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Passions in Poetry

I Quit!!!!

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jbouder
Member Elite
since 09-18-99
Posts 2641
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash


75 posted 04-13-2000 12:32 PM       View Profile for jbouder   Email jbouder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbouder

*A big, black government car pulls the RV over.  A blond haired man in dark sunglasses gets out of the car and walks to the driver side window carrying a metal object with a long copper tube protruding from it.*

Special Agent Bouder, here, from the U.S. Department of Energy.  I understand you folks have tapped into an alternative energy source and I need to attach this meter to the source so that the government can tax it.  Please step out of the RV, ma'am.  
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


76 posted 04-13-2000 04:17 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Och...who ye be callin ma'am, ye daft sessonach...ah'm a mon, ye ken?  Neu ah feel mos violated, wi yer brawn asssssssupmtions...an ah won stand, nor sit fer it.  So's ah tell ye whut, ye wee-brain'd twit, seeings as ah'v dun ha sumtin prodded whar these so-calllllled emissionions com frae, how'd abut ye taxin yerself inna same manna...*mutters and mumbles on about siccin the Celtic Anti-Defamation Association on this guy for confusing him for a lass...several speciems that can be seen on top of the RV, and inside, as evidenced by Sharon's notorious 'rack', known throughout several states now* So's if'n ye be finished, Sunny Jim..we'll jus be mosian on, ye ken? We've mus be gittin ta Sturgis...Now, see'n as we've dun ha thi cha...why don'cha hitch ye auto ta tha wee squ'ca inna back un fallo us oop?


Alicat, who is already taxed on every thing else but emissions.....
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


77 posted 04-13-2000 04:28 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

DRAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I missed all the fun!
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


78 posted 04-13-2000 04:48 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

*Stepping carefully around Alicat (trying not to disturb his dander, which has gotten up due to Jim's confusion over his gender!)

"Sir, I can swear that we are testing this fine Poetic Pooper Power with the full approval of the Government" *Turns to the RV

"Mike!!!"...see we travel with our own legal counsel now...because of the WalMart and Denny's incidents!

"Mike..tell this man!!!"
Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


79 posted 04-13-2000 06:30 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

This RV has been certified by the DEA, the FBI, CIA, HUD, MUD, NOW, WOW, POW, and quite a few other governmental agencies at both the Federal, State and Municipal levels, as well as three foreign countries I am prevented by law from disclosing.  So... Cease and desist before I obtain a Writ of Habeaus Corpus as Testifucundum e barfus eruptus.
jbouder
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since 09-18-99
Posts 2641
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash


80 posted 04-13-2000 08:36 PM       View Profile for jbouder   Email jbouder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbouder

*Satisfied that Mike is telling the truth about the government's approval of the RV's power source, yet still having to fill his quota for this month, the ever observant Special Agent Jim tries Plan B*

Ma'am, do you have a permit for that haggis you're hidin' under your kilt?
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


81 posted 04-13-2000 09:14 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

XAngel and Doreen, seeing another 'man in uniform', jump from the RV and start to fondle Jim's clipboard!  Flustered by such attention, Jim drops his pen. Alicat, the good helper that he is, bends over to pick it up.

At that point, Jim sees the light..the error of his ways..and the crack of dawn! He asks if he too can join the Poetic Crew of the RV and journey with them to the land of leather and metal...Sturgis, South Dakota.

Alicat,never one to hold a grudge (unless it's Ellie Grudge with the big rack) slaps Jim on the back and welcomes him to the group.

The journey continues...eastward now to Sturgis....but first the must pass through - (a hush falls over the crowd)

Las Vegas

Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


82 posted 04-13-2000 10:36 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

*still muttering under his breath about that haggis comment* ~aggisssss....ah'll shew im a aggissss....~*they RV, et al, streams over the mountains, heading towards a new dawn...either that or something exploded...could be Sharon's back-up wienie in a ziploc bag...arriving at night, seeing nothing but halos on the cracked asphalt, when a troupe of

prance across the highway...we must be close...*


Alicat, on the Highway to Hell...    



[This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 04-13-2000).]
Sven
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Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


83 posted 04-14-2000 12:34 AM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

*getting it all on film!  they'll love this stuff back at the network!!*

do you have the tapes?  I really need the tapes!!

PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


84 posted 04-14-2000 01:05 AM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

Hey guys!!! I wanna go!!! Pick me up at the Travel America at the Broadway exit in Boise on I-84. I'll have my leathers and some coin so we can seriously party!!! Haven't been to Sturgis since '82. Would love to go with!!!

 Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho


wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


85 posted 04-14-2000 02:34 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

ok all i wanted to say was that i was scrolling down the numerous replies and stopped at the dancing girls..matter a fact i'm still there...that's all i wanted to say

 All Day I Dream About Stanzas!!
ESP
Member Elite
since 01-25-2000
Posts 2574
Floating gently on a cloud....


86 posted 04-14-2000 08:01 AM       View Profile for ESP   Email ESP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ESP

Isn't there room for me in this lean, mean, poet machine? Huh? Huh? I wanna come too...lemme come, lemme come!

 "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."
jbouder
Member Elite
since 09-18-99
Posts 2641
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash


87 posted 04-14-2000 11:55 AM       View Profile for jbouder   Email jbouder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbouder

Agent Jim only wanted some fun
When he ate beans and dogs by the ton
But to his grand dismay
He discovered that day
Why two colons are better than one

    

Hey, Alicat ... pass the beans, will ya?
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
88 posted 04-14-2000 02:30 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

OMG !! Sharon ... this is too funny ...
I LOVE this side of you ...  
Btw ... I went out and got myself my baby, my heart , my darling Miata, metallic cobalt/blue mix, camel leather interior and convertible top .. bose , 6 speakers ... ( blows me away ) ..
This little darling takes off 30 years, everytime I get behind the wheel ....   .... and probably I'm not the only one on the road that this takes 30 years off LOL .....
If you do get down to Florida, besure to come park that RV, here .. Have plenty of room .....

 "This is where you will win the battle .... in the playhouse of your mind."
Maxwell Maltz
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


89 posted 04-14-2000 03:22 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

If it can float, come and pick me up..I could do with a new lease of life and it's about time I went and had a ball (or two)..oops...and I'm crazy so I'll just fit in with anyone..I could actually just pack a bag and go jump on a plane having bought the ticket blindfold...LOL...

Now what's wrong Sharon?..*g*...can I help?  ROFL...you're all NUTS!!!!

HUSG

 If I could, I would and if I didn't, I should have!
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


90 posted 04-14-2000 03:30 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Pepper!!! Don't be letting Ron hear that you got a blue Miata... Nope... Make sure he's not listening to that one!!!!....
Poet deVine
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Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


91 posted 04-14-2000 07:37 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

*Two days later...the only poet able to drive is PdV (she doesn't drink, smoke or gamble!). As the troup leaves Vegas, PdV ponders on the many ice-less escapades everyone had in that Neon City. Let's listen to the mind of PdV :

"If I had to hear Alicat offer to let me pull on his 'one armed bandit' one more time I'd..oh! You're here..listening in huh? Ok..here's the scoop" (PdV focuses)

"Vegas proved to be the city that almost broke the group up! Half the poets, with Mike in the lead, wanted to go see the revival of 'Grease' with Pee Wee Herman and Fran Drescher. The other half just wanted to hang out in a casino and try to win jackpots (Though who would want Jack's pot, is beyond me! I think our bucket seat pot is just fine... PdV focus!)

So, there we were standing in the middle of the strip when all of a sudden Pepper shouted "Tom Jones"!!!! The women were off and running....Pepper led the pack wearing a goldenrod colored sweatsuit...RainbowGirl (who we just picked up at the airport) was coming in a close second wearing a multicolored peasant skirt and white blouse that kept falling down off her shoulder.. Alicat (in his quilt) was right behind her helping to lift and tuck all her 'falling things'!  Nan, XAngel and Doreen were giggling and running as fast as they could (all wearing their Dockers and the "I Love Vegas" T shirts they bought at the airport). The other women were just a blur as they pounded down the sidewalk.  Tom Jones, turned to see the stampede of Poets coming towards him, shrieked something like "What's To Do Pussycat!" and took off down an Alley. (not this one)

The men stood watching them go....then a few wandered away with Mike...the rest went into the Casino to lose their shirts (we hoped!).

