»
Discussion
»
pipTalk Lounge
»
At the Crossroads....
| pipTalk Lounge |
|
At the Crossroads.... |
|
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Have you ever been at a point in your life where you have to choose which direction to take? Down the road on your left is one thing...down the right is another..straight ahead is what you've been doing for some time now. How do you choose which road to take? Is happiness, satisfaction and emotional well being as important or more important than money? How do you decide?  |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You can't put a price tag on happiness, satisfaction and emotional well being! Follow your heart!  Denise |
||
|
English Rose Member
since 2000-08-20
Posts 211Berkshire, England |
de Vine......I would give ANYTHING to have a choice again!!!! |
||
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
that is a very good question sharon, but i have to agree with denise...FOLLOW YOUR HEART |
||
|
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
yes... i am there... money means nothing nil zero /pip/Forum33/HTML/002337.html best answer i could give to the question is the poem i wrote the other day.. i don't know if that would help or not but ... life is short... too short... and i can't give an answer to your post here in the alley any better than i could with the words of the poem... ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a good apology and some decent poetry ~ |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I agree with Denise and Jeffrey. . . You have to. . . it's the only way. . . I've told you myself many times. . . you have to follow your heart. . . it knows the way. . . even when you don't. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all for your response..but what would YOU do...I'm asking a question....would you walk down the road knowing you would lose your house or car but find creative fulfillment? |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
If the practical life contributes nothing toward what Aristotle called the "final good" and the "supreme good"(happiness), then what "good" are they?. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
I can honestly say I would, because I did. Many of you already know this story, so I'll try to keep it short. I spent a decade and some change in the restaurant business and was bored to death. The only thing that made it even marginally tolerable was the free-lance writing I did for magazines during most of that lifetime. In a very indirect way, it was that writing that eventually got me out of a business I had learned to hate. In the early eighties, I decided I was tired of that typewriter crap and bought my first computer, a Texas Instruments 99/4a that hooked up to a black & white television set. I brought it home and started typing in my first article. Imagine my surprise to discover I needed software, too! To make a long story short, I decided to write my own word processor and turned into a computer nerd. Every magazine article I sold for the next two years was about computers. I eventually quit my job running an eight-unit restaurant chain in San Diego and went back to school for a year. I had some money saved, but not enough. The strain ended my marriage and ultimately cost me everything I had. My first computer job was at slightly less than half what I had been making in management (and still seemed lucrative after a year of starvation). But in spite of all that, I've never once regretted my decision. Following my dream cost me absolutely nothing that could not be replaced. I was lucky, I know. But I also firmly believe that financial success and happiness aren't mutually exclusive. If you can find something you love to do, you will make tons of money from it. If you can survive a year or more of starving. |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
PoetdeVine~ You originally asked - 1. Have you ever been at a point in your life where you have to choose which direction to take? Answer- Yes 2. Down the road on your left is one thing...down the right is another..straight ahead is what you've been doing for some time now. How do you choose which road to take? Answer -Sometimes by weighing the benefits of each path considerably. Sometimes by forging hopefully ahead in the new direction. 3. Is happiness, satisfaction and emotional well being as important or more important than money? Answer- As important 4. How do you decide? Answer- See answer to #2 _____________________________________________ Then you stated - 1. Thank you all for your response..but what would YOU do...I'm asking a question....would you walk down the road knowing you would lose your house or car but find creative fulfillment? Answer- The question changed. In knowing I would lose my home ... I doubt that I would take the path that would take me that far from something I love. But, I would sure think of some creative way to get there if it weighed out to be something I really needed to do. ~*Marge*~ |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Sharon ... a million dollar question. I struggle with this constantly. I don't have an answer, because I can't figure it out. I have my own business ... people rely on me ... depend on me, the money's fine ... but am I happy? Sigh .... That answer I do know, but my life is too entangled with responsibilities to follow "my" heart. Writing and posting here amongst this wonderful community is the closest I've come to following my dreams. |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Not allowed to drive right now (no, I am NOT a criminal lol - medical) So - no car to worry about. Don't own a house - shrug. I am young - I intend to use it. Hell yes Sharon. I will. I would. Life is for living. You need money to live yes. But not necessarily buckets and definitely not all the trappings of the traditional Western World life.  K |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
But not necessarily buckets and definitely not all the trappings of the traditional Western World life. Should you ever attain "buckets" I shall try to remind you of this statement...hehe....then maybe I can lower the level of the bucket... |
||
|
PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
I have been at these crossroads alot in the last 10 years or so. I have quit countless jobs in search of something elusive to chase down. When I left Oklahoma a year plus ago I justified it by saying the big tornado of '99 made up my mind but to be honest I was just sick of my life as I knew it. I was a deli manager in some small podunk town no one ever heard of and couldn't even be found on most maps. After 3 years of never quite fitting in I left, hopped on a bus, and went home to Boise. I was tired of my kids (who no longer needed me) tired of my husband (who always fought with the kids) and really tired of my job that was never going to see an advancement for the rest of my natural life. I let it all go and went to search for something different. I left it all behind, house, car, everything, and never regretted any of it, including the separation. Eventually the kids and husband found their way back into my life but now things have to be more fun and creative, and above all mellow. I can't stand the dullness of making money. I never wanted to be wealthy...just 'being' is good enough if you love what you do for a living. I have a great job that I love and my husband and I are closer than I thought possible and the kids realized what life without Mom was like and didn't care for it. I am glad the people in my life loved me enough to let me find a place for me and to me that is much more important than money. I lost it all, but I got back what was truly important. Everything else is just stuff and eventually most 'stuff' ends up being yard sale fodder so other people can gather stuff. When I die, I want people to say that I was worth the love they invested in 'me', not that they loved my stuff, or that I was a great money maker. Happiness, satisfaction, and well being gets my vote everytime. Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I guess you could say I've "been there and done that"... I've had to make decisions that would affect the entire course of my life - and my children's lives - when we had to face a future alone. My decisions would not only determine my future, but my daughters' as well.. That's a lot of responsibility. I had to choose where to live - what to do for work - and how to deal with life's all encompassing demands. I moved (out of choice) - I changed my career (out of necessity) - The one thing I never changed was that I had to consider my responsibility as a parent first. I've suffered many losses since, because of my "family first" attitude. I still feel the ramifications of those decisions (made many years ago)... But I can't say that I regret any of the choices I made. I guess that's the important part, is it not? |
||
|
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Sharon, I have to answer that question with a resounding YES I was at that crossroads just a few short months ago and I took that walk towards being happy rather than the one with all the...well, not money persay.....but unhappiness. And though I may be a little lonely for a while I am truly happy with the decision I made. |
||
|
Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
I tend to see work as a necessary evil, if you are using a job (that you don't enjoy) to further yourself towards your true passion. Would I give it up knowing that I would lose everything? Probably not... I'm a bit of a scaredy cat and have just become too used to a solid income. That being said, if you are caught in a career rut and hate what you are doing AND it is preventing you from ever obtaining your goals, then the answer is self evident. Choices are there to be made, as are sacrifices. If you are being held back, cut the ties that bind and pour everything you have into your happiness. That is where I really agree with Ron. If you truly love what you are doing and work very hard at it, the rewards will come. |
||
|
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Oh Sharon.. the story of my life! I know that I'm still young, and that some of you may think that my "big" decisions are far in the future. Not true. I am currently making a choice myself. Should I go to 8 years of school (a free ride, at that) to be a veterinarian, or should I go with my heart and persue a writing career. If it was only the question of my source of income, writing would win, hands on. (Especally if I wrote like you, Sharon) But it's more complicated than that. I have a lot of things riding on this. I would be the first one in my family to recieve my doctorate... and (if my older sister contenues on her current path) I may be the first to graduate from college. I could never disappoint my family like that. So, I'll probably contenue on my current path. Sharon, my advice to you is to persue a writing career. You defiently have the talent, and I think you have the fire to work for what you want and make yourself great. We'll be behind you all the way. If you need to talk, feel free to e-mail me weirdbeetlelady@forpresident.com < !signature--> If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a diffrent drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away-Thoreau [This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 09-10-2000).] |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sharon, leave it to you to ask timely questions not only for yourself, but most everyone else! I've had that "crossroads" feeling recently...but right now it is more in line of having too much on my plate, or not keeping myself busy enough?! What are my limits?! Have I reached any success at anything I've put my hand to? And lately, one of the biggest questions in my mind has been: am I making a difference in anyone's life...have I touched anyone...and if they know me, have I brought something to their life? So, I'm not going to change my job, no matter that it gets stressful now and then, because I love being a paralegal! I admire and respect my primary attorney and I think I will work with with my secondary attorney. I'm not going to move, because I enjoy my location: travel, yes...that will get me where I want to visit, and I will always have a haven to come back to when the traveling is over. I guess my biggest question for myself is: should I continue to try and spread my wings in writing? All of the people who read my work here have been generous and kind to a fault...so I guess my next challenge is to put more into Critical Analysis and let my stuff be truly analyzed, for those that do same, do it well... and if someday I become a bona fide poet/author...will it be good enough to take on the road? See? All these dreams...only a set amount of days left...the cross-roads I am at is querying whether or not I have the time and energy left to do all of the things I want to do. Thanks, Ron...for giving us ALL here a place to experiment in the art of spreading our wings... and Sharon, thanks for this arena to put my mind out there and thereby answering some of my own questions... |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Yes. . . If you don't love (or at least like) what you're doing. . . it's not worth it. . . you have to love what you're doing. . . it has to fulfill you. . . or it's not worth it. . . Sorry, don't mean to sound like a broken record, but it's just how it is. If you want to follow your dreams, if you want to be happy, you have to make sacrifices. . . to be a writer (or any kind of artist), you have to make sacrifices. . . you must give all to that dream. . . not just part, not just what you can afford to give, but ALL. You must work, and practice, and hone, and build, and give your soul to it. You must know that it won't be easy, there WILL be failure. . . how will you take it? Will you let it knock you down? Will you let it get the best of you? Will you let it win? If you can answer "NO". . . then maybe you have what it takes. If your answer is "YES". . . then maybe you're following the wrong dream. Now, for some, writing is a hobby. . . but for some, it's a way of life. . . it's a way that they want to know. . . that they want to follow. . . if it's what you want to do, if it's what you were meant to do. . . you'll know. . . you'll know it in your heart. . . which takes me back to my original answer to this question. . . FOLLOW YOUR HEART. . . ----------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Gawd, did you write this for me? LOL I'm at that crossroad. Don't know which way to go, don't know what my heart is telling me to do, but moving forward anyway. I figure whatever it is God has planned for me it will work or not according to Him. Will let ya know this week, what's gonna happen  |
||
|
X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
uhm wow....someone very close to me just a few days ago told me to always always follow my heart and I will never go wrong. *sigh* And for the first time in my life, I am following my heart..... It's awesome. I am poor, afraid, etc etc but it IS fun. Life IS an adventure!  ~H PS Sharon, I would and am risking all to follow my heart, life is too damn short to wait for my happiness to come a-knockin... |
||
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Well I would love to be able to say that I take the logical approach, carefully weighing the pros and cons of each course before deciding, but the truth is that my decision-making process is more like a game of darts than anything else -- just close your eyes and toss it, and hope it hits the board somewhere ... Of course, I have spent many years regretting and/or paying for the results of this asenine procedure, but what can I say? Old habits die hard! (shrug) --Me YOUR LIFE IS A TEST It is only a test ... If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions! |
||
|
Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
yes, I too have been at that crossroad. The road straight ahead would have been "my choice", as I had in the perfect job, perfect personal life and the money was there. I was faced with a decision to quit that perfect job and take care of my ailing Mother or continue working and do the best I could for her........I quit that perfect job. I no longer drive the luxary cars or dress with fashion but I certainly can hold my head high, knowing I made the right decision. One of the best decisions I ever made, especially when I lost her. My choices were very limited as I was her only caregiver. Marcy |
||
|
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
You mean I have a choice? Seriously...this would never be a difficult decision for me. THINGS dont mean anything to me. Oh yeah sure I have stuff, but so what? Whats a house without love? Whats money if theres no one to spend it with? Give up everything I see around me to follow my heart to the man I love? YOU BET. Theres not a doubt in my mind that he is worth everything I own. I would rather be broke and in his arms than have all this stuff I can see here right now. |
||
|
Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Wow Sharon, good question. There are so many things I want out of life. I'd like more toys, more free time, more money and of course feeling comfortable enough to buy something when I want with out worry. But I also want happiness, security, love and to be emotionally stable. I guess there is a fine line there, and it all depends each situation. I think I'd have to choose emotional well being, happiness, love etc. Bottom line is, money would be great, but I say go for what you know you can hang on to and what will truly make you happy. For some, that might be money, others might not. ~Sheri |
||
|
JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
"Have you ever been at a point in your life where you have to choose which direction to take? Down the road on your left is one thing...down the right is another..straight ahead is what you've been doing for some time now. How do you choose which road to take? Is happiness, satisfaction and emotional well being as important or more important than money? How do you decide?" I've been on that road, seen that fork (a couple of times actually) and have the decision made for me pretty easily "What is the best thing for the wife and kids?" Often the best thing at the time has turned out to be the wrong thing in the long term, leading to another decision, and the same question "What is the best thing for the wife and kids?" It is interesting to live your life this way, constant subjugation of your own dreams and desires for the good of your family... one would think that time would see bitterness and death of the heart... perhaps in some... but my road is not an endless one. I walk a finite path and (kinda like driving your car on empty with no gas station in sight. You don't know exactly when the ride will end, but you know it will be soon) can look down that path and see the glory of the decisions I make. The life my wife and children will have when I am gone. The ability to live comfortably, if not luxuriously. The opportunities for education which many will not have, and the memories of a father who did what he did for them, to give them a decent life. The path you choose has got to be the path of your heart, but make damned sure your mind can see the logic of your heart's decision, less it all be in vain.  Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway |
||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Ya know what? After thinking this over here, I've come to this conclusion... If you're in a situation where you're really not happy with what you're doing, then what good is the money? If you're miserable, it can cause health problems, and if you're not feeling good, and depressed, then you're not well enough to use that money anyway. So is emotional well being just as important? I'd say it's probably more important! Better to be happy and make less at a job, than to have money and be miserable. I always say, "I'd rather be poor and happy, than rich and miserable!" You only have one life, why spend it being miserable? Who says you can't do what makes you happy and make money at it too? It's also easy for everyone else to give advice in another's life. Ultimately that decision is up to the individual. Be happy life is short. |
||
|
juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
[This message has been edited by juliet_2u (edited 09-14-2000).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
