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Passions in Poetry

Chemistry and Hell ....g

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RainbowGirl
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since 07-31-99
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0 posted 01-19-2001 09:04 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Subject: FW: Chemistry and Hell

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.  The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

BONUS QUESTION:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's

Law; (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed), or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that ALL souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that...."It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A"

Denise
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since 08-22-99
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1 posted 01-19-2001 09:11 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Every now and again somebody comes along and creatively puts academia into a laughing fit! I love it!! Thanks for sharing it, Cindy!!

Denise
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


2 posted 01-19-2001 09:24 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

What a clever guy!!!  
Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
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3 posted 01-20-2001 01:20 AM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Woah, that was overly creative. It rocked completely. Damn that was good.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


4 posted 01-20-2001 06:05 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

serenity? types "wow". gotta lovette.....sounds like SOMEBODY got an education???? rofl....
Kit McCallum
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since 04-30-2000
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5 posted 01-20-2001 07:26 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Thanks for the grins Cindy!  

What a mind ... loved the way this guy's works! LOL  
Morouxshi San
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since 10-11-2000
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico


6 posted 01-20-2001 11:54 AM       View Profile for Morouxshi San   Email Morouxshi San   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Morouxshi San

theres somebody that knows how relativity works.



San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


7 posted 01-20-2001 04:22 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

i think Teresa should reconsider... hehe... this was fabulous! thanks for sharing, Cindy... still laughing...  ... i love it!
Severn
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since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


8 posted 01-20-2001 07:07 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

ROTFLMAO...

HAHAHAAAAAAAAA

thankyou Cindy...needed that...

K
nona
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since 03-03-2000
Posts 140
Fla


9 posted 01-21-2001 05:26 PM       View Profile for nona   Email nona   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nona

Boy I sure wish I could have had this when I needed it...maybe a copy of it will do my grandson some good now...hehe He is in the "heated" hell of it now ...thanks for sharing can't wait to send it to him....nona
Elizabeth
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America the beautiful


10 posted 01-21-2001 07:06 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

I thought that chemistry WAS Hell!   Loved this....thanks for the smile.  
Nan
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since 05-20-99
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11 posted 01-21-2001 09:52 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I just taught my kids about exothermic and endothermic... um... I didn't go past 'gives off' and 'takes in'... Maybe I should do that class again...
dreamer1 12 5 24
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since 12-11-2000
Posts 172
crossing between


12 posted 01-22-2001 12:55 AM       View Profile for dreamer1 12 5 24   Email dreamer1 12 5 24   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dreamer1 12 5 24

WOW! HEE HEE! Very funny. I'll remember that!

....peace as a primary objective is dangerous because it implies that we would sacrifice anything for the sake of it....
Robert Kaplan
IsGona
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since 07-14-2000
Posts 1179


13 posted 01-23-2001 12:00 AM       View Profile for IsGona   Email IsGona   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for IsGona

HAHAHA... This was hilarious
But can I play devil's advocate here  
You predicted that Hell is exothermic (gives off) heat and there for will never freeze, but actually that is backwards.  Exothermic means that heat is given off yes, but as heat is given off (lost) it gets colder, which would be example 2 Hell freezing over.  Example 1 which I believe is what you support would be Endothermic (absorbing heat or heating up).  Ok Chem. lecture over.  
Very clever answer this man gave.  He deserved his A.  Thanks for this great post.
~Jason


"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~
RainbowGirl
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since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


14 posted 01-25-2001 05:07 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Glad it created some laughter... )

I agree Doreen...ROFL

HUGS
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