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RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom

0 posted 2000-10-23 06:12 PM


The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".  Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.  Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k".  Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typerwriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replace by "f".  This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.  Govemments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.  After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli snsibl riten styl.  Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.  Ze drem vil finali kum tru.


[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 10-23-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Cindy Jones - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
1 posted 2000-10-23 06:42 PM


LOL! This was hilarious!

Elizabeth


You cling to your ways and leave mine to me.
Suum cuique.
~Elizabeth



Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
2 posted 2000-10-23 07:29 PM


FABULOUS!  This is great! Sounds like something out of the book by George Orwell,"1984".
Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
3 posted 2000-10-23 07:46 PM


"During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.  After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli snsibl riten styl.  Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.  Ze drem vil finali kum tru."

LOL!
This sounds suspiciously like German to me!
Dee

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2000-10-23 08:05 PM


Esperanto???



This was too funny RG!!

-----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
5 posted 2000-10-23 08:56 PM


Sven: ROFLAMO !!!  I took Esperanto in preference to French and German when I was 14....oh my.....that took me back and makes as much sense now as it did then...*g*


Glad you all enjoyed, it still makes me laugh but heck, we have to be one of the most friendliest nations yet the most complicated to talk to - by far...well, in writing that is..*g*

HUGS

[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 10-23-2000).]

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
6 posted 2000-10-23 09:55 PM


This is absolutely hysterical...  Perhaps we should actually begin with German and adapt it accordingly...
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

7 posted 2000-10-24 06:12 AM


ROLLING HERE...oh so rolling..

K

sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
8 posted 2000-10-24 10:00 AM


Zis vas very funy, RG! He he! ROFLMAO!!!

~*~SCG~*~

Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
9 posted 2000-10-24 12:55 PM


hey cindy ..did you do that all by yer'self ????!!!!.. very very funny ...LMAO   ..... there has to be a comic poem in it, doesn't there?

P

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

10 posted 2000-10-24 06:42 PM


ROFL   Absolutely hysterical, Cindy!

Denise

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
11 posted 2000-10-24 08:26 PM


No Philp...(oooops.can't remember if it's one i or one l..*g*...LOL)...I had help, namely the author...seriously, it's one of those  things I read long ago and now use as an ice breaker on training sessions...many times I'm asked how does one write a manual for software so ...I give them this and ask them to correct the errors....ROFL

HUSG

ps: You should see what I got back...*g*...and thinking on that subject...a few years ago a female frind of mine, high powered, career orientated lady was conducting a seminar.  As always she arrived early to ensure everything was to her liking, this was in Tokyo and the clients were all Japenese men....Exactly on schedule she stood up, bowed her head in honour of their customs and started to talk...they however had different ideas and continued to talk amongst themesleves so she sat down and went through her papers...some 15 minutes later after 5 minutes of total silence, one of the gentlemen asked her if she was ready to start...you know that weird silence? Well she let it stay that way and looked at each of them in turn, full eye contact with each...then finally, she stood up and said soemthing like - Gentlemen, my time is valuable and I presume you came here to learn something, if you feel that you now know everything, please leave quietly and I will start the seminar...thank you.   She was 18....wow!  But, not one single man left...as she told me, you have to control a situation or let *it* control you....something that stayed with me and I believe pays off...specially when training *men*...ooops...*g*



[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 10-24-2000).]

Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
12 posted 2000-10-25 05:52 AM


er........"yes Mistress" ...
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2000-10-25 11:05 AM


Tokay!  ROTFLMAO  I rec'mnd shthnd r pig latin...

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ



Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
14 posted 2000-10-25 04:59 PM


this really lightened up my day


"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
15 posted 2000-10-25 06:43 PM


Sowndz lik a veddy gutt plin 2 mi!
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

16 posted 2000-10-25 08:33 PM


That's just funny! LOL!!!!!!!!
      

False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference.



RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
17 posted 2000-10-25 09:21 PM


Hey Phip *g*...Watch it, or I'll have no alternative but to get out my whip ....and then what will Rebel's psycology be?

No worries, I only meant the walnut one...LOL

Glad this brought a little laughter to all who read...

HUGS


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