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Passions in Poetry

I Quit!!!!

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Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


0 posted 04-12-2000 07:13 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Hmmm...do I have your attention? Yes? Good! I am going through a midlife crisis I think...if I was a guy, I'd get a gold chain for my neck, a new red sports car (sorry for that Ron - owner of a red Miata) and a 22 year old swimsuit model for a girlfriend.

What do women do? I have often thought I'd love a Harley - but I'm so short my feet wouldn't touch the ground and I'd keep falling over..and sooner or later (helmut or no - who wears one on Harley?) I'd get brain damage....and really, I'm in Arizona, do you know what black leather feels like in 110 degree heat!? Imagine a hot dog in a ziploc baggie laying on the runway of the airport...that's me!

Ok..so back to my problem (Becky stop laughing!). I thought about buying an RV and driving around the country, doing odd jobs (don't say it - odd people do odd jobs)...I even have some recipes for an RV kitchen - is the stove smaller? The measuring cups bigger - I don't get it...as long as I don't have to cook it on the engine, I'll be ok.....So here I am driving this big thing around...oh, geesh! I can't park! I'll have to only shop and eat near WalMarts .... their parking lots are big enough.. and OH, what about the toilet...does it flush out onto the road as I go...not that I could go to the bathroom and drive at the same time..but come to think of it, that would be a timesaver...a built in potty under the drivers seat...so if you see me stopped at a stop light with a funny grimace on my face, I'm not mad I'm just........well, you get the picture!

Or, another cool job would be as a caretaker. I read some of the ads....they need them in the wilds of Alaska (is there a Walmart nearby?)...on tropical islands...(I get sunstroke!)...on forlorn, desolate islands off the coast of Canada that you can only reach by helicopter - UH! Oh, sorry, that's out...you want me to FLY!  I could live in a cabin in the woods...I've done the 'outhouse' thing remember...and I could write..and as long as I had a computer and internet connection, I'd be fairly happy....don't know about mending fences though...never tried to get one into my sewing machine..

Well...I just wanted to tell you some thoughts that popped into my head today...(scary place to be huh?)...thanks for taking the time to read this..and remember...the next time you're in traffic and someone gestures with one finger - it's not offensive! They have the new Poet deVine Porta-potty-bucket seat and are telling you what job they're doing!!!!!!
Alicat
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since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


1 posted 04-12-2000 07:27 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

WOOHOO!!! Hook me up, hot mama!!  Yeah, baby!!

Ok, from Arizona, take I-10 to LA, be sure to hit it at night, preferable, early morning.  Switch over to I-5 towards Sacramento and head to Portland, Oregon...I'll be packed and waiting.  

Alicat the Persnikitty, getting highway fever again.
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


2 posted 04-12-2000 07:30 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Maybe we could split the cost? I'm too old for 'Road Rules' that MTV show, but I could do it..someone else will have to park though....
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


3 posted 04-12-2000 07:33 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Hmmm....we need Ron...then we can swing over to western Oregon and git XAngel, then over to Massachusetts for Nanner, then down to Virginia for Doreen....then we can hit Sturgis for the biker rally...YEAH!!!


Alicat, ready to transform Sturgis to the new Poetry Capital of the U.S.



[This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 04-13-2000).]
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
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Hurricane Alley


4 posted 04-12-2000 07:38 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Oh, I prefer Colon as the Poetry capital... after all I want a bumper sticker that says:

The Best Poetry Comes From Colon!

Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


5 posted 04-12-2000 07:40 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Hmmm....sounds good...also, with good ol campfire cookin, i.e. beans, that would be appropriate, considering our alternative fuel source...buttane.


Alicat, donning his MOP gear and mask.
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


6 posted 04-12-2000 07:42 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Ah...an alternate fuel source! Indeed, I think we've found a use for that bucket-seat, potty chair...connect it to the engine..and the driver (the one who ate the most beans the night before) fuels the car... I don't want to be the one to drive in the mountains though....I'd hate to have you yelling at me from the back ..."Sharon, let it rip!!"

Alicat
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since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


7 posted 04-12-2000 07:45 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Now, would ah eva do thaaaat?  Well, maybe..ok, yeah, most definately...hmmm...we need Ron again.     No worries...I think I know of a good use for all the citations for clean air emissions we'll pick up in Californy.  

Alicat, slipping the good ol fashioned woopee cushion in the passenger seat.
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


8 posted 04-12-2000 07:49 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Oh...and we have to go pick up Michael Anderson and Christopher...so while we're getting our emissions tested (never thought they'd have a 24 hour tester...nightly emissions..novel concept)...we can visit the ocean...
Alicat
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since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


9 posted 04-12-2000 07:52 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Ocean....might not be a good idea...unless we wanna make it a jacuzzi....

