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Passions in Poetry

Would you? or not.....

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WhtDove
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0 posted 09-24-2000 12:03 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

If you really liked someone, and they didn't know, should you take the chance and tell them?  Or would you forever wonder what if?


Poet deVine
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1 posted 09-24-2000 12:07 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I would never say anything out of fear of rejection. But lately, I've felt that I need to be more assertive. So maybe I should! Hmmmmm

I guess some guy out there will be getting an email from me soon.  
WhtDove
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2 posted 09-24-2000 12:15 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

LOL WOOHOO!! Yes, you are coming forward Sharon! Go for it with gusto my friend!
Hey, at least you tried right??  
~Woooooooohoo~


CocoBaci
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3 posted 09-24-2000 12:31 AM       View Profile for CocoBaci   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CocoBaci


hi WHTDOVE
I would without hesitation let them know...

Coco


[This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 09-24-2000).]
Alwye
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4 posted 09-24-2000 01:03 AM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

I'd do it in a heart beat (and I have several times)....what do you have to loose? An embarassing moment maybe, but that's all...it's definitely worth it if there's any possibility for you to be with that person. Good luck!  

*Krista Knutson*

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucious
JP
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5 posted 09-24-2000 02:26 AM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

I'd keep it to myself, suck it up and be miserable for the rest of my freeking life... but hey, that's just me....


Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so.
B. Russell
Ron
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6 posted 09-24-2000 03:28 AM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Like so many things - it depends.

I don't think I have ever been seriously interested in someone and managed to keep my mouth shut. Well, not since third grade anyway. Still, there have been many, many instances where I "thought" there were possibilities but never pursued them, and I suspect that's especially true in the past ten or fifteen years. There was a time when I thought love was enough to sustain a relationship and was willing to gamble on that premise. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I've since come to realize that love is only the starting line to a very long journey and I have to know someone really well before opening my mouth and admitting a serious interest.

To put it another way, I think a deep friendship is a prerequisite to a relationship, at least for me. That means spending time together, just doing the things friends enjoy doing, without the pressures of what "might" happen somewhere down the line. If the friendship is based on expectations of more than friendship then it won't last. And neither would the relationship.

There are, I think, two really great things about this approach. First, even if a romance doesn't develop naturally, you can end up with a wonderful friend. Second, when the time is right, there need be no fear or trepidation over voicing your feelings. Good friends, after all, can talk about anything.  
Nan
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7 posted 09-24-2000 08:11 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

If "love" is going to develop between two friends, time will ensure its happening.  Two people who spend time together doing things they both enjoy will know when the time is right - when both are totally comfortable ...

True friendship does, in fact, know its own intrinsic bound/Its pinnacle's a covenant unfound... Who was it that said that anyway?

Remember when Harry met Sally?  They met accidently - three times - over the course of 12 1/2 years..... All the while they allowed their friendship to grow deeper and their bond to grow stronger.  Finally they realized that they really were ever-dearest friends who actually loved each other.  I'm sure they're still together to this day, don'tcha think??

I believe in taking the time to allow that bond to grow as well.. I do, of course, think that spending time together is crucial - and I think that Harry and Sally could have managed the same outcome in a lot less time than they spent. I mean - really - A decade? That's a pretty long time - Perhaps a bit more open communication is what they needed...  
Poet deVine
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8 posted 09-24-2000 10:00 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I agree that the best relationships start with friendship. And I think the movie Nan refers to does show the evolution of a hate/friendship/love relationship. But that wasn't really the question.

Would you speak up? If you met someone and really liked them, would you tell them? How could a relationship develop if one person sat there mute while the other one went along never knowing? Who takes the first step? This is probably a generational thing, I was raised to thing ladies didn't 'go after' a guy!  

And another thing! (came back to edit this with another brilliant thought) which I then decided wasn't so brilliant so I deleted it.  


[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 09-24-2000).]
WhtDove
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9 posted 09-24-2000 10:32 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Ron I agree that a good friendship, relationship is a solid foundation to start on.

I think many go wrong when they jump because of what they see, and in turn it's infatuation. That won't last long. I agree that having a deep friendship is a good thing. What better thing to have, than to have a partner (if it works), to be your best friend. And yes, of course,to have a great friendship if things don't go in that direction.

Now, I'm gonna give you something to think about here. For instance, this happened to me.  Is there a line when that friendship goes to far into friendship that it can't turn into anything more???

I had a friend, who was a guy, his name was Mike. And we talked, he was always there for me. He was my best friend!! We hung around for many years...now after so many years, this guy became like a brother to me. We were so close.  He never let it be known, that he thought of me in any other way, but a friend.

I was in one bad relationship after the other, and even set him up with someone.
(that didn't last too long)...but years later, he did mention how upset he was. That he saw me go through these relationships, and would have never treated me with anything but the utmost respect. I know he would have treated me well. The thing is, had I known maybe sometime earlier that this feeling was there, I might have looked at it differently.  

There was something about it when I found out, that he was just way too close, like I said a brother, to think about having any relationship other than friendship.  I miss him dearly, and haven't spoken to him in many years. (it's not because of that)

He moved, and I lost touch with him.

So other than building a close relationship, don't you think it should be known that you like this person?  I mean LIKE, not love....

Get what I'm saying? I mean to start out on frienship and really get to know each other, is GREAT, but I mean a while after that, don't you think something should be said?

Or do you think that no matter how that friendship goes, there still could be romance there?  Just my thoughts here, as screwed up as they are LOL  

(of course y'all, this question don't apply to me, it's hypothetical)

JP, I'm sure the point would come across if I liked someone...but I'd probably do the same thing. I wouldn't come out and say it, but forever hold my piece.  I don't have to worry about that now, cause I have a hubby...
Sunshine
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10 posted 09-24-2000 12:20 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Y'know, thought I was eating crackers, saw the original post on "like" and it quickly [whew...] moved into "love"...

and I thought "what the heck happened to like?"  Yikes!

For numerous reasons, and obviously this being a Karilea-type fluke, I make it a point that when I am very comfortable with someone, I do indeed let them know that I like them.  As a friend, mentor, confidant, because of their wit, humor, steadfastness, loyalty, spirit...whatever reason stands out, I try to point that out as meaning something special to me. [No, my name still isn't Pollyanna...]  But that's my nature! Why NOT tell people the good things about them, what makes them spark and shine and so uniquely special to you? Heaven knows there are enough folk out there bringing others down...sometimes the word "like" makes all the difference in the world.

Great question Rebecca.  Will check back in to see more responses...

Karilea
When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ

serenity blaze
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11 posted 09-24-2000 12:43 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Of course you should tell them.  It's love.
Spread it around.  Scream it from the mountain tops.  Dive naked into the ocean.
And yes, you may cry later.  But you were probably going to anyway.
brian madden
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12 posted 09-24-2000 12:58 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

It depends.... in a nightclub I just can't get talking to people. I am the kind of person that needs an intimate setting, talking a few times getting to know them and then slowly moving in...though I am probably way too subtle and careful. I should take more risks but I am in that natural progression thing, letting it happen in that moment and I have been waiting a long time for that right moment... So I say go for it, if you feel right about it test them a bit see how they react then go for it. Best of luck.

"an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree
the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women".
Patti Smith
Rex
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13 posted 09-24-2000 12:59 PM       View Profile for Rex   Email Rex   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex's Home Page   View IP for Rex

Absolutely, but not directly....there are many ways to let someone know you are interested.  Ah! Now for the other side of the coin...as contrasted to those of you who opt for the cautious approach.

I met a lady for the first time on March 15th.  We had our first date (lunch)(we worked at the same place) on May 10th.  We were engaged on May 15th.  We were married on July 29th.  We celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary this past July 29th. I think it might just work out!

WhtDove
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14 posted 09-24-2000 10:40 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Ok all, this is just a question!

I am asking it hypothetically!

And like Karilea pointed out, I said LIKE not LOVE.

Brian, a nightclub is just not the kind of place I would like to meet people IF I were meeting them.  Been through that scene.  I mean even let it speak by your actions you know? I mean a gesture or something that you like them? Do you tell them that way?

Karen ROFL!!  LIKE girl NOT love, like! LOL

Rex, that's remarkable how that turned out!
Sometimes it just does that. Congrats on so many years!    
serenity blaze
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15 posted 09-24-2000 11:50 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Sorry, Dovie...LOL...when I LIKE--I LOVE...

love YOU!!!
Temptress
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16 posted 09-25-2000 12:20 AM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

Hmm..I'll assume you mean more than just guy vs girl like?

Friendship: I am normally shy at making new friends.  I could kick myself over the number of close acquaintences that could have been lasting friendships if not for my reserved demeanor with new people.  It isn't that I don't like them. Its just that the first time I was seriously wounded by a backstabbing "new" friend was the last as far as I was concerned.  I know..I know..Not all of them will treat me that way, but I'm still very careful, and very shy when it comes to something like inviting them over or spending leisure time with them.  

Anything that might possibly be beyond friendship kind of like:
Yes, I think now that I am a little older, I could do that for myself. I could let them know.  One thing I'd like to ask though is if you "liked" someone in a possibly more progressive way and it wasn't possible (insert reasons here), would you tell them (in the honor of being honest), or keep it to yourself?
WhtDove
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17 posted 09-25-2000 01:23 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Nope, I did mean boy/girl...going out, dating, liking, that kind of stuff.


Temptress, I guess what I mean to say here, (pardon me all), is if you liked someone, and that someone I guess would have possibilities of growing into a love.

You know, you see someone you like, or sort of know someone you like, you don't know them well enough to love them, but you would certainly like to get to know them better, would you say something? Would you tell that someone you liked them? Wanted a relationship to get to know eachother better?

You raise a good question at the end there. I guess it depends upon the circumstance of why it's not possible! Is it not possible because that other person is married or something like that, then it wouldn't really be worth saying it. I'm not sure, there could be so many reasons, so I have to say it just depends.

