Sitting in Michael's Lap
Who dragged up THIS dinosaur? LOL
Chris, unfortunately, the first step in having a cake requires some sort of cooking -- a skill that, with the exception of French toast, you lack.
May I just suggest you have your Burger King and eat it too? I hear they'll even make it Your Way, which you most likely won't get from life ...
YOUR LIFE IS A TEST
It is only a test ...
If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions!