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Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas

0 posted 2000-11-17 02:37 AM


You know, I was just sitting here, and I realized I don't live in a time zone anymore.  I've been awake at odd hours of the night in the last few months more times than I can remember in my whole life.  This is just amazing to me.  It's like an epiphany.  An amazing epiphany.  I don't need timezones.  How can you be jetlagged from changing timezones when staying up till 1:30 (the time it is now, in my timezone) is becoming the norm?  So come on people, break the grip timezones hold on you.  Overcome them, revolt, and see what liberties are brought to you when you have thrown off the shackles of timezones.  Oh yeah.

Ryan

(wow, from an epiphany to a revolutionary speech...crazy)


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


© Copyright 2000 Ryan Williams - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

1 posted 2000-11-17 02:59 AM


Only 1.30am?

Sheesh...wow...that's early!!!
Rotf...

I will have more to say believe me...

see ya in a bit!

K


The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
2 posted 2000-11-17 03:06 AM


Lol.  I'll be here.  2:00 am now.  The minutes slowly slide by.  I sure wish I didn't have class at 8:30 tomorrow.  I've realized that early classes really suck and that I'm not a morning person.  I figured that out when I almost slept through an 11:30 class.  I never knew I could get dressed and run to class in 7 minutes.  Amazing the things I learn in this crazy place called college.  I know I've learned some other stuff, but that's the only thing that I can think of right now.  Hmmm, and now that I think about it, it's probably one of the most useful things I'll learn here.  I mean, now I know that I can get dressed and where I need to be in sub 7 mintues (if the place I need to be isn't that far).  Oh the wonders of education.  Okay, back to the project that is keeping me awake.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
3 posted 2000-11-17 03:39 AM


Oh, look, it's 2:30 now.  I just finished writing a long email, and then I decided not to send it.  Doesn't that demonstrate the spontenaity and relative inpermanence of our life?  I mean, that entire email is lost to me now, forever, b/c I chose to not send it.  This thread, in effect, is now appearing to be an attempt to permanize (new word) my thoughts for tonight.  Anyone else who is reading this and wants to permanize their thoughts can feel free to join me.  I am open to all thoughts.  Odd how I'm using such an impermanent form of medium to try to permanize my thoughts.  But, this is much more permanent than keeping them in my head.  Okay, I've said permanent too many times for now.  I bet I'll be back in 30 more minutes, at 3:00 am, cst.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669
Michigan, US
4 posted 2000-11-17 04:06 AM


quote:
I've realized that early classes really suck and that I'm not a morning person.


See, Ryan, you're still stuck in a time zone - albeit an inconvenient one when you have to deal with the rest of the world. There are a lot of night owls in the world, and probably a disproportionate percentage posting here.  

You will truly have freed yourself from the clock when you can be a morning person one week and a night owl the next, eating when you get hungry and sleeping when you get tired, neither of which will be based on a 24 hour rhythm. Today you'll be going to bed at 3 a.m., while next week you'll be rising at that hour (as I just did). And the world will see you as a very strange person.  

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
5 posted 2000-11-17 04:24 AM


You're right.  College is forcing a time zone upon me.  It's not my fault.  I swear, I have to blame it on someone else.  *grins*  I'm thinking it will be easier to not sleep tonight and then go to class than to sleep for 4 hours and try to wake up before class.  Hmmm, I guess it depends on how entertained I can keep myself for the next four hours.  Only 4 hours.  I wonder why sometimes I type 4 and other times I type four.  It's kind of odd.  I would think it has to do with laziness, but I type it both ways so close to each other.  Is laziness that temporary of a thing.  It seems that everything in life is so very fleeting.  It all changes from minute to minute, second to second.  Nothing is ever the same.  Is moment is there to be captured, but there are so many, how can you capture them all.  You put the effort into getting one, and a million others have passed you bye.  Speaking of moments, can there be more than one moment in a moment.  That sounds confusing but it's because I mean different things by the two moments and I just can't think of two different words that would work.  I mean, in a "moment," if you look at one thing, there is a moment and if you look at another, there is another moment.  It seems that a moment doesn't even involve time at all.  Or maybe it does involve time, it just doesn't depend on time.  That sounds better.  This seems like it should be in philosophy instead of here, but that's okay.  Here is where I am right now, so here is where it will go.  Okay, it's 3:20 am, cst right now.  I wonder how much longer I'll go.  See ya in a bit.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
6 posted 2000-11-17 04:26 AM


Okay, I'm back quicker than I intended.  I just realized that I used the exact same closing line that Severn used in her response up above.  This is odd because I didn't even mean to.  It's a subconscious sort of thing, which is kind of cool.  Well, that's food for thought.  Mmm, food.  Okay, I'm gone for now.  I'm sure this won't be the last of me for tonight though.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
7 posted 2000-11-17 05:01 AM


Very nearly 4am cst, by my watch.  And this is the end my friends, the end.  (weird scenes from inside the gold mine).  Long live the Doors.  But anyway, yes, this is the end.  I have decided that a little sleep is better than no sleep, especially b/c I have run out of things to keep me occupied.  But, if anyone out there wishes to keep this thread constantly active throughout the night, please, do.  I would be very happy if I woke up tomorrow morning and someone had added their late night (or whatever time of day it is for you) thoughts to this.  Call this a pleading or what have you.  (from a revolutionary speech in the beginning to a pleading...oh, the path that so many rebels walk).  Good night everyone.  Perhaps we shall all meet again in a land without timezones.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
8 posted 2000-11-17 05:52 AM


I'm wondering right now why the hell I'm awake. Yeah, it may be 6ish on the East Coast, but it's 4ish here in Arizona. I was woken up at 2ish by the TV 3 rooms down. My ladyfriend has a son who works a graveyard shift at a donut shop, and I know he turned that sucker on. Reckon he didn't know how loud it was with the lack of ambient sound.

Now, loud, I can deal with loud, like a fan or a blower or something like that. But the modulated speech patterns of a news rebroadcast, well, that is something different. So here I am, after listening to a recap of the evening's news toppers reaired in the armpit of the night, pondering the existential question: why am I here, and where's my coffee?!

[This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 11-17-2000).]

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
9 posted 2000-11-17 06:46 AM


Ryan - You've got class in two hours... You'd better make it... You too Ron... and Persnikitty..... uh... whatever...

COFFEE all around.....


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

10 posted 2000-11-17 06:59 AM


Hmmmmmmmmm...well it's now 12.15am in my little timezone...early early...

Revolutionary speech? But how is it revolutionary? I think it is like more an exhortation for reform...After all - timezones would still exist should we choose not to abide by them...so we would merely be remoulding an existing system...

But I'm all for it - timezone reform is on!

Hehe...8.30am hey? My earliest class this year was...ummmm...oh yeah - 9am but I kind of missed it sometimes...hmmm. We won't go there. (Truly, I am committed...but yes - early morning classes really suck...they should be banned, in recognition of student culture.)

I am glad to discover I am not the only one who makes up words in the middle of the night - that is a comfort...my favourite to date is 'pervex' which is a cross between being perplexed and vexed...I intend to have it in a dictionary by 2005. Possibly earlier...however, it might prove difficult...I suppose extortion and blackmail might be a good starting point. Why is the net an impermanent medium to permanize your thoughts? Personally, I think it is quite permanent...I mean - you could come back and reread them many a time. If they were merely spoken - well, the end...even if Passions disappeared or whatever they'd still be as permanent as possible - cause there are no guarantees for anything that is so-called 'permanent'.

Four and 4? Six and 6? Seven and 7? Hmmmmm...because we need variation! That's why...how boring writing things the same all the time if there exists an alternate option. Oh and you didn't write exactly what I said - cause you forgot the !     - too many !'s can be annoying I reckon...shrug, If you do too many you lose the effect and sometimes you can sound over-eager. Sheesh...I've thought that for ages...hehe...

Ali, true to your word you are a light sleeper yes? Smile...at least you get to see the world from all perspectives hey?

I realised I haven't been awake at 5am often enough. How many of us get to appreciate 5 am? Somehow it feels wrong to be awake then - four am is ok, but definitely not 5. Weird.

Shrug...unless you work then or something. I want to work at 5 at least once so I get to appreciate it...omg - I am timezone bound! Aaak!

Capturing moments - that interests me. In order to capture one - doesn't that suggest retention of it? A memory, in order to know you have and did capture it...impossible then - to hold them all. However, how long is a moment? Could someone define moment? I don't think it is possible to.

  
quote:
It seems that a moment doesn't even involve time at all.  Or maybe it does involve time, it just doesn't depend on time.


I like that.

It's entirely subjective. We define our own moments.

Right...that's it for now...off to do something before it hits 5am...lol

  K


< !signature-->

The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S




[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 11-17-2000).]

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
11 posted 2000-11-17 12:00 PM


Kamla - 9AM is NOT early in the morning...  

Ryan - Sleep when you sleep, wake when you wake. In my op, the world will eventually come around. Sleep is over-rated anyway - you'll get enough when you're dead.  

Chris

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

12 posted 2000-11-17 06:26 PM


Chris Chris Chris...now look...

9am may not be early - but getting UP in time for it is...

you understand the definition of commuting...so a little sympathy thankyou...tch - I don't know...~grumble splutter~

K

Oh the insanity...the tragedy...



[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 11-17-2000).]

PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787
Aloha, Oregon
13 posted 2000-11-17 09:07 PM


Ryan, You keep this up and you'll end up perma-toast.

How can you save me?
When the dark comes right in and takes me,
from my front walk and into bed,
where it kisses my face and eats my head. Shivaree

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
14 posted 2000-11-18 12:15 PM


Mmmmm, toast.  Toast sounds really good right now.  But all I have to eat is popcorn (which sound gross right now).  Well, guess what, it's that time again!!  Actually, it's only a little after 11pm here, which is really early, but oddly enough, it feels about like 3am did yesterday.  Isn't it kind of odd how time can be so subjective?  I mean, does it really matter what time it is?  If I'm tired, I should sleep without worrying about society looking down on me because I don't sleep during the "accepted time periods."  Really, I should sleep whenever I want.  But that's not my main problem right now.  I think my main problem would be the fact that I have no food to eat, and I've spent the last half an hour discussing how yummy pancakes and waffles are with a friend from home.  I really can't believe there is no International House of Pancakes or Waffle House here.  For anyone who doesn't know, International House of Pancakes (better known as IHOP) and Waffle House are two incredible 24 hour restaurants that always serve breakfast.  It seems unfair that they wouldn't put restaurants as wonderful as these two in a college town.  Oh, the humanity of it.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
15 posted 2000-11-18 12:33 PM


11:30.  I'm taking my own advice now and going to sleep.  So, this ends the short chronicle of night two.  Wow, I still think it's funny that I'm using the internet to make fleeting thoughts permanent.  What if the server blows up (sorry, not trying to jinx anything Ron.  *grins*)?  Paper and pencil seems more permanent.  Have I just become to lazy to write on paper with pencil?  Is typing to easy?  Am I asking questions when I should be enjoying the wonders of sleep?  I just don't know.  Okay, bubye everybody.  Sleep is beckoning.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

16 posted 2000-11-18 12:48 PM


What would you do if there was a fire...?  

K

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
17 posted 2000-11-18 12:57 PM


*grins*  Pick up all the paper I'd written my thoughts on (however much that was) and run around screaming like a lunatic.  But don't joke about fires.  One morning this week (I can't remember which), the fire alarms went off in our dorm at 5:30 in the morning.  So, I'm standing in the 20 degree weather in shorts and a t-shirt for 30 mintues while 30 firemen search the whole building for what ends up to be a small electrical fire in one room.  Oh, it was awful.  Like I said before, oh the humanity of it all.  *grins*

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

18 posted 2000-11-18 03:22 AM


What if you couldn't find some of your paper? What if your imaginary dog ate some of it? What if a friend/significant other/parent/some stranger off the street/alien threw some of it away?

Hard to lose or throw away a computer isn't it?

HEH HEH

K

(Hey - that fire nearly made you experience 5am..! Nearly...oh well - maybe next time..)



Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
19 posted 2000-11-19 01:29 AM


Well, I would have three carbon copies of each piece of paper, all hand written, and all quadruple checked for errors.  Two of these copies would be kept in open places where those who wish to quash my archival intentions will easily find them.  These will be the "decoy" copies.  The third set of copies will be kept in a secret location known by only myself.  The originals will be hidden in a lockbox.  The lockbox will have one key, and the key will be hidden in a small magnetic box under the bumper of my brother's 1988 Dodge Aries (aka Funkmobile).  These preparations and precautions will ensure that my papers are never destroyed.  They will last into the year 2119 and beyond.  Oh yes, they will.  And if anyone is wondering, yes, I did watch the Saturday Night Live presidential debate parodies.

Ryan

Oh, yeah, it's 12:30 cst.


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

20 posted 2000-11-19 06:00 AM


Hmmmmmm...

seems like a lot of effort to go to...parody or no..

hmmm

perhaps 'type...save...copy to disk...send file to close friend's computer'

might do the job.  

Trying to think of anything remotely interesting to say...nothing at all up stairs right now...

sad thing that...

K


LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
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Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

21 posted 2000-11-19 11:29 AM


Imagine tossing and turning until 5:30 and being at school at 7:00!

But now, I'm on vacation. A whole week with nothing to do except sit around here and bug all of you!!!! Oh joy.  

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
22 posted 2000-11-20 03:45 AM


It's 2:30 cst here and I'm bouncing off of walls.  I haven't had this much energy this late in sooooo long.  Too bad my roommate wants to sleep.  But that's okay.  Because I'm full of energy.  It's funny how in high school I would always try to be in bed before 11 when I had school the next day.  I always needed lots of sleep.  Now, I making a habit of staying up late.  I just yawned.  I'm tired but not tired.  It's one of those dual things where you can have both at once.  I'm tired, but I'm not.  It's weird.  I can't think of other examples right now, but I'm sure some exist.

My goal with this post is to make it the most constantly active post on all the forums.  There will always be someone adding on to it at least once a day.  Hopefully.  Of course, it may just end up being me typing pointless stuff all the time and bantering with myself.  I hope not.  Hopefully somebody else will join me in my quest.  Someone, anyone.  Please?  I just realized this is the first multi-paragraph post I've made in this thread.  Normally I don't use paragraphs when I make posts.  Something is different about this post.  Something is oddly different.  I wonder, what.  Wonderwall. I said baby, you're gonna be the one that saves me.  And after all, you're my wonderwall.  Yeah, yeah.  Oasis is the greatest British band since the Beatles.  But not really.  I actually would say Pink Floyd is better than both, but I've yet to find someone else who shares this opinion.  Maybe this post will change that.  Maybe.  Imagine if it did.  Imagine all the people.  See, I even know Beatles songs, so it's not like I'm being unfair or anything.  If I'd never heard a single Beatles song, then it would be a different story.

Wow, this is definitely the longest post I've put on this thread.  I also think it's the most pointless one.  But maybe that's the point.  It's kinda like nothing.  Say you are making a bet on a football game and you bet nothing.  You are still betting something.  You bet nothing.  Nothing is something.  0 = 1.  0 = nothing = something = 1.  Wow, look what I proved.  Anyone want to spend the three seconds necessary to discredit this proof?  Arguments are fun, but they are hard to extract.  For example, I have to extract an argument from Marx and Engels' "Communist Manifesto" for a philosophy class.  I can't even find the premises.  What fun this will be.  What fun indeed.

Maybe, by the time I finish this post, it will be three am.  I doubt it though.  There is a song by a Canadian band (Our Lady Peace) called 4am.  It's good.  I don't think I'll make it to 4am today though.  No reason.  Last time I was awake at 5am was last New Years Eve/Day when I slept over with a bunch of friends and we stayed awake until 6 or something.  In the quiet morning after everyone fell asleep, I could hear the house talking.  Have you ever heard a house talk?  It's like an aged, wise, weary spirit that is ready to lay down and slumber eternally.  It is ancient and oblivious to time.  It reminds me of The King of the Mountains from the NBC miniseries "Merlin."  James Earl Jones did the voice.  James Earl Jones has an awesome voice.  An awesome voice indeed.  He has got to be the greatest actor ever, simply because of his voice.  It has a power others can only dream about.

Yeah, well, I think this is enough pointless ramblings.  So, now, a toast to the ever-continuing nature of this post.  Bubye.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
23 posted 2000-11-20 12:08 PM


i must say that colleges have a sprt of warped time zone. i go home, there's nothing to do after 10pm, i'm here there's nothing to do BEFORE 10pm. *sigh* but i must say that i enjoy your ramblings.

If you can feel that staying human is worthwhile, even when it can't have any result whatever, you've beaten them.
-1984


Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
24 posted 2000-11-20 02:33 PM


Methinks LK has found someone of a similar calibre to argue with......

HALLELUJAH


                       

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
25 posted 2000-11-21 02:38 AM


Hello.  Tonight will have to be a quick one b/c I'm quite tired.  Just wanted to drop in and sing a little song.  Happy birthday day to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Ryan, happy birthday to me.  I'd been planning on waiting until midnight and then running up and down the dorm halls ranting and screaming like a lunatic in celebration, but instead, I fell alseep on my bed watching football.  Kind of a whimper where there should've been a bang.  Did you know that short naps are better at making you more tired than at helping you wake up.  It's the 100 percent truth.  Truthfully.  That's why I'm going to go sleep right now.  And then I am going to try and wake up for my 1:30 class.  I think I should manage that.  Hopefully.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

26 posted 2000-11-22 01:03 AM


Happy Birthday!! Well, I guess yesterday was your birthday... oh well!

Good luck in your "quest". I'll help out whenever I can!  

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

27 posted 2000-11-22 03:15 AM


Ah the feeling of getting old...

I know it well K says sagely.

K

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
28 posted 2000-11-22 03:28 AM


Setting:  A small, cluttered basement.  Music in the background, "Message in a Bottle" by The Police.  Neon lights eliminate the presence of night and day.  A regular guy sits in front of a small computer screen.  2:13 am shows in the lower left corner.

*Ryan looks around with the aged, world-wearied gaze that comes with one who has grown older by the year*

- Awww man, no one says it better than the Police.  Remember that, and that's what'll get you through the world.  Take some advice from one who knows.


*grins*

But anyway, yeah, I hate it when nothing comes to mind to say.  No fun, no fun at all.  But I'm not really tired, so I'll stick around for awhile, seeing what happens.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
29 posted 2000-11-22 12:29 PM


its 1:30 am in my time zone now and i should be in bed hours ago...im too tired to read and focus on what you have to say but will be back tomorrow
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
30 posted 2000-11-22 08:29 PM


hi there, interesting ramblings here, Ryan..not pointless at all cos you made a fellow mate smile and it cant be all that pointless when you make someone amused, right....

why do i keep to timezones?cos i need my beauty sleep, man....i remember once when i didnt sleep for the whole night and the next day i was literally staggering when i walked....my friends were watching out for me, scared that i would fall and make a big time fool of myself.....

why i sleep at night?cos everyone else does and if i sleep in the morning or afternoon, there will be no one for me to talk to when i am awake at night...my humanity requires me to keep close contact with humanity itself...and always staring at the computer screen in the wee hours of the morning isnt going to work in the long run....hmmmm

im tired but im not tired.....i couldnt agree less with you

heres one i often use:
im worried that im not worrying....(used rather often when examination periods approach, leaving everyone else but me stressed out)

YA!keep this thread going, will you

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
31 posted 2000-11-22 08:31 PM


ahhhh, the embarrassment of it all...my computer just freaked out on me and i kept clicking and clicking and hence the multiple posts....

never mind, lets continue my ramblings, shall we?

pen and paper is good..cos i suffer from computer phobia and bad things always happen to me when i use the computer(such as mulitple posts)...i will be apprehensive using the computer wary of viruses and jams and break downs and what have you

[This message has been edited by kaile (edited 11-22-2000).]

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
32 posted 2000-11-22 08:33 PM


what will i say now?

hmmmm, life is made up of moments...perhaps instead of being choosy and deciding which moment would be best to secure, its better to throw caution to the wind, go with the flow and just experience....

my point is, you might have wasted some moments when you typed about your ramblings about moments....and a moment, inferior as it may be, is always better than no moment to treasure at all

i might have misinterpreted what you have said but im too lazy to click on the review link and double-check for myself..LOL

[This message has been edited by kaile (edited 11-22-2000).]

kaile
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singapore
33 posted 2000-11-22 08:37 PM


looking back i think i misunderstood what you mean by moments...

anyway, why i sometimes type 4 and other times i type four?

sometimes im in a hurry and i will hence write shorthand....hence 4 seems more convenient..

other times, when i have time to spare, the perfectionist in me wants to see all letters before me, foreign symbols like numbers are minimised if possible...

now that i have wasted so much of your time, provide feedback, will you

[This message has been edited by kaile (edited 11-22-2000).]

Elizabeth
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34 posted 2000-11-23 12:01 PM


What? Ryan is your birthday the 22nd?! Let me know for sure and I'll add you to my ever-growing list!

Happy Birthday!

Elizabeth  

kaile
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singapore
35 posted 2000-11-23 11:31 AM


i rambled on and on for four posts and i missed the most important thing!!shame, shame on me, boy

happy belated birthday, Ryan!!
hope it was memorable


Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
36 posted 2000-11-24 02:16 PM


Well let me tell you..........don't let the time screw you over cuz i didn't get any sleep for 2 days and finally when i was able to go to bed.........i did.
right?
right!
Good?
NO WAY!
i slept through Thanksgiving!!!!!!!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
37 posted 2000-11-29 12:14 PM


And you guys thought I'd let this post die.  Nahh, would never do that.  But 5 days off of school back home with friends and lots of turkey to eat, well that all had number one priority.  So, this is just a notice to all those who were cheering b/c this thread had finally died.  I'm baaack.  Mwahahahaha.  *grins*

Anybody ever tried to picture a wandering emu in their minds?  It comes across as rather lonely to me.  Don't know why, but maybe because it's wandering.  A wandering lifestyle must be lonely.  Even though you always meet new people and see new places, at the end of the day, it's always back on the road, on your own again.  Must be very lonely.  Almost could be seen as tragic in away.  The great "American" dream (maybe world, but then again, American is probably even too broad so how about this:  my great dream) maybe isn't all that great after all.  But who knows.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you.

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
38 posted 2000-11-29 12:16 PM


A song:

wandering emus in the cold
but get lonely by themselves
walking on the road

wandering emus by themselves
wandering emus in the cold

walking down the road

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
39 posted 2000-11-29 12:22 PM


So, I just looked up emu for fun in the dictionary.  Boy am I glad I did.  I thought it was some relative of the caribou or moose.  Well, suffice to say, I was wrong.  It's actually a large, flightless bird.  Which gives credit to a description of it as wandering.  I also think it proves that my mental picture is a sad one, and now, not just b/c the emu is wandering.  I would be sad if I was a bird that couldn't fly.  It's a tragic tale.  The wandering emus, they are lonely things.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you.

Severn
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since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

40 posted 2000-11-29 05:00 AM


Emus, Ryan, are one of the most absurb looking birds on earth...

they really are...

anyway - why is a flightless bird tragic? They don't know they 'should' be able to fly...


Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
41 posted 2000-11-29 10:49 AM


quote:
absurb


....an emu got your pen LK?

              

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
42 posted 2000-11-29 07:05 PM


Actually, we've talked about something like that in my philosophy class.  It's an interesting question, and I'm forced to admit that I'm not sure what the answer is.  Does an emu know it's not supposed to fly?  Maybe it sees all those other birds and sees that they fly and wonders why it shouldn't, but then again, maybe it doesn't even know it is a bird like they are.  But then again, most tragic heroes are tragic simply b/c they don't recognize their flaw.  Though I personally find it more tragic when a character can recognize his flaw, yet still can't do anything about it.

Another thing I've been thinking.  Sometimes I'll walk along the sidewalk on windy fall days, and leaves will be blowing by.  So, I'll step on them, so they will not be blown further from where they came from.  But, then I wondered, if I was a leaf (yes, a special thinking leaf that can live after it falls off of the branch...scary, huh?  *grins*), would I want to be stomped, so I'd never be blown further from home, or I would I rather take a chance and hope that someday the winds changed and I'd blow right back home again.  I try to avoid stepping on leaves nowadays.

Ryan


"Hey Jim Kerouac, brother of the famous Jack, or so he likes to say...lucky bastard"
--Cracker, "Big Dipper"

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

43 posted 2000-11-30 06:50 AM


Firstly - Philip...

trust you to nag me about ONE little word...pah..I'll leave it there for posterity - so all the world can see how petty you are...

heh  


Hmm....well...birds.
I find it amusing, personally, how people lament for a bird's wings. 'Oh, I want to come back as a bird' etc...

Why?

Let's see...how wonderful - an existence based around never-ceasing hunger. A short lifespan...if you leave home a bit early, you're screwed...no going back to mummy in the nest if things get hard in the outside world. (Being flightless might just have it's advantages in that scenario). Potential victims of four-footed creatures with an intent to kill...and no mercy given.

Yeah - how cool..wish I was a bird.

Naturally the desire only stems for the want of something humans can never hope to have naturally...so we covet in greed the natural state of something else - ignoring of course all the pitfalls...

typical hey?

Frankly I don't think birds know they are birds at all. They just are.

Therefore it negates any connection to a hero...heroes have purpose. Emus sadly..don't.

They just are.

quote:
Though I personally find it more tragic when a character can recognize his flaw, yet still can't do anything about it


I agree.

Now - Leaves.

But...but...but

how do you KNOW they go no further from their home tree?

(Er..I have a confession - I see plastic bags being blown and things...and wonder if - assuming they had a conscience - they are happy going adventuring, or if they would prefer to fulfil their intended purpose...the rebel in me says the former...lollol)

Just because they are stomped on doesn't mean they can't travel.

And why should a leaf want to return home? It is like a baby bird once fallen...it can't live with its siblings anymore...wouldn't it be sorrowful to know that home was completely inaccessible?

Stepping on a fallen leaf...and having it stick on your shoe could be the best thing that happened to it...


Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
44 posted 2000-11-30 11:03 AM


Howdy ya'll. This here is your friendly Alley moderator type person. Ryan, just wanted to let ya know, thank ya fer ranting. That's what this place if for, dontchaknow. I did have an interesting mental image while perusing this thread. With the following, I shall elaborate:

Through dank city mist, in the armpit of night, a lone stragler meanders across slick asphalt trapped 'twixt stone monoliths. He pauses, scans the vacant street, licks his chapped lips and grins impishly. He turns into an alley, dividing high-rise flats close by the elevated rail. Clambering upon a trash bin, he stands tall, glazed eyes scanning the dark windows above.
"I can't sleep. Let me tell you all about it!", he shouts into the night, and proceeds to tell the incumbent sleepers why they are so fortunate. Presently, light blooms behind slotted shutters, windows are thrown open, and dish water cascades down.
"Keep it down down there....I'm trying to sleep!"
He waggles his finger and dimples quite boyishly, berating them for wasting their precious life time, quoting actual study figures, expounding upon the premise of what his belly is hankering for.
Then, from somewhere secreted in his noisome coat, he produces a tennis ball, and bounces it against the opposite wall, still standing upon the rubbish bin. Pak-pa pak-pa pak-pa, in delicious counterpoint to his tirade, shouting to the heavens the benevolence of toast, and isn't it a pity that they just don't make toast like they used to, back in the day.


Alicat

Ryan
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since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
45 posted 2000-12-01 01:59 AM


Ali -- That's a great picture.  A wondrous prophet of the city night, spreading his words to everyone who will listen, and a few who won't.  I can see it too.  A warm, quiet, overcast night somewhere in suburban American, 3am in the morning.  Surburban America is always deserted at 3am in the morning.  Trust me.  Standing in the middle of a cul-de-sac, this prophet of the night sings his song.  A dog barks in the distance, and a few lights flash on.  Then everything is quiet again, and the cul-de-sac is empty.

I remember one time, I was out at about 3 am with some friends, driving another one home.  There was no one on the road, no one for the entire 20-30 minutes we were driving.  And then it began to rain for a few moments.  The world was empty and quiet, so quiet we couldn't say a word.  And then there was the rain, and it's quiet pitter-patter was audible in the silence.  I love those quiet suburban nights when no one else is out.  The world seems fresh and new, innocent.

Kamla, did I say you could contradict all my comments?  I'm not allowed to be questioned.  *grins*  Sheesh, trying to make me defend my statements, what's up with that?  *grins some more*

"Therefore it negates any connection to a hero...heroes have purpose. Emus sadly..don't"

Maybe that's the most tragic, sad thing about them.  Maybe.


I sure wish it would snow here.  I remember (it has become like a legend or a myth to me) once, many years ago, the last time it really snowed.  I haven't seen a good snow in such a long time, I'm afraid it doesn't exist anymore.  I don't remember the last time the old sleds in our garage touched snow.  It's like a long gone friend who you promised to keep in touch with, but sadly, life made you break the promise.  Maybe it'll snow this year.  That would be nice, a white Christmas.

Ryan


"Hey Jim Kerouac, brother of the famous Jack, or so he likes to say...lucky bastard"
--Cracker, "Big Dipper"

LoveBug
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46 posted 2000-12-02 12:50 PM


This is the thread that never ends...  


I'm going to bring back up the question of the emu. Forgive me if I sound real stupid, but I'm on cough mediciene, and it's 12:42 am. Maybe the emu does see all the other birds flying and longs to join them, but then it sees it's fellow emus and is content. On the other hand, it may see how stupid his fellow spicies looks, and he may long to soar above the rest. Are you guys catching what I'm trying to say? When you realize what you and your fellow spicies are, you do one of three things. You may be content, you may be dissatisfied and do nothing about it, or you try to do something about it. Gosh, I'm getting really tired now! I guess I'd better shut up while I'm ahead!

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav



fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

47 posted 2000-12-02 06:11 PM


LOL< you call 0130 late???  I stay up till about 0230 each night, reading.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

48 posted 2000-12-02 11:02 PM


Ah - but how boring it would be to have everyone agree with you all the time...or not challenge you to expand your thinking...I mean, hell - you got me thinking on the leaf thing now...incessantly!

Grrrrr...

Hmmm...did I just contradict your statement about me contradicting you?

Heh.

K


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

49 posted 2000-12-12 06:42 AM


Hmm...I have been reviewing 'old' poetry - ie, stuff that wasn't written last month and came across a poem I wrote in January.

Tis about leaves, and it seemed most appropriate to the conversation about the leaving (npi) home aspect...

Risk


Torn
       leaves
shudder in winds

frightened to advance
       to
pulp

it is safer
       to feel fragile
on a tree known
       since birth

than wilt fitfully
       alone
in the mud


Of course it's all metaphoric and whatnot...but remove that and there you go:

Leaves.

K

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
50 posted 2000-12-13 11:08 PM


It snowed, it actually snowed.  Finally.  A real snow that cancelled elementary school and everything.  I remember, it flurried the day after I made my post wishing for snow.  Then, it just started snowing for the last week.  God, I love snow.  It's wonderful.  It's like a time machine.  It takes you back to a time years ago when you were eight and snow was gold.  I can't wait until finals are over at the end of this week and I can go home and be eight again in the snow.

I can't see the leaves on the ground anymore because of the snow.  They're either hidden under it all or still refusing to come down from their trees.  I'll have to come up with something else to intrigue me until next fall (b/c the snow will not melt, don't even think that...no one should go jinx this one moe now).

More on the weather now.  I love Kansas.  Kansas is the greatest place in the world for a meteorologist.  110 degree summers and 0 degree winters and tornadoes all spring.  For example, last week:  one day, it was 20 degrees out and sunny, the next day it was 60 degrees out and sunny, the next it was 20 degrees out and snowing.  I love this fickle weather.  It laughs in the face of everyone who thinks they can explain it yelling out, "Ha, I'll do whatever I please."  You can't explain it, you just have to respect it.  No matter where I end up in life, I'll always come home to the rolling plains of Kansas.

Ryan


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Ryan
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since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
51 posted 2000-12-14 02:36 AM


The minutes do float by very fast when it's late at night and there is Phish on in the background.  I'd never noticed that before.  Okay, that's all.

Ryan


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
52 posted 2000-12-14 03:37 AM


Well Hi there Ryan...I truly have loved this thread and hope to return often to read and add my permanence to this great space.  Many little things have come to mind while I have been lingering here for the past half hour or so reading the permanent thoughts that have transpired across this screen over the last several days.  Oh excuse me I almost forgot that it is now 12:39am PST here in green and wet Oregon.  This wonderful winter season that seems sooo WET.  My second winter here in Oregon and it just rains and rains.  I find it interesting when I'm used to seeing snow.  But, ya know what it's kind of nice to hop on my bike and go anywhere anytime on it throughout the year b/c there isn't any snow to contend with but then again what does it matter when you get soaked to the skin in the pouring down rain and don't even own a pair of rainpants to wear with the lonely raincoat that mildly helps.  There is only one thing sometimes I just ramble on and I start thinking I'm not making any sense whatsoever even though I occasionally go back and read what I've wrote and it makes perfect sense.  Hmm....Time!!!  Somehow I have a feeling that time is a manmade illusion...unable to find the words to express this at this time...but maybe at another time the words won't be elusive to me like they soo often seem to be.  Then there are those nights........ the ones that should have never ended.  Spending all night talking to a friend and all of a sudden you realize you have to be up in 2 hours to go to work.  It can be a great day or one of the worst depending on how the almost neverending conversation went on that night of only two hours of sleep.  If it was a nice one the day seemed to be great despite the lack of sleep because it inspired you and gave you the energy to be walking on air where nothing tires or bothers you.  On the otherhand if it was a BAD, not so good conversation with someone you just want to sleep and forget that you even exist, praying that you die in your sleep cuz, you don't in any way shape or form intend to get up and face the day especially on only 2 hours of much needed slumber.  What is this???I just wrote because, b/c, and cuz throughout this piece of uneventful piece of ongoing ramblings.  Well, I think this will be enough for this moment of time.  What a relative term    Goodnight, and Bon Nuit!!!  

Bridgette    


"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown



Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
53 posted 2000-12-14 08:43 AM


Here again....for some reason I decided to change my quote.  It's now 6:05am PST.  But, I went to bed!!!     Didn't appear that I had...but I did.  Decided to wake up and come peeking my head back into the forums this quiet and dark morning.  Seeing what interesting things have been happening....but it seems not too much cuz, most people have been snoozing and probably still are at this moment.  Anywayz, all for now.  

Bridgette  
< !signature-->

Strangers
Nobody knows we love
I catch your eyes in the dark
One look relives the memory
Remember me
The way I used to be

-Robert Smith - The Cure


[This message has been edited by Justbleu (edited 12-14-2000).]