I was such a good girl! Never went into a gambling den with those wicked people...didn't imbibe or inhale...in fact I was thinking of changing my name to 'Perfectly deVine'...

Anyway..that's what I remember....

doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


92 posted 04-14-2000 08:20 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

Wait a minute... you're memory is a little off here, Ms. deV... That wasn't me in an "I Love Vegas" t-shirt and dockers... nope... I don't wear dockers... I was the one in blue jeans and boots... until I took the boots off and stashed 'em in my backpack and went barefoot. I had a tank top on with a really cool illustration of a wizard on it on the front and underneath the wizard, it said, "Sturgis or Bust" and on the back it said, "I'm Lost. Please Take Me Home!"

Anyway, just wanted to set the record straight. I didn't really like Vegas too much, especially when Wayne Newton kept staring at me and all that (that WAS Wayne Newton, wasn't it? Or is he dead? Well, what's the difference)... God, is he weird, or what?

When you guys weren't looking, I snuck out of the poetpeople group and walked around town a bit until I found a really cool club with a blues band and a couple of pool tables... and guess who was sitting there just waiting to play a game of pool with me?

Yep. It was Balladeer! Let me tell you, I was VERY surprised to see him without his laptop and with his cue chalked and all just waiting for me... but he didn't seemed surprised in the least to see me! "Hey, Doreen!" he shouted, then casually walked up to the table and said, "7 ball. Side pocket."

Well, anyway, he bought me a drink and we listened to the band and shot a couple of games... the band was fabulous! I think they were called something like Big Mama Colon and the Bluesboys....

This big bouncer didn't seem to care for the fact that I was barefoot, though, and asked us to leave. We just laughed and I put my boots back on and we shot another game of pool... this time, I had a really hard shot and couldn't reach it very well with the stick... oh never mind... long pool story...

Funny thing is, Balladeer didn't even know any of you guys were in town and when I told him, he didn't seem to care at all... so, we're gonna be hanging out here for a few days and we'll catch up to you later, k? Keep that RV going strong and make sure none of the guys put their kilts back on...

That kilt thing was embarrassing, y'know?

Seeya in Sturgis... unless I take another DETOUR... which, given my current state of mind is a very good possibility.

Later.  
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


93 posted 04-14-2000 08:52 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

Don't let Doreen detour she'll get in trouble...LOL
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


94 posted 04-14-2000 09:09 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

OHHHHH this is soooooo KEWL!!!
wAS HERE LAUGHING MY *SS OFF  Well done  guys.  ROFLMAO!!!!

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


95 posted 04-14-2000 09:22 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

*Oh, yes.. I remember now! Doreen did disappear
and to think she found Sir Balladeer!
Well, I don't think they went to far..
just saw them beside us in 'deers fancy new car!
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


96 posted 04-14-2000 10:39 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Well, since I started this post, I'm going to end it... we've decided to remain quiet as we 'sneak' into the town of Sturgis, South Dakota for the First Annual Poetry Fest! FAPF !!!

So listen carefully, my friends and you will hear the sounds of the poetic-mobile and perhaps if the wind is right, you'll smell us coming!!!  
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


97 posted 05-19-2000 05:25 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Bump for the newbies!!!
Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


98 posted 05-21-2000 01:37 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Shewwww!!! You guys didn't happen to come through Canton, NC on yer trip did ya? No wait , that's the paper factory ...lol

Can't believe I missed this one...roflmao

 All my love,
Jeffrey

I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep


Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


99 posted 03-03-2001 12:07 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

And pray, tell us DeVine one, where this story ended.......oh yes, I remember....Sturgis!
 
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