil twin (the Severny One - 'deer knows her very well) kinda took over for awhile...

ahem

I am in a state of mystified-ness (anyone want to argue with the legitimacy of this word? If fridges can climb trees then by goodness...).

Look guys.

THERE IS NO STICK!!!!!

Seen The Matrix? The same concept. There is no stick...

I mean really...you COULD rescue me from a falling pool table...but no - M gets to have her imaginary stick brought back... ~sulk~  

Ali dear...these jokes are TOP class...truly they are...but rem - it's not MY stick oh no - it's Maree's...

Will anyone stop the pool table falling on my head? Anyone?

In keeping with stick's though:

*What's brown and sticky?
A stick....

yeah...




"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn,
and remembered that it
was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From J
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


9 posted 08-14-2000 06:53 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Heather you snuck in!

Hehe...poor kid...a young philosopher in the making...stumped with concrete answers...

LOLLOL!

K

"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn,
and remembered that it
was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From J
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


10 posted 08-14-2000 07:13 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?

DAM.

I liked these--much better than the Laffy Taffy jokes my senior sociology teacher would tell us..hehehe.  

Elizabeth


Why ME???
Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


11 posted 08-14-2000 09:17 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

Well , If there were a stick--- I bet I could get there first,,,lol--- I may be old and decrepid but I have lost only a few steps during the process,,,( and i used to run a 4.3sec 40 in my youth)
Poertree
Senior Member
since 11-05-1999
Posts 1413
UK


12 posted 08-15-2000 03:45 AM       View Profile for Poertree   Email Poertree   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poertree

Depends how far she could throw it James .. granted you'd have me over anything less than a mile ...LOL .. (but i hear M has a strong right arm...he heh  ...

P

just sorting the stick LK ... the pool table's next just hold it up a little longer!  
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


13 posted 08-15-2000 12:25 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Well Severn, I hate to tell you this. . . but here it is. . .

Why is an Orange?
Because Cows don't grow on trees. . .

I think that the Severny (shouln't that be "Severn-like"?)one will most enjoy this bit of philosophy!!!  

----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


14 posted 08-15-2000 05:39 PM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

I find these rather droll as well but at least it was a lift to an otherwise dull day. Some were at least worth a giggle or two.  

Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


15 posted 08-15-2000 06:33 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

But...but...what about my cow-tree???

O M G!!!

You mean - it will never grow cows?? Never?????

That's it...I'm hunting down that salesman...I want my dosh back...

Wild Child...errrr, I suppose then that the ten minutes (this is true sadly) that my friend and I spent rolling around loling about the fridge jokes just seems absurd hey? HAHA...  

K

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


16 posted 08-15-2000 09:18 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

The saddest thing about this entire situation is that I find it hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!        

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


17 posted 08-15-2000 09:21 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

I did too, just because they were so dumb you can't help but laugh at them!

Elizabeth


Why ME???
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


18 posted 08-15-2000 11:33 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

my Severny one, you are a strange individual! A Stick????? ROFL!!!!!

Whaddaya call a dog with no legs?

Who cares! He ain't going to come anyway!
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


19 posted 08-16-2000 05:20 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

HILARIOUS is too long a word to sustain this one... but this set is sure LAFFABLE  

to answer balladeer...

a dog without legs can be HANDIcapPED... well beware, he might just come around hopping on his HANDS then... and when he comes, it will be with a HANDS-FREE mobile fighting gear... a kungfu fighter or is it called KICKBOXING

I am going in the most abSURD TANGENTS now... and all thanks to you Kamla  

regards though,
sudhir
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


20 posted 08-16-2000 05:33 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Sorry 'bout the pool table thing K... I didn't realize it was you down there...   I was trying to get everyone who was after the stick...
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


21 posted 08-16-2000 06:56 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

I'm off to report 'deer for cruelty to animals...it appalls me that humour can result from a reference to a poor legless dog...so legless it's down at the bar, drowning its sorrows..getting more and more legl...err yes...

As for you C...and that Sir P - just how long do you want me to hold this damn table up?

My perch isn't exactly comfortable you know...stuck up here - and it's cold at night

'Hurry it up would ya?' she whines...

sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 12-03-1999
Posts 932
just about where I want to be


22 posted 08-16-2000 11:23 AM       View Profile for sweetcollege_girl   Email sweetcollege_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sweetcollege_girl

The only thing I found hilarious, WAS THE WHOLE CONVERSATION!!!    ROTFL!!! (Well, if I wasn't in the Library, I would be   )


Anyway, I will take the pool table from you, Severn, and give M her stick back. Call of the boys, and have them fetch a bone instead..lol, J/K guys, I wouldn't do that  

stay cool

~~Lavada~~

"For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it
For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin


X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


23 posted 08-16-2000 01:12 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

Hay ya'll ya wanna know where I got these shoes....?????

da da DUM


on my feet!

*drum roll* and she's outtaaaaa here!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


24 posted 08-16-2000 02:08 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Hey, Kamla! Where does Hussein keep his armies???

In his sleevies!!!
 
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