Philip, I've been thinking too...and it's okay. You see, I got an e mail yesterday from someone who shall remain anonymous, so for the purpose of this post, I shall call them, Anon. Anon stated that I was remiss throughout this entire thread, as I was asking of the forum what I could not seem to produce myself. Anon was referring to my on-going battle with chemical dependance. Now I'm not even sure if that is a proper term--some days it is more like a love affair than a battle. But I did think about it, Anon, and while my starting post did not ask for ALL of one's guilty pleasures, I agree that in the spirit of honest self-inventory, I would indeed be remiss if I did not at least mention it. So, Guilty? ABSOLUTELY. I confess. I am thirty-nine years old. I started getting high when I was nine. That's thirty years of self-delusion. I was molested at age seven by a neighborhood boy. (teen-ager, actually) I was his continued sexual experiment for two years, until he finally moved away. Ironically enough, I started "using" at that time, and never stopped. But I am confused at this point as to whether or not I can consider this "pleasure". Perhaps it is the absence of pain that I mistook for pleasure. There are days when I wake up, and I am shaking like a chihuahua. (Like right now--smile with me, please.) Maybe this is more of a debate for the philosophy forum--I have described it to another friend as being as natural to me as reaching for a warm blanket when I'm cold. But I'm unsure as to whether that can be construed as "pleasure". I did not begin this odyssey to feel good, I began with the desire to feel NOTHING. So for what it's worth, Anon, here is your reply.
Perhaps it is a guilty pleasure of yours to watch me running naked through the forum. I'll leave that one for YOU to think about. So on that note, I'll close this wordy business by stating it was never my intention to cause anyone any pain. This was all done in a spirit of "fun", but I thank you for the "think"--and to the rest of the forum may I add my gratitude, and a bit of advice? Don't be too hard on yourselves. It is my humble opinion (of course) that if any of us were perfect we would not be here. So hugs to all, and have a peaceful Sunday--and brrr---it's a bit cold in here...grin. Just kidding people.