How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Discussion
 pipTalk Lounge
 English we can all understand...ROFL
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Ron   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

English we can all understand...ROFL

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


0 posted 10-23-2000 06:12 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".  Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.  Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k".  Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typerwriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replace by "f".  This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.  Govemments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.  After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli snsibl riten styl.  Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.  Ze drem vil finali kum tru.


[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 10-23-2000).]
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


1 posted 10-23-2000 06:42 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

LOL! This was hilarious!

Elizabeth


You cling to your ways and leave mine to me.
Suum cuique.
~Elizabeth


Romy
Senior Member
since 05-28-2000
Posts 1226
Plantation, Florida


2 posted 10-23-2000 07:29 PM       View Profile for Romy   Email Romy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Romy

FABULOUS!  This is great! Sounds like something out of the book by George Orwell,"1984".
Dee
Member Elite
since 08-19-2000
Posts 2361
Queensland, Australia


3 posted 10-23-2000 07:46 PM       View Profile for Dee   Email Dee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dee

"During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.  After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli snsibl riten styl.  Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.  Ze drem vil finali kum tru."

LOL!
This sounds suspiciously like German to me!
Dee
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


4 posted 10-23-2000 08:05 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Esperanto???



This was too funny RG!!

-----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


5 posted 10-23-2000 08:56 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Sven: ROFLAMO !!!  I took Esperanto in preference to French and German when I was 14....oh my.....that took me back and makes as much sense now as it did then...*g*


Glad you all enjoyed, it still makes me laugh but heck, we have to be one of the most friendliest nations yet the most complicated to talk to - by far...well, in writing that is..*g*

HUGS

[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 10-23-2000).]
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


6 posted 10-23-2000 09:55 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

This is absolutely hysterical...  Perhaps we should actually begin with German and adapt it accordingly...
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


7 posted 10-24-2000 06:12 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

ROLLING HERE...oh so rolling..

K
sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 12-03-1999
Posts 932
just about where I want to be


8 posted 10-24-2000 10:00 AM       View Profile for sweetcollege_girl   Email sweetcollege_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sweetcollege_girl

Zis vas very funy, RG! He he! ROFLMAO!!!

~*~SCG~*~
Poertree
Senior Member
since 11-05-1999
Posts 1413
UK


9 posted 10-24-2000 12:55 PM       View Profile for Poertree   Email Poertree   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poertree

hey cindy ..did you do that all by yer'self ????!!!!.. very very funny ...LMAO   ..... there has to be a comic poem in it, doesn't there?

P
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


10 posted 10-24-2000 06:42 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

ROFL   Absolutely hysterical, Cindy!

Denise
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


11 posted 10-24-2000 08:26 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

No Philp...(oooops.can't remember if it's one i or one l..*g*...LOL)...I had help, namely the author...seriously, it's one of those  things I read long ago and now use as an ice breaker on training sessions...many times I'm asked how does one write a manual for software so ...I give them this and ask them to correct the errors....ROFL

HUSG

ps: You should see what I got back...*g*...and thinking on that subject...a few years ago a female frind of mine, high powered, career orientated lady was conducting a seminar.  As always she arrived early to ensure everything was to her liking, this was in Tokyo and the clients were all Japenese men....Exactly on schedule she stood up, bowed her head in honour of their customs and started to talk...they however had different ideas and continued to talk amongst themesleves so she sat down and went through her papers...some 15 minutes later after 5 minutes of total silence, one of the gentlemen asked her if she was ready to start...you know that weird silence? Well she let it stay that way and looked at each of them in turn, full eye contact with each...then finally, she stood up and said soemthing like - Gentlemen, my time is valuable and I presume you came here to learn something, if you feel that you now know everything, please leave quietly and I will start the seminar...thank you.   She was 18....wow!  But, not one single man left...as she told me, you have to control a situation or let *it* control you....something that stayed with me and I believe pays off...specially when training *men*...ooops...*g*



[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 10-24-2000).]
Poertree
Senior Member
since 11-05-1999
Posts 1413
UK


12 posted 10-25-2000 05:52 AM       View Profile for Poertree   Email Poertree   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poertree

er........"yes Mistress" ...
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


13 posted 10-25-2000 11:05 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Tokay!  ROTFLMAO  I rec'mnd shthnd r pig latin...

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 08-05-2000
Posts 3939
On the streets w/ people


14 posted 10-25-2000 04:59 PM       View Profile for Lakewalker   Email Lakewalker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lakewalker

this really lightened up my day


"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


15 posted 10-25-2000 06:43 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Sowndz lik a veddy gutt plin 2 mi!
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


16 posted 10-25-2000 08:33 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

That's just funny! LOL!!!!!!!!
      

False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference.


RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


17 posted 10-25-2000 09:21 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Hey Phip *g*...Watch it, or I'll have no alternative but to get out my whip ....and then what will Rebel's psycology be?

No worries, I only meant the walnut one...LOL

Glad this brought a little laughter to all who read...

HUGS

 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Discussion >> pipTalk Lounge >> English we can all understand...ROFL Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors