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For George
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For George |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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There ya go...it has your name on it...I will be amazed if you can find it. So here....meet my friends--I've a very serious question to ask everyone. I need a plan to leave this man. Yes YOU GEORGE...He has been physically abusive, emotionally abusive and so boring it's criminal. He stalks me. Listens in on my phone calls. And today was the best. He tried to import all of my accounts. He used to spy in the forum, but today, he was completely baffled by the changes since it's been a couple of weeks since he's been here. He could not seem to get past the main site. Although I'm sure he enjoyed Serene's work very much. (Oh, and sharon? he also read yours.) Now...here's the deal. We have two terrific kids. They like where they live. We are not married. There is no common law in Louisiana. The kids have my name, because, when I became pregnant? He was still doing roadie work, and? shrug, wasn't sure if he was going on the road again or not. I became totally dependant on him financially. I also do not drive because I worked in the city and didn't have to. He does not give me money, even to the point of buying the groceries. "Just tell me what we need, and I will get it..." that's YOUR line GEORGE. So...I have spent the last ten years of my life, living his life. Until...ta da! I joined the computer age. I needed to learn this because I found myself virtually unemployable as I was so far behind in technology. I was previously employed as a pharmacy assistant. (I know, my life is so ironic...sigh, and for obvious reasons, I choose NOT to return to that line of work.) See? George? Been totally honest with THEM too. So? The question is...I can stay here if I can stand it...but? I don't think I can stand it. I'm called a lesbian if I leave the house with girlfriends, even if it's just to go to lunch and a thrift store. (Which is odd, considering how many lesbian friends we have with whom he is apparently fascinated.) It's that bad. I don't view welfare or public housing as an option, simply because of the situation it would put the kids in--also--I should mention that both of my kids are up for scholarship in the school they are currently attending. So please, I'm asking some of the finest minds I've ever encountered (and don't puff please, I do know some veggies over here  ) for a plan. I do not want sympathy, or hugs or compassion. I am looking for a way OUT. Now George, if you care to join the discussion? I'm afraid you'll have to register. They might even make you learn to spell...  So there it is. My complaint of a lifetime. Any suggestions, good poet people. And yes, Linda, George is the one who watches wrestling and XFL.  I'm not kidding. Need advice desperately. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Karen...I'm so sorry I wasn't on ICQ tonight when you needed me!!! Take the kids and go to your mom's or your sister's house. DO NOT go back to that jerk!!! You'll be amazed at your strength and the strength your kids will have.... And if you choose to stay....we need to talk! |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I must echo deVine's comments!!!! She has hit it right on the head. . . it will be hard, but I know that you can do it. . . you are stronger than you know. . . You know we're here. . . ------------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
I agree with PDV Serenity poet dear if you really need to leave you may need some help from the rest of your family they may have told you before to get out. I really don’t know but I’m sure that they care for you and your children so if things are very tense at this point in your relationship you must act on the children’s behalf for their well being and safety, they are most important as well as yourself. If George is not thinking rational, things may get worse. I am concerned about the physical abuse you are talking about. George may need to seek some help or he may loose control and that is never good especially in front of the children. I suggest you contact some of your family right away and let them help you. George if your out there and you really love this woman you might consider some professional help because the abuse is going to make you loose everything. You need to comment on this plea from serenity and start to change immediately if you love your children. Hugs serenity [This message has been edited by insect (edited 03-02-2001).] |
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Trisha4_u Junior Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 28 |
Serenity... I do know your pain first hand. Find your own ground as you have your strength. WE cant tell you the next step. Only you and your higher power can decided that. Believe in yourself and all you have accomplished... and remember it only gets better from there. One small step at a time. Been there ...done that...won't go back. |
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Swamp¤Faeryie Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393fairyland....of course;) |
right on!! i'm positive you have friends and family? who will help you out and give you a place to crash until you can be independent. George is a jerk,and like many other jerks,george needs help,but you are NOT the problem solver for george. So leave that stone 'round your neck behind!! You're a smart woman,you can figure a way to make it!! sami much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
