You Know Your Canadian if.........

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Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

0 posted 2001-02-12 02:31 PM

You know you're Canadian if:

1.  You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
2.  You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk".
3.  You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine."
4.  You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
5.  You drink pop, not soda.
6.  You know what it means to be on pogey.
7.  You know that a mickey and a few 2-4's mean "Party at the campground, eh?!"
8.  You can drink legally while still a teen.
9.  You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
10. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and they love Canadians.
11. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
12. You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and you don't WANT to know if he has!
13. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
14. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
15. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
16. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
17. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
18. You know that Thrills are something to chew and that they "taste like soap."
19. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."
20. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
21. You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
22. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
23. You participated in "Participaction."
24. You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me."
25. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
26. Unlike any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you don't possess a Canadian passport.
27. You use a red pen on your non Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
28. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
29. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
30. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
31. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo" opus.
32. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
33. You were sad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air. (Even if you didn't watch it!)
34. You know what a toque is.
35. You have some momento of Bob and Doug.
36. You know that Toronto is not a province.
37. You never miss "Coach's Corner".
38. Back bacon is one of your favourite food groups.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-02-12 06:11 PM

I am sooooooooooooooooo canadian!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

2 posted 2001-02-12 07:31 PM

I have a feeling that I may have been Canadian once. . . in another life. . . but I still wonder about Don Cherry a little. . . LOL. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

3 posted 2001-02-12 07:42 PM

You should add this one to the list if you live where I live in Canada:

The four seasons are:
Winter
Almost winter
Just after winter
Construction

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

4 posted 2001-02-12 07:55 PM

fractal. . . that's Michigan!! LOL

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

dreamer1 12 5 24
Member

since 2000-12-11

Posts 150
crossing between

5 posted 2001-02-12 09:03 PM

yeah, canadian, eh???

oh well, it's better than huh(???)!!!

CANADA KICKS!!!!!!!

(

)

....peace as a primary objective is dangerous because it implies that we would sacrifice anything for the sake of it....
Robert Kaplan

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

6 posted 2001-02-12 09:43 PM

Way too funny I got a good giggle from this as well as the responses...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3.You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me
a serviette, I just spilled my poutine."
Oh sooooooo true

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Haleyja and friends thanks for the giggles...
coco

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

7 posted 2001-02-13 12:11 PM

Sven..... to prove this.... you must explain #3, #6, #7, and tell us who is represented on the Canadian Tire Money... (must have some to know this)

Parker..

thanks to all the fellow Canadian's that droped by...take off eh!

[This message has been edited by Haleyja (edited 02-13-2001).]

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

8 posted 2001-02-13 03:11 PM

I am one proud Canadian!

Thanks for the laughs Parker!

JOY 14
Senior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

9 posted 2001-02-14 09:06 PM

"Track lighting Mr. Cherry? Oh, we can get you track lighting. Set my time machine back to 1979...."

The flying pig for life's many line-ups!

I'm not a Canadian but am thinking of moving there.
Think I could grow to become one?

Joy

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

10 posted 2001-02-14 09:55 PM

you know you're Canadian if you like those Beck's commercials

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Marina
Member Elite

since 2000-02-10

Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario

11 posted 2001-02-14 11:10 PM

These are great James, but you missed one important one...

Hell has just frozen over and as all good Canadians know...This means the Leafs have just won the Stanley Cup!!!!

Marina

It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

12 posted 2002-12-20 03:20 PM

Libre prix! Sucre? Jamais!

winston
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 204
NW of Eden

13 posted 2002-12-20 05:33 PM

Maybe the Canadians should go and move in with the English or the French. :-))

"am a tourist not a terrorist, don't shoot, cause we are all on a journey to God" Michak

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

14 posted 2002-12-20 07:22 PM

Another classic season one:

winter
breakup
construction
winter

"it was cute, it was like he was shy and didn't want to make it too obvious"
~ Reena
I'm Rhondiforous!

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

15 posted 2002-12-20 09:37 PM

I didn't understand even 10% of this. If only I'd seen it a year ago, mighta saved myself a bit of time mentally filling in those u's. Milk in a bag??? No...that's just wrong!!!

The thought of her hands
touching his hair
makes me want to vomit.

Richard Brautigan

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

16 posted 2002-12-20 10:24 PM

winston...careful! Not good advice, eh!

Parker how fun this was. I enjoyed them all and knew quite a few. But where is the one about you know you're Canadian if you have a good heart? I love all my Canadian friends. Very well done.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

17 posted 2002-12-21 12:51 PM

winston winston...... don't know much about us do you? Thats a shame.

Even though this is just meant to declare how proud we are of our country, and to state that there are differences between us and our American brothers and sisters. Although I must admit not alot. There is still no country I would rather be neighbours with then the United States. The truth is that we have more in common with each other then any other country does with us. Same parents.

So cheers and Merry Christmas
and Happy New Year to you all.

Parker

by the way....

Its spelled colour, honour, and labour
and the following people are all Canadian

Captain Kirk.... William Shatner
Jim Carrey
Raymound Burr
David Cronenberg Director
Kianu Reevs
Lorn Green of Bonanza
Martin Short
Dan Aykroyd
Neil Young the singer
Micheal J Fox
Paul Shaffer (Lettermans sidekick)
Alanis Morissette
Pam Anderson (although parts of her might be American

)
Shania Twain (first lady of country and bellybuttons)
John Candy comedian
Christopher Plummer
Bryan Adams
EUGENE LEVY
Wayne Gretzky
Donald and Kiefer Southerland
Glenn Ford
Catherine O'Hara comedian
Dorothy Stratten playboy bunny
Dave Thomas
Paul Anka
James Cameron director (Titanic, True Lies, Terminator… etc)
JACK L. WARNER of Warner Brothers
Helen Shaver
Micheal Ironside
Meg Tilly
RAE DAWN CHONG
Tommy Chong of Cheech and Chong
Alan Thicke
James Doohan (Scotty of Star Trek)
CATHERINE MARY STEWART
Paul Gross
Mike Myers (Austin Powers)
Nick Mancuso
Monika Schnarre model
CAMILLA SCOTT
Chief Dan George
Tom Green
KIM CATTRALL ( raised here since 3 months)
FAY WRAY
Neve Campbell
Margot Kidder Luis Lane
Norm Macdonald
COREY HAIM of lost boys
Howie Mandel

http://www.northernstars.ca/index.html

[This message has been edited by Parker (12-21-2002 02:03 AM).]

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

18 posted 2002-12-21 02:02 AM

what's a "canada?"

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

19 posted 2002-12-21 02:06 AM

let me answer that with a question....

what's a "america?"

Chris, if you drank a few of our beers would you care.

Canada .... North American Wild Goose

Well that explains it.

[This message has been edited by Parker (12-21-2002 02:12 AM).]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

20 posted 2002-12-21 02:12 AM

Parker, you spelled Lois wrong my dear.....
and what's with your beer is it ale or what?! lol I am closer to Canada now, talkin about going to see it too

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

21 posted 2002-12-21 02:14 AM

Sea, I'm sorry.... do come and see me though.

Where are you near?

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

22 posted 2002-12-21 02:23 AM

nope - i used to go up into canada on the weekends (out of Great Lakes Il, during my A-School) and i'm a pus... can't handle what y'all call beer.

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

23 posted 2002-12-21 02:26 AM

When I Travel in the US I can buy Canadian Beer at the gas station cheaper then Home... Its a shame we don't do that here. If I only lived closer to the border.

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

24 posted 2002-12-21 02:34 AM

Letterman loves Canada... well he loves to make fun of us...

Here's some of his top ten lists...

