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StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado

0 posted 2000-12-08 12:20 PM


Hey all, I know it's been a while...But I've been pretty busy. Here's my gripe:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and things are pretty good. He didn't start telling me he loved me until recently, due tot he fact that he wasn't quite sure what love is. He changed his mind and told me that he does love me and that was great and the feelings are mutual. We also waited on the sex issue. Another plus...however, it seems that since these major events have taken place, he has been pushing ever far away from me. We always work on being closer, and just when  I think things are sooo great and we're closer than ever, he pushes himself away from me. Someone please tell me why he incessantly resorts to this behavior. I've exempted every possibility I can think of, and yeah, I do love him and all but this is rather frustrating. I know it isn't b/c he's been hurt and afraid to endure the pain again, because he's never been in love enough to be hurt. I just don't understand why it is that guys turn around when things get troublesome, or in my case, deeper.

I'd like to hear what you all think....  
< !signature-->

*Being an angel doesn't mean having a halo or wings, it means doing the right thing and wanting to make a difference*




[This message has been edited by StarPryncess17 (edited 12-08-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jessica Lynn - All Rights Reserved
IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

1 posted 2000-12-08 01:37 PM


I think perhaps you are asking the wrong question... "why it is that guys turn around when things get troublesome, or in my case, deeper."  As a guy I hate when ppl say why do "guys" do this and do that.  
Any how now that I got that off my chest *clears throat and smiles*    
The question is why is this guy afraid to committ himself?  
It could be a number of things.  
He may be unsure of his desision.  
He could be afraid of getting hurt.  
This may all just be new to him and he's not sure how to handle it...
I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is not an answer why "guys" act this way.  It's certainly different for every person, but I would imagine he is somehow afraid of comitment.  Why?  I can't say, but I hope you figure it out and things end up perfect 4 u 2

IsGona


"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2000-12-08 11:15 PM


I'd say.......but don't quote me on this....i'd say that he admitted something to you that he's still not quite sure about. He's crawling back into his hole and wondering whether he should come out again.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
3 posted 2000-12-08 11:26 PM


Oh Man....This could stem from several things.

He's affraid of getting to close in fear of getting hurt.

He's affraid of hurting you?

He's affraid of commitment. Want's to be with someone, but with in a certain comfort zone. (I have a friend like that)

Are his parents still married...and if not, did they have an aweful break up?

How close is he to his Mom? If closeness isn't a big deal in his family.....that can cause a huge problem.
My husbands family is not close at all....and he just doesn't get the close/deep thing.
It's not normal for him.

Then there is the guy that doesn't know how to handle "deep".
When it gets to that point they just shut down rather than try and deal with something that could be so awesome.

Men don't use feelings as much as they use logic.
Where women use both feelings and logic.

I hope you are able to figure this out.
Have you asked him why he does this?
Maybe he doesn't even know, but don't let him off the hook if he says that.
Try and figure it out together.
Best of luck to you



~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"



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