Sitting in Michael's Lap
Karen: nothing like this is ever 'simple' -- but I can say that there are some common steps to take in dealing with a situation like the one you're in -- and taken one by one, they can appear "simple."
1) GET OUT. I know you've said you don't feel like you're in danger, by which I assume you mean physically, but that is not the only nor even the most important reason you need to get yourself out of that house. Basically, hun, you need to convince yourself that there is life without "George" -- my guess is that you've stayed with him this long because it simply wasn't convenient to do otherwise. I realize that there are always two sides to any story, but from what you've said here "George" is a classic control freak who sees nothing at all wrong with his actions, so he WILL NOT CHANGE. Get out, stay with a friend, family, ANYONE (maybe that guy with the princess hat from Disneyworld LOL) ... and as soon as you can, get your own place. Even if you have to get public assistance -- that's what it's there for -- to help you get where you need to be. You don't have to be a permanent Welfarian; if nothing else, it can be one more motivator for you to get your proverbial ducks in a row so you can get OFF the gravy train. Just try standing on your own two feet ... you might be surprised how steady you are.
2) DON'T GO BACK for obvious reasons -- if he promises to change, invite him to try -- and offer to 'date' him again in 6 months if you're satisfied with his progress (assuming you want to).
3) GET AN EDUCATION. There are SO many good professions out there that require 6 months or less of school ... and so many opportunities to take advatage of at your local Community College or Vo-Tech. You're a smart girl ... even if you can't find the 'perfect' career in one of these places, you can find a starting point that will help you to become self-sufficient while pursuing whatever venue you choose.
4) TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK -- You have many friends here, to be sure, but I'm sure you have many more within driving distance whom I am sure would love nothing more than to see you dump this loser. Lean on them for strength when you're feeling weak ... take your trips to thrifts shops and grocery stores without fear of persecution. ENJOY yourself, and know that
everyone around you is glad you are.
5) NEVER GIVE UP -- I raised my two children, who were born within a year of each other, until they were 4 and 5 -- all by myself. No one paid my bills but me -- AND I went to school, AND I had some semblance of a social life (sorta -- LOL). They went to stay with their dad when I moved out here (to CA), but I will be getting them back at the end of the school year, and I can't wait. IT CAN BE DONE!! I'm not going to tell you it will be easy, but there is nothing more satisfying than being able to say that you did it on your own.
Be strong, hun ... I wish you the best of luck!