Top Ten Canadian Complaints About Americans
10. Won't acknowledge enormous cultural contributions of Howie Mandel
9. We're pretty sure they're holding Wayne Gretzky down there against his will
8. Every time we mention the city "Regina," they won't stop giggling
7. Incredibly, they only have one word for "snow"
6. In American encyclopedias, Canada often called "North Dakota's gay neighbor"
5. They call it American cheese, even though it was invented by Canadian superstar Gordon Lightfoot
4. They've never even heard of our most popular superhero, Captain Saskatchewan
3. Two words: "Weird Al"
2. Sick of that gap-toothed loser on "The Late Show with Paul Shaffer"
1. Not enough guys named "Gordie"

Top Ten Canadian Complaints About U.S. TV Shows
10. Whenever they show Niagara Falls, always "happens" to be on U.S. side
9. Not enough exciting canoe chases
8. No Monday night curling
7. Just when we get hooked on "Dweebs" -- poof! It's gone
6. One too many award shows hosted by David Letterman
5. It's really hard to play along with "Jeopardy!" after you've drunk a couple dozen Molsons
4. Not a single Canadian featured in O.J. trial
3. E.R. never about frostbite
2. During "Cheers" reruns, real beer should pour out of the TV
1. Too much Dave, not enough Paul

Top Ten Reasons Alex Trebek Became a U.S. Citizen
10. Dying to show off how much he knows at the citizenship exam.
9. For 10th year in a row, lost Sexiest Canadian Alive to that bastard Alan Thicke.
8. Became interested after playing U.S. Citizenship: the Home Game.
7. Risked everything to flee Canada's crushing Communist regime.
6. What is...American tail?
5. Finally admitted to himself he's just not that interested in hockey.
4. Canadian bacon -- neither crispy nor delicious; American bacon -- crispy and very delicious.
3. After you're sworn in as citizen, you get a free USA totebag.
2. Got into a little Jeopardy with a stripper in Toronto.
1. I'll take "Who gives a crap?" for a thousand.

Top Ten Possible Names For Quebec If It Secedes (its thinking of starting its own country... lol)
10. Le Grand Faux Pas
9. Lorne Greenland
8. Rand McNally's Worst Nightmare
7. Sparky
6. International House of Pancakes
5. The Monkey On Maine's Back
4. Frenchylvania
3. Canada 90210
2. Parlez-Vousland
1. Funkytown

Top Ten Reasons Canada Keeps Beating Us in the World Series (1993 show)
10. French baseball chatter very disorienting
9. U.S. players get sleepy standing through two national anthems.
8. Special enzyme in Canadian bacon that turns players into game-winning zombies
7. American teams discouraged by Clinton's new RBI tax
6. All our secret plays are being funneled to them by that weasel Paul Shaffer.
5. Exchange rate makes Canadian runs worth more.
4. Stirring pre-game talks, which always end with "win one for Lorne Greene".
3. They don't bother to use actual Canadians.
2. Let's face it--we're a bunch of "Hosers."
1. Those damn mountie umpires

Top Ten NAFTA Provisions
10. Canadians can borrow your car anytime they want.
9. Mexican workers still get $1.25 an hour, but will also get a complimentary pair of NAFTA slacks.
8. Like it or not, Bob Dylan has to do at least one Letterman show.
7. Instead of airbags, Mexican built Chevrolets will have pinata.
6. Al Gore must drink a shot of Cuervo every hour.
5. When visiting Mexico and Canada, Americans are free to shoplift as much as they can carry.
4. President Clinton has to split time between McDonald's and Taco Bell.
3. Every talk show gets a "coffee mountie."
2. Deportation of Lorena Bobbitt to Guadalajara
1. Pesos now "Clintos"

We know its all in fun..... the damn hoser.

Def: Hoser.... beer drinking Canadian.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

25 posted 2002-12-21 02:36 AM

Parker, I'm now in Idaho. lil closer any how. Lots of folks here add 'eh' to the end of their sentences. I smile every time like a little kid...yes, I am silly....

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

26 posted 2002-12-21 02:41 AM

Well, come to Toronto in the summer you'll love it, and you'll save about 40% on the dollar up here.

parker

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

27 posted 2002-12-21 02:47 AM

are you in Toronto???

and do you still have that cowboy hat????