First, I am okay...just leery...and? I do want to state emphatically I don't believe I am in danger, okay? Just aware of the risk of that. And? this is not simple. I really need a smart plan. I'm counting on someone, in fact, just sort of a cyber prayer, that someone, somewhere, knows exactly what to say to me tonight... That's all. Don't feel bad for me. Help me think. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I'm going to think about this..put myself in your shoes..and above all, I'm going to be honest with you!!  |
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Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
If he abuses you or your family find the biggest thing around and beat him over the head with it!......Na seriously, I'm not sure what to tell you but I will have my church pray for you. Hope everything turns out ok. |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Just give me your address girl..... I'll be there to poke that &$%@*! in the eye! BOTH of them in fact, a few times even!  Ok, but seriously.....I don't really know what to tell you? It's a tough spot to be in that's for sure. He's certainly seems to be a control freak! Let me think on this for a few.... I'll keep you posted. In the mean time....email me. And just so I know it's you....and NOT "freako" In your email...tell me what you stocked up on recently....You remember...about the eye pokes! Then I know for sure it's you. POKE IN THE EYE FOR YOU MISTER!!!!  ~Sheri "The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first" |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Karen: nothing like this is ever 'simple' -- but I can say that there are some common steps to take in dealing with a situation like the one you're in -- and taken one by one, they can appear "simple." 1) GET OUT. I know you've said you don't feel like you're in danger, by which I assume you mean physically, but that is not the only nor even the most important reason you need to get yourself out of that house. Basically, hun, you need to convince yourself that there is life without "George" -- my guess is that you've stayed with him this long because it simply wasn't convenient to do otherwise. I realize that there are always two sides to any story, but from what you've said here "George" is a classic control freak who sees nothing at all wrong with his actions, so he WILL NOT CHANGE. Get out, stay with a friend, family, ANYONE (maybe that guy with the princess hat from Disneyworld LOL) ... and as soon as you can, get your own place. Even if you have to get public assistance -- that's what it's there for -- to help you get where you need to be. You don't have to be a permanent Welfarian; if nothing else, it can be one more motivator for you to get your proverbial ducks in a row so you can get OFF the gravy train. Just try standing on your own two feet ... you might be surprised how steady you are. 2) DON'T GO BACK for obvious reasons -- if he promises to change, invite him to try -- and offer to 'date' him again in 6 months if you're satisfied with his progress (assuming you want to). 3) GET AN EDUCATION. There are SO many good professions out there that require 6 months or less of school ... and so many opportunities to take advatage of at your local Community College or Vo-Tech. You're a smart girl ... even if you can't find the 'perfect' career in one of these places, you can find a starting point that will help you to become self-sufficient while pursuing whatever venue you choose. 4) TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK -- You have many friends here, to be sure, but I'm sure you have many more within driving distance whom I am sure would love nothing more than to see you dump this loser. Lean on them for strength when you're feeling weak ... take your trips to thrifts shops and grocery stores without fear of persecution. ENJOY yourself, and know that everyone around you is glad you are. 5) NEVER GIVE UP -- I raised my two children, who were born within a year of each other, until they were 4 and 5 -- all by myself. No one paid my bills but me -- AND I went to school, AND I had some semblance of a social life (sorta -- LOL). They went to stay with their dad when I moved out here (to CA), but I will be getting them back at the end of the school year, and I can't wait. IT CAN BE DONE!! I'm not going to tell you it will be easy, but there is nothing more satisfying than being able to say that you did it on your own. Be strong, hun ... I wish you the best of luck! Linda |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
serenity, I don't know what it's like over there but here people like the Salvation Army have refuges you can go to stay. They will also help you find somewhere else to live and get you back on your feet again. I'm sure you have family and friends (besides us!) who are only too happy to help where they can. My prayers are with you and your children. Love, Dee I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Yes, I think most states have programs for women in your situation.(There are LOTS of women in your situation, you're not alone!) Check the first few pages of the phonebook, maybe under social services. Call a hospital...someone there might be able to send you to the right organization. There are support groups and services that help women that are in the process of starting over. I know that there are many job training programs and opportunities for women to return to school. Good luck, you've made the first step, it's all up hill from here on! Debbie |
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