And yeah....the more the merrier...be another Annual Passions Retreat on wheels...


Alicat, looking at suspicious bubbles in the ocean.
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


10 posted 04-12-2000 07:56 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Ok..ok..so here we've got Chris, Michael, Ron, Nan, XAngel, Doreen, you and me.... ok..where are we sleeping? There can't be room for all of us in here and I for one refuse to sleep in a sleeping bag on the ground if I know you, you will drive off in the morning without me just because you can't stand that I'm always trying to tell you where to go....
Alicat
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since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


11 posted 04-12-2000 08:09 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

No problem...seats recline..except for the patented DeVine porta driver potty, plenty of floor space, and bunkers...hmm...maybe I'll toss ya out to the wolves so Ron and Nan can bunk out in relative peace....although...I might get chucked as well...


Alicat, scrambling to the top of the RV as it slowly rocks.
Poet deVine
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12 posted 04-12-2000 08:12 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

OH, my! Is that an earthquake!!! Why is it shaking so?  "Ali! Grab those cans of beans..we may have to make a quick getaway!"
Alicat
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since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


13 posted 04-12-2000 08:16 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Theres no hope for it...the cans are inside...gee...hope Ron and Nan are safe....

Alicat, getting pitched off the roof and landing with a THUD.
Poet deVine
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Posts 25869
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14 posted 04-12-2000 08:24 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Suddenly, the shaking stops...there is quiet throughout the land....Ron emerges from the RV, strangely, he's smoking...he looks like this ...    

Ali! Why is Ron wearing sunglasses at night?
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


15 posted 04-12-2000 08:26 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

*looks up dazed at the   Passionate Guru* Whoa...

*pulls his kilt back to cover his knees* Sharon....there are some things man is not meant to know....


Alicat, dazed and confused
Poet deVine
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16 posted 04-12-2000 08:29 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

(covering eyes so I don't see the 'thing' that Alicat doth dangle from his kilt)

Ok, ok...let's just get going all right?  Everyone! Back in the RV...I think we should give our chariot a name....RV is so common...what do you think?

Real
Vroom!

Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


17 posted 04-12-2000 08:32 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

*gets up and gathers the supplies, giving Ron an awed look* Hmm...name...*looks sidelong at Ron again* Passionate Parlour    


Alicat, needing a   himself now...

[This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 04-12-2000).]
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


18 posted 04-12-2000 08:36 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Sounds like a bordello on wheels! I thought this was a poetic place..... (Nan emerges, smile on her face, wearing her "I see you DC me" T-shirt)....
Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


19 posted 04-12-2000 08:38 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

I was just slowly cruising down an interstate on my yearly tour of the courthouses of America...(on the west coast this year) hopefully to become a Discovery Channel hit some day... when a RV blasts past me...  and I mean literally...  this suntanned goddess with a strange grimace on her face at the wheel and what appeared to be a band of poetic gypsies inside...  all sorts of strange sounds were eminating from this rolling house of lunacy... painted on the side were words of which I could not comprehend...  Rolling 'Stute or something of the sort...   being a shy person by nature, I resisted the effort to stare... then the RV stopped and people starting pouring out... spouting words in strange rhymes and one attractive hunkess had this strange Mass. accent and was closely attended to by some guy who obviously had delusions of grandeur.. sometype of wizard or something...
Alicat
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since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


20 posted 04-12-2000 08:39 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Well.....after that 'christening', ya got a better idea?  


Alicat, bad and loving it
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


21 posted 04-12-2000 08:45 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Psst..Ali....there's a strange man looking at us...he looks like a Cop! Hide the beans...we don't want the secret of our alternative fuel source impounded!

What's for breakfast? Oh, Ali,you need the beans..it's YOUR turn to drive....I think we should hit the wine country today!!!
Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


22 posted 04-12-2000 08:51 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

So this is what an earthquake feels like..
has a peculiar odor also...  kinda like a Kansas feed lot...
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


23 posted 04-12-2000 08:51 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Oooooo...yeah, cheese and whine..urm..wine....sounds good.  *hops in the drivers seat, starts the engine, and let's it rip*


Alicat the flatulent kilted Persnikitty
Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


24 posted 04-12-2000 08:56 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

We Kansas farm boys need to get out more...
a rather...(politely speaking) er.. lets just say, you would kick her out of bed for eating crackers...female took over driving the "Rolling Stute" with this strange looking skirt on...  OMG OMG OMG...  its one of those travelestites!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that ain't no woman...  (even though he deos look a little like aunt Bethane, and has this odor of methane)
 
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