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
54 posted 2000-12-14 08:08 PM


Hehe, okay, now, for this post, I am simply going to gripe and complain.  But first, I did want to commment on your idea about time being a man made illusion Bridgette.  A friend of mine once had a theory that time doesn't really exist.  Of course, now I've forgotten how it goes, so I'm not gonna butcher it.  Maybe I'll remember to ask him and then put it up here.

But anyway, on to my complaining.  My room decided to flood today.  How wonderful, isn't it?  I live in a dorm room right next to the bathroom.  So some workers decided to break a water pipe in the wall between my room and the bathroom.  And then, there was water on the floor.  It was just grand.  So, I sacrificed all 2 of my bath towels to drying up the water.  Having solved that problem, I decided to wash and dry them.  Little did I know, all the dryers were SMOKING.  It isn't very comforting when the dryers have smoke coming out of them and the washer next to you looks like it's going to vibrate so hard it falls apart.  But I took my chances on the drier anyway.  You'd think that 45 minutes of drying could dry 2 towels and 2 socks perfectly fine.  But no.  The towels dried, but not the socks.  Anyone want to explain that?  Anyone?  Stupid driers.  Oh, yeah, and I have my last final tomorrow plus I still have an essay to write.  Of course, I'm compounding the problem by teaching myself how to snowboard on 15 dollar snowboard from walmart tonight on a hill outside of my dorm.  Oh well, that means a 3am essay writing session, which means this thread might have an active night.  There, I did find something good in all that crap.  Yippee.

Ryan


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

55 posted 2000-12-15 05:22 PM


Hm.

Er.

First I have to let my first reaction out...

~smothered sympathetic laughter~

Why is it we laugh at another's misfortune when the scenario is a little, well...odd? Like the other day - here in NZ a man went pig-hunting (shudder) and, on having a pig 'cornered' he had his rifle on the ground (who knows why) and his dogs milling around him. Anywho, one dog named Stinky (dear god in heaven) milled around with particular accuracy and consequently stepped on the rifle's trigger, which promptly went off. Stinky the champion, I mean Stinky - blew his owner's foot to pieces. Now believe me - I laughed. I laughed uproariously...in fact - so did most of the country I believe. Stinky I am sure is now a local legend...and it is the opinion of many that he shot his owner in reparation for his name.

The pig got away.

Now, you see - wet towels and socks, and shaking driers - it's quite a combination for hilarity. I'm sorry - but there it is. And you wrote it in such a way that it possibly became funnier...

I remember when I was an idiot and shrunk my favourite wool jersey (I think you call them sweaters)...and tell me this - how can two socks go in and only one come out? How is this possible? It makes me think of parallel universes...


LoveBug
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56 posted 2000-12-15 07:24 PM


Snow... it must be nice! I live in southern West Virginia, and we have only seen dustings and flurries all year. It's more than we usually see before Christmas, so I guess I shouldn't gripe.

This Wednesday, everyone said that there was going to be a big blizzard. I was at my church, practicing for the Christmas play, when we heard rain! It was like God was playing a little Christmas prank on us. Instead of shaking snow off of our boots, we were ringing out our coats! It was so disappointing. I thought for sure that we would get a few inches. It was 20 degrees all day, and suddenly it goes up to 50 and starts to rain! It even smelled like snow.

(BTW, there is nothing like the smell of snow. If you just closed your eyes and walked outside to smell snow, you would think that you had died and gone to Heaven instead of just walking out into this grungy world that we call home. When it smells like snow, it's like the world is just right for one moment...)

Anyway, we are supossed to get a big blizzard on Sunday. I hope so, I have a big project due on Monday, and I am NOT looking forward to it. We had to write a story about a knight from King Arthur's court, and we have to read it in front of the class (with accents and everything!). Reading the story with my well-practiced British accent will be fun, but I just wish that I had a decent story to read! I wrote about Sir Persival (the knight that brings Arthur the Holy Grail). Everyone else wrote about Lancelot, so I chose Persival. This is the first time I wrote anything "folk-taleish", so I just hope I get a decent grade.

Grades. That's the reason that I'm online at 7:15 on a Friday night. I should be getting ready to go out, but all of my friends (and I mean all) are grounded. Report cards came out, and they all failed at least once class, and one failed as many as three. They aren't stupid or anything, but this year has been really tough. I've stuggled myself, but I managed to make the B honor roll.

Anyway, I think I've rambled long enough. I'll probably be back later!  

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav



Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
57 posted 2000-12-16 04:40 AM


Well, I'm quite tired and should sleep since I'll be awake again in a few hours, but I think I have time to expand what happened during the time after my 3 am essay writing session.  Let's see, at 6 in the morning, a phantom phone call woke me up.  I didn't even bother to pick it up, so I will never know who it was.  Then, odd noises in the wall kept me awake, which was really annoying.  Around 10 that day, I managed to dump snow in my car and then almost fell on some ice.  Soon after, while loading stuff into my trunk (semester is finally over, so I was getting ready to head home for winter break), my keys decided it would be funny if they got themselves locked in the trunk.  Oh, yes, it was quite funny and I could even hear them laughing.  But, I had a spare key, so the joke was on them.  I just had to get a spare room key and go up to the 6th floor and get the key and then back down.  Oh, the humanity.  After all this, I remember standing on the sidewalk laughing uncontrollably for who knows how long.  It was great.  The rest of the day just got better.  So yeah, now I'm going to bed.  Maybe tomorrow I'll have something prophetic or wonderous to say.  Who knows?

Ryan


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
58 posted 2001-01-01 05:31 AM


Well, it's been almost 15 days and I'm still on the first page.  That's good.  I really should be sleeping right now, but I'm not tired anymore.  I was tired about an hour ago, when everyone else at the New Years Party I was at started slowing down, and when given the choice between a hard couch and my waterbed, well, the choice was obvious.  But then, I listened to The Police on the way home.  They're just one of those bands that I can makes me take the long way home just so I can listen to more.  Anybody else have bands like that.  I think Pink Floyd might qualify, but I left all their cd's at kstate.  Too bad.  Dark Side of the Moon would've been good tonight.  Or Wish You Were Here.  Yeah, that would've worked.  Or The Wall, or maybe Meddle.  Heck, I should just name off their entire catalog.  But even more than Pink Floyd, The Police make me want to keep driving.  "Roooooxanne, you don't have to put on the red light.  Walk the streets for money, you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right."  Or how about "Walking back from your house, walking on the moon.  Walking back from your house, walking on the moon.  Feet don't hardly touch the ground, walking on the moon.  Feet don't hardly make no sound, walking on, walking on the moon."  Oh yeah.  If the Police were still together, and Bob Marley was still alive, they should do an album together.  That would rock beyond all definitions of rockingness.

