Serenity, could you also forward one to me as per Balladeer's requisition.
Also, you could always try to find that old children rhyme: 'Everybody hates me, nobody loves me, going to the garden to eat me some worms.'
Or, you could watch daytime talkshows and laugh your hiney off at people who are even sadder than Christopher.
Or, and this would greatly help statue cleaners, you could go and poison some pigeons in the park. I really don't think the Audubon would mind overly much. After all, if a pigeon didn't have wings, it'd be a lawyer.