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

28 posted 2002-12-21 02:49 AM

Yes I do still have it, although its seen some rough times.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

29 posted 2002-12-21 02:50 AM

have mercy........

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

30 posted 2002-12-21 02:53 AM

hmmmm.... no mercy for the wicked or from the wicked... which are you.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

31 posted 2002-12-21 02:55 AM

depends on the outfit I'm wearing

lol

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

32 posted 2002-12-21 02:55 AM

Do you still use the email address listed here?

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

33 posted 2002-12-21 02:57 AM

yep, that's me

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

34 posted 2002-12-21 02:59 AM

Now did you get that email? Where's the pic's.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

35 posted 2002-12-21 03:05 AM

check your email, yes, I got the email silly. Pics soon, a promise is a promise

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

36 posted 2002-12-21 11:21 PM

And you know you're NOT Canadian when you don't understand a single word in this thread!!

Stand straight and tall, not the reflection as others see you, but as you truely are. Clearwater

winston
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 204
NW of Eden

37 posted 2002-12-22 04:33 PM

Hey, if Michael Moore (the author of STUPID WHITE MEN) likes Canada he can move there!

"am a tourist not a terrorist, don't shoot, cause we are all on a journey to God" Michak

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

38 posted 2002-12-22 05:18 PM

I need to go get hosed down after this. ROTFL! this is too funny!

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

39 posted 2002-12-22 07:31 PM

Thanks all for responding.....

as for winston, where are you coming from buddy?

PARKER

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

40 posted 2002-12-22 08:22 PM

Although there are many reasons why I admire Canada, one stands out among the best...the movie Strange Brew!

Right, hoser?

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

41 posted 2002-12-22 08:30 PM

Strange Brew... *smiles dreamily* One of the best movies in the history of the planet Earth. I think I need to rent that one again

"it was cute, it was like he was shy and didn't want to make it too obvious"
~ Reena
I'm Rhondiforous!

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

42 posted 2002-12-22 11:28 PM

Never heard of the movie, but drank a few.

I'm showing my film ignorance now.

[This message has been edited by Midnitesun (12-22-2002 11:29 PM).]

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

43 posted 2002-12-23 12:05 PM

Bal,
Are you referring to the Bob and Doug movie strange brew.... didn't see it, but maybe I should pick it up. Those two were pretty funny back then.

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

44 posted 2002-12-23 07:12 AM

Yep, from here in Kitchener, I understood every one of these…specially about the beer!!!

You can never win or lose
If you don't
Run the race

Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

45 posted 2002-12-23 08:20 AM

Canada? I have fond memories of Canada...

That's where Mysteria made me climb up and down mountainsides, all the while telling me she didn't see any incline...

It's where I could go into a store to buy stuff - hand the cashier some US $$$ and walk out with change - of more Canadian $$$ than I had spent in the first place...

It's where Kit's pooch faithfully guarded her and made sure that Ron & I behaved during our visit...

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

46 posted 2002-12-23 06:08 PM

There's mountainsides here?

"it was cute, it was like he was shy and didn't want to make it too obvious"
~ Reena
I'm Rhondiforous!

winston
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 204
NW of Eden

47 posted 2002-12-26 04:53 PM

Where am I from? Well, apart from my pere et mere, I wish I knew.

But I know that if anything happened to my cousins in Canada, I would be there in a flash.

"am a tourist not a terrorist, don't shoot, cause we are all on a journey to God" Michak

[This message has been edited by winston (12-26-2002 04:56 PM).]

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

48 posted 2002-12-29 06:38 PM

bsquirrel, a bit of info for ya:

gratuit means to not have to pay for it while libre means to be free [ie. of freedom].

quote:
gratuit: adj. qu'on donne sans faire payer ou qu'on reçoit sans payer.

libre: adj. qui peut aller et venir a sa guise, qui n'est pas prisonnier.

and as a semi-alcoholic canadian tire employee, i must agree with most of those.

however some do appear to be fraudulent. heh.

/jen/

'i don't care if it hurts, i want to have control. i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul.' [radiohead]

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (12-29-2002 06:38 PM).]

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