I just realized I might make it until five am.  The post time will be after five, but that's the wrong time zone.  I've only got 40 minutes to go.  That would be nice.  Last New Years I made it until 6 or so, and then only gave in b/c everyone else had.  At 6 am, the walls talk.  I might've mentioned it before, but oh well.  I can sit in the silence (or our defintion of silence in the age of background noises) and listen to all the little creaks and groans of the house.  They speak of the fleetingness of a moment, and so many other things.  You can hear the inner-most ruminations of the pipes.  I once tried to write a poem about that, but I couldn't quite caputre the idea.  Someone could, but not I, at that moment.  Actually, I wrote two poems on the general idea.  One though, was written in the dark and is not really a poem but more of a statement, and a great one at that.  But I don't think I'm allowed to say it here.  Too bad.  It makes me laugh for no apparent reason everytime I read it.  Oh well.  But it does remind me that writing in the dark is quite liberating.  No boundaries to constrict, no nothing.  Just pencil and paper that you can't see and thoughts that you can't see.  Seems kind of appropriate, doesn't it?

My dog is sitting in her kennel, looking at me, like it's sleep time.  But I never see her asleep.  I think that dogs do all their sleeping as puppies and then never sleep again in their lives.  I've never caught a non-puppie asleep.

And one last thing before I go, just b/c it came to my mind (I wonder if anyone has even made it this far?).  Has anyone ever seen the Martin Scorcese movie "Bringing Out the Dead" starring Nicolas Cage?  If so, I'd like to know what you think.  If not, you should watch it.  I personally consider it to be the best movie I've ever seen.  Bubye for now.


Ryan


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

LoveBug
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59 posted 2001-01-01 09:33 PM


Well, I can't say that I've seen that movie, but I can relate to you with the New Year's bashes. Last night my friend just had a handful of us at her house, but that was enough to make our entire town turn their drunken heads and stare at us for being the crazy freaks that we are. At midnight, we streaked across the neighborhood!!! (Who says that underage people can't ring in the New Year in style!) We stayed up playing crazy games, from "spin the bottle" to consulting the Ouija board about our futures as professional singers (lol) until about 8 am. We watched MTV's bash about 5 times in a row that night! I was the last one to fall... and the walls really do seem to talk. My friend was carrying on a conversation with her pet snake by 6, and another friend fell asleep on the staircase at 7. We weren't drunk or anything... we had just burned up all of our energy until we were senseless blobs. My friend kicked us all out at 10, before her parents stumbled home from their party, and I slept until about 4pm. It kinda sucks considering that I have to get up at 6am Wednesday to go to school... but hey, you only live once!

Happy 2001!!

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav



Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
60 posted 2001-01-25 01:55 PM



BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oddly enough, I don't think that helped more.  Not quite like really screaming in frustration.  Oh well.

Ryan
< !signature-->

"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac




[This message has been edited by Ryan (edited 01-25-2001).]

Severn
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since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

61 posted 2001-01-25 03:40 PM


Yeah - and look what you did to the screen matey!




Ryan
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since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
62 posted 2001-01-25 04:33 PM


Huh, what did I do to the screen?  I don't see anything wrong.  *grins innocently*

Ryan


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Severn
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since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

63 posted 2001-01-25 04:44 PM


Sneaky...sneaky...

K

Ryan
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since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
64 posted 2001-01-25 04:55 PM


Hehe, what do you mean?  Sneaky about what?  *grins*  But shouldn't you be sleeping right now?  Heck, I don't even know what the time difference is.  What time is it in New Zealand (did I even spell that right?  I'm just one more damn ignorant American  *grins*) right now anyway?  See, we're back to the original topic of time zones.  Like a circle.  How symbolic.

Ryan


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Severn
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since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

65 posted 2001-01-25 05:08 PM


HEH

It's 11am!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAA

Oh dear...too funny...

ahem..
(and you are STILL being sneaky...just bringing it back round...)


Severn
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since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

66 posted 2001-01-25 05:13 PM


OH - and New Zealand is beautifully correct - just don't say New ZEEland...I DETEST that..

it's New Zehland...

ok?

~grinning~


Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
67 posted 2001-01-26 12:42 PM


Well, I learn something new everyday.  I will make sure that Americans never mispronounce New Zealand again.  That will become my mission in life.  Until I find something else that grabs my attention.  Hehe.

Ryan

I should sleep now, but it's only 11:30.  So if I don't sleep, I should do the work that I really need to get done.  But I don't want to.  What a conundrum.  I love that word.  Great word it is.


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Ryan
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since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
68 posted 2001-02-05 01:51 AM


It is dead, and I can do nothing to save it.

Ryan


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Ryan
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since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
69 posted 2001-02-18 10:43 PM


A revival:

Interstate 70: Lawrence - Manhattan

First, Iowa Street, one of several veins that are the life-blood of Lawrence. A beautiful four lane road, wide and spacious, the perfect suburban trail. Soft orangish streetlights and late night gas station neon, and not a car on the road. Odd for midnight in a college town. And then, the toll booth, take the ticket and Lawrence is soon a fading memory of the highway. The highway is dark, but not empty yet because Topeka is coming soon. A nice city, and the capitol of Kansas, but it presents a dilemma I have everytime I go through it. Save a quarter on the toll and take the main route through downtown, or take the extra price and take the bypass. On this late, cloudy night, the empty suburban bypass route sounds comforting. It's a little reminder of home while Kansas City is falling further and further away on the map. And after a quick trip around the silent Topeka, it's fifty miles of emptiness. Not a car ahead of me, not a car behind me. Just myself, the fading, staticy radio stations and a gas gauge slowly inching toward E. A race for home. The miles slowly slide by, and the rain comes for a while, and then it leaves. Comes back, leaves again. It's all silent and I'm left wishing gas and time were as endless as this highway. My exit comes, the last exit you could call it, or the only exit. I don't have another choice, because even all alone at 1:30 in the morning on a deserted interstate in the middle of Kansas, you can't just ditch life. It still holds on, so there's really only one exit that I can take. And that is what I take. Nine miles north through the most beautiful rolling planes in Kansas, and then Manhattan's outer reaches curl around me, embracing me back home. Another few minutes, and I'll be home. It is like there are two lives I lead, and this is my home, but only when I am here. And when I'm away, that's my home and Manhattan seems years away. But right now, Lawrence and Kansas City and old friends seem years away, and a different life beckons. Like I said, the only exit I can take.

(this jumbled mess was brought to my mind by a line about long straight roads from one of Severn's poems in Open 12)


Ryan
Some notes of explanation:

Kansas City lies on the eastern border of Kansas and the western border of Missouri. My hometown (suburbs from the Kansas side).

Lawrence is about 25 miles west of KC on Interstate 70. It's home to the University of Kansas.

Topeka is about another 20 miles west of Lawrence and is the capitol of Kansas.

Manhattan lies about 50 miles west of Topeka, and 10 miles north of I70 (via K177). Home to Kansas State University.

Interstate 70 stretches from Washington DC (I believe) to somewhere in western Nevada (once again, I'm pretty sure). It runs straight through Kansas, making major turns in the north/south direction only twice, and never for more than 20 miles or so. It is a straight shot through the heart of the state.


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
70 posted 2001-02-25 02:29 AM


The first storm of the year came this morning, knocked on my windows and woke me up at some ungodly hour that doesn't even exist on a clock. My eyes opened because of the of that sudden crash of thunder, the kind that keeps your blood pumping like your 10 years younger again. But they stayed open because of that steady pitter patter, pitter patter of rain on the window. All alone, in the last wisps of night, and the rain is beating on your window, bragging, saying the sun will be up soon, but you won't see it (the rain never remembers the sun always wins).