You know I understand about the friendship thing. I'm shy too when it comes to that, a lot of times others view it as being stuck-up? I guess, I don't know.  I like to believe I'm a good hearted person, and for that reason, I tend to get walked on a lot.
Though I've gotten better at voicing things, and came to a point where, if they're your true friends, and you voice something you don't like, they'll still be there. If they're not, then they weren't really true to begin with!

Hugs to ya! It happens, and that's a drag, but you'll learn. If you ever wanna talk, I'm here ok?  

Temptress
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18 posted 09-25-2000 07:23 PM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

One note here...
No matter if it is possible or not, I believe NOTHING is wasted when someone is honest enough to speak their true feelings about it. Even if not possible, at least its out there and dealt with in one way or another. No admittance of the heart is ever a worthless effort in my opinion. It could cause a number of different things, but it is never a waste.   Hey..did I say it wasn't a waste yet? LOL! Sorry for repeating myself. Laters and thanks for the offer.  


My name isn't  Baby, and I don't want to cyber.

[This message has been edited by Temptress (edited 09-25-2000).]
Sven
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19 posted 09-25-2000 08:14 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

YES!!!!!

Life is too short. . . and if you don't. . . how will you know??  You'll torture yourself forever about it. . . (and write really yearning poetry!!)

I have to agree with Karilea. . . why not tell them??

And I also agree with serenity, but not totally. . . you don't know if you're going to cry anyway. . . but that's the chance. . .

and deVine. . . I didn't get that e-mail!!  LOL  

----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

doreen peri
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20 posted 09-26-2000 09:23 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

is it "like"?
is it "love"?
is it "infatuation"?

well, who cares, basically.

the deal is this... in my humble opinion, i can only answer you as to what i would do.... in ANY of the above circumstances.

life is short. it's frigging short. too too too short. and i say, "like" "love" and "infatuation" and all that good stuff are all VERY good words for people caring for each other.

ok, now for the philosophy of it. let's say you "like" someone... to use rebecca's word... what do you do? to you fess up? hide it? pretend you don't? give hints? maybe you could play tag or hide and seek or chess or something and the feelings would just seep through somehow... but in the meantime, do you make sure you don't actually come out and say it because .... it would be embarrassing if you got rejected? or because... hmmmm... what could happen.... maybe your heart would be exposed and you'd actually be taking a risk.... Well then, that would be, lemme see... a gamble. Yes. a gamble.

so... on the other hand, you could speak it. Say it. under no uncertain terms. you could even actually.... (watch out now boys and girls)... SAY that you were nervous about exposing your emotions and your feelings for this "friend" or ... hehe... possible future... companion... or just someone you "like".... well, what would happen then? geez... he or she could reject you, sure. he or she could put you on "hold" and MAYBE get back to you.... OR... he or she could answer,

"cool!!! guess what? i LIKE you, too!



and then... hehe...   ... you might actually HAVE a LIFE and a RELATIONSHIP with someone... OR..... not...

so... what's my answer?

there is no debate.

speak your heart

... take the consequences and the risk... because... life is short... tooo tooo too frigging short... and there are hundreds of thousands of us and we all want/need/DESERVE to be loved and

LIKED


                

~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry ~

doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
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Posts 8028
Virginia


21 posted 09-26-2000 09:34 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

One more thing....

let's just say... that you....

don't say anything !



what happens then? I mean, let's just say... for just a minute.. that this particular person... and you... would be GREAT together... a VERY good match as people who "LIKE" each other or... (hmmmm.... "love" each other") hehe... but... you didn't say anything and so that person thinks... "well... geez... he/she doesn't LIKE me" because it wasn't verbalized.... well,

WHAT THEN?



*g... i truly truly think that what then could be the possibility of the companionship or friendship or LOVING relationship....

missed.... *tears



and what would you say if later... much much later,

WHEN IT WAS WAYYYYY TOO LATE....

because he or she had already hooked up with someone else or

DIED

or something and...you found out that... he/she...actually felt the same way you did but neither verbalized it or expressed it in any way...???

i think you would feel....

                          

ok, i'm done

aren't you guys glad i verbalized all this??? hehe *wink*

oh, and guess what???

I LOVE YOU POETPEOPLE



life is short... enjoy  

[This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 09-26-2000).]
Nan
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22 posted 09-26-2000 09:41 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Hm.... Weren't you going somewhere, Doreen? Oh - I see you're back already... I sure am glad - It was really quiet around here without you...

So - All you turtles should be coming out of your shells now, eh???

doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


23 posted 09-26-2000 09:45 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

hehe... whoops! am i still here?    
Sunshine
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24 posted 09-26-2000 09:50 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Conversation was way too good to let it go...

thanks, Rebecca...just got new glasses and thought I needed a refund...

suffice to say...when I like someone, I tell 'em...and when I love them, they know that, too...

as Doreen says...life is way, way too too short...and I'd rather know that someone could make me cry, as opposed to not having said what was on my mind...[sure signs that I'm getting old....]
 
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