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Passions in Poetry

Paradise (a nicer version without the profanity :) )

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Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


0 posted 12-07-2000 12:06 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

It was a cute story, Parker. You think you could get it across without profanity, though? (And disguising profanity with asterisks doesn't change the meaning.)

Ron



[This message has been edited by Haleyja (edited 12-07-2000).]
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


1 posted 12-07-2000 03:20 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Sorry.... the story came to me in that form and I didn't think to edit it. It already had the asterisks....
I wasn't hiding them....
But your right Ron, I should have toned it down a little...

But to be honest about this, I thought it was funny with the asterisked profanity.
Ok so I have an odd sense of humor at times.
I'll see what I can do about putting a nice version in....  

Parker walks away with head hanging low mopping....
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


2 posted 12-07-2000 04:24 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Ok, here is an edited version... no profanity. I think it still seems funny.  


DEAR DIARY

August 12

Moved to our new home in Canada.  It's so beautiful here.  The mountains
are so majestic.  Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.

October 14

Canada.  It is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned
all colours and shades of red and orange.  Went for a ride through the
beautiful countryside and saw some deer.  They are so graceful.  Certainly
they are the most  wonderful animals on earth.  This must be paradise.  I
love it here.

November 11

Remembrance day.  Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting
to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon.  I love it here.

December 2

It snowed last night.  Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It
looks like a postcard.  We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps
and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow
plough came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place.
We love Canada.

December 12

More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's
beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shoveling.  Damn snow plough.

December 22

More of that white junk fell last night.  I have got blisters on my hands
and a sore back from shoveling. I think the snow plough hides around the
corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. That no good little…..

December 25

Merry White Christmas eh!  More frigging snow.  If I ever get my hands on
the son-of-a-gun who drives  the snow plough, I swear I'll kill the little
idiot. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the
frigging ice.

December 27

More white junk last night.  Been inside for three days now except for
shoveling out the driveway after that snow plough goes through every time.
Can't go anywhere, the car's stuck in a mountain of white junk, and it's so
frigging cold, The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the stuff
again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

December 28

That damn weatherman was wrong.  We got 34 inches of the junk this time.
At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plough got stuck up in
the road and that idiot came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel.
After I told him that I had already broken six shovels shoveling out all that
damn snow he had pushed into my driveway, I damn near broke my last
one over his thick head.

January 4

Finally got out of the house today.  Went to the store to get some food and
on my way back a stupid deer ran in front of the car.  Did about $3000
damage to the car. Those dumb beasts should be killed.  The critters are
everywhere. Wish the hunters had exterminated them all last November.

May 3

Took the car to the garage in town.  Would you believe the thing is rusted
out from all that frigging salt they put all over the roads.

May 10

Moved to Arizona.  I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would
ever want to live in such a strange place as Canada.

** gee its only a little snow….. come on up, I’ll supply the hot coco..
We lose more tourists… this way…  
Well, those of us that live here still call it Paradise.  

Parker
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9708
Michigan, US


3 posted 12-07-2000 04:55 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Much better, and JUST as funny. But, uh, you still didn't quite get rid of all the profanity, Parker. Snow, after all, is a four-letter word, too.  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


4 posted 12-07-2000 05:10 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

This IS funny, parker. Either way, and if it helps, sometimes I just THINK the profanity...methinks I need Ron to be my conscience...with a wink atchya both...and oh. Most assuredly, season's greetings.
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


5 posted 12-07-2000 05:14 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Snow, we don't need no stinking snow...


Well except on Christmas Eve..  

Here's a rum and eggnog to you all...  

Parker
dgvarner
Member Elite
since 05-13-2000
Posts 3621
High Springs, Florida


6 posted 12-07-2000 05:53 PM       View Profile for dgvarner   Email dgvarner   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dgvarner

ROFL..the apology is funnier than the snow story...lol  not to laugh too hard at your spelling love, but youre walking away 'mopping'..mopping up your profanity and starting over?  lol  

ok ok..we all make spelling errors..but that one was funny    

cute story..about the snow..   lol

hugs, g



"people who need people are the luckiest people..." barbra s.
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9708
Michigan, US


7 posted 12-07-2000 06:27 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

quote:
Well except on Christmas Eve..


Why do people keep saying that? I hear it here in Michigan all the time, and I just don't see the correlation. Do people really think Christmas in California sucks just because it's warm? I can guarantee you, there wasn't any snow in Bethlehem either!
raleighbttrfly
Member
since 11-21-2000
Posts 161
Raleigh NC


8 posted 12-07-2000 07:16 PM       View Profile for raleighbttrfly   Email raleighbttrfly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for raleighbttrfly

Ron I grew up in NH and we had a white X-mass
every year and then some.(infact i think my dad felt a lot like the guy in the story) Now I live in NC and we are lucky to get a flurry. It's not the same. If you wake up X-mass day and there is snow you feel like you are in a X-mass card.

Whishing every one a white Christmass

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


9 posted 12-07-2000 08:58 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Cute story! I feel like that sometimes around here too.

Ron you're right! There was no snow in Bethlehem.
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


10 posted 12-08-2000 12:31 AM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Yeah, but I bet they wished they had snow.  
deserts can be so boring without snow.  

Parker
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


11 posted 12-08-2000 06:22 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

I love my summer Christmases.

I can't imagine not having christmas in the heat...walking off christmas dinner along a beach...

stuff snow.

(Except on christmas eve ~smirk~)

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


12 posted 12-08-2000 08:13 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

ROFL ... from a fellow Canuk's point of view ... this is pretty darn accurate, LOL!  

I don't know how many inches are outside the door this morning, but I heard it's going up to PLUS 8 on the weekend, so now we get to deal with the slushy "melt" ... gotta love it here (and I do)!  
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