There hasn't been a storm in this state for four or so months, but now there's a change in the air. It's not winter anymore, but spring. Even the rain is warmer, doesn't freeze straight through to the bone. And it brings back memories, and it brings up the future.

Spring is a transition, between the cold empty winters we know, and the summers we want back to live again.

Personally though, I'm ready for spring break. Suits me just fine for now.


A different topic that's been in my mind for a while now. I've decided that sleep is a lot like controlled, temporary death. We purposefully choose to take ourselves out of the world we know, for no other reason than we need to. For those hours, as in death, we stop existing in the living world. And if coming back from the dead is anything like being woken up by an alarm clock, I can understand why no one does it.

Ryan


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Ryan
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since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
71 posted 2001-03-26 08:04 PM


It's not a curse to remember the past. No, definitely not a curse. But I think it is a curse to remember the past fondly. Then it makes you look at the phrase "to forget the past is to condemn yourself to repeat it" and wish you could forget it. Then would you repeat it? Nobody would know without finding out. Is it worth the price I wonder? I don't think I'd want to forget my past and then find out I couldn't relive it. And then what would I have. Some clothes, an old harmonica, and a mission in life. Well, maybe that's not so bad.

Ryan

"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
72 posted 2001-03-27 12:54 PM


Sounds like theres a poem in there somewhere, Ryan!

--------------------------------------
The first storm of the year came this morning, knocked on my windows and woke me up at some ungodly hour that doesn't even exist on a clock. My eyes opened because of the of that sudden crash of thunder, the kind that keeps your blood pumping like your 10 years younger again. But they stayed open because of that steady pitter patter, pitter patter of rain on the window. All alone, in the last wisps of night, and the rain is beating on your window, bragging, saying the sun will be up soon, but you won't see it (the rain never remembers the sun always wins).
-----------------------------------------

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
73 posted 2001-05-27 11:08 PM


Well, um, I took the first year of college, and I'm still alive.  That, I guess, is reason enough to celebrate.  I saw Groundhog Day with Bill Murray today, and realized what a fine line it walks between comedy and horror.  I think I would lose it completely if nothing I ever did mattered.  But I liked it when one of the characters pointed out that's what life is anyway.

I saw the streetlights last night, and they had an orange glow, the color of skin as a matter of fact, that convinced me suburbia isn't the death of society like everyone says it is.  It's more alive than anyplace I've ever seen.  You just have to be awake at 3am driving on the roads to see it.

And I miss the Alley like I miss Jeep Wranglers and soccer games and lightning crashing and Pearl Jam summers that signified the end.  We need a place to complain (not my first choice of words, but I like it better than five *'s) and moan and scream in frustration at the mundaneness and desparation of it all.

Ryan


"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

[This message has been edited by Ryan (edited 05-27-2001).]

Ryan
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since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
74 posted 2001-05-28 03:32 AM


I found this searching some old archives (perhaps the web is more permanent than I once thought).  I think it's kind of interesting, so I thought I'd stick it up here.

It's hard to forsake
something you worship,
and it's even harder
to forget.

My ideas here seem to have been growing thin lately.  I'm not sure, but maybe I'm going to let this topic die gracefully and just slowly slip away.  At least, until the next time something strikes my fancy and I bring it back.

I've always thought immortality would be a bad idea.  I would get so lonely at the thought of things never ending.  It is almost as scary as the prospect of someday things ending forever.  But what if you could come and go as you pleased?  Rising from the grave whenever death got a bit boring, and then going back when the things that had to be done were finished, and there was nothing left to do.  I wonder if people would ever come back (to life or death...I guess that question could go both ways)?

Ryan

"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

75 posted 2001-05-28 06:41 AM


Hmmmmmmm...

my thoughts you know revolve around how I resent heaven...(Or hell)

Did I ever get asked if I wanted to live forever????? OH NO. I just got dumped here and told I had to face eternal life. I'm not cushy with the idea...if I was more awake than I am right now I would elaborate and probably come out sounding like either an atheist or a bitter old thing who got burned at church (pardon the pun).

Coming back for more? Jumping out of the grave if I felt like it? How? Wouldn't that idea involve having some awareness of the right time to come out? Hence...you wouldn't really be dead would you...

K

Joricho
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 56
Australia
76 posted 2001-05-28 09:05 AM


just discovered this thread - and I'm six months too late for the emu discussion, goshdarnit! I have LOTS of interesting things to say about emus...
however, surely eternal life - if you accept that it exists - is one of those things that reminds us (in spite of what Oprah and the Disney movies keep telling us) we can't make life what we want it just by making choices. Whether you like it or not, it's there! It's a profoundly anti-individualistic concept - which is a very good thing for us arrogant western individualists, imho.
Ryan, I hope your interest in this thread revives -
it's about 11pm here in Australia, (home of many fascinating emus) and I am a pathetic wimp who used to rave all night but at the geriatric age of 26 need SLEEEEEEEP!

Severn
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since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

77 posted 2001-05-28 05:12 PM


YAY!
ANOTHER GERIATRIC 26 yr old!
Who understands just how geritric 26 really is...

PRAISE ALL THINGS WHO FORCE US TO ETERNAL LIFE hahahah

sigh

K

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
78 posted 2001-05-28 06:54 PM


yip Time zones suck I stayed up till about 4.30 am (long story) talking to someone in Australia (you are right it was for love)
though I could not feel too guilty because it was morning over there about 10 am and we had been talking a while.

who's idea was it to have time zones, could all not just operate on the same time, granted day and night would mean different things depending on where you lived.

You would end up going to bed in the morning in some countries but so what... it would be less hassle than lossing hours and changing your watch and it would cut out jet lag Well maybe not

"you are what you own in this land, you can be king and it all depends on the view and what you can see"  Whipping boy

Joricho
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 56
Australia
79 posted 2001-05-29 03:33 AM


Ah yes, 26....
I'm sure when I'm 56 these thoughts will be laughable, but it's true that 26 is the tail end of those youthful uni years, so it feels OLD! Well, at least to me, because I work with undergrads...
And you remember with wistful sighs the days you too thought nothing of staying up all night two or three nights in a row!

Severn
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since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

80 posted 2001-05-29 05:56 AM


Brian...I was myself moping about the timezone of 8 hours...

I find 8 is now a very irritating number..

Hey Joricho - I AM an undergrad yanno..just a very old undergrad heh...

K

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
81 posted 2001-06-01 02:27 AM


Isn't 8 the number that's supposed to represent infinity?  If that's the case, a time zone difference of 8 hours would literally seem like forever.  Maybe that's also why the working day seems to last forever (9am - 5pm is 8 hours).  I wonder if maybe the employers know of this?  A conspircacy one could wonder.  Well, at any rate, I'm going to bed and maybe I'll get 8 hours of sleep, which will seem to last forever, and then I won't be tired tomorrow.


Ryan

"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Severn
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since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

82 posted 2001-06-01 07:18 AM


You could be onto something Ryan...you just might be...I'm rather hoping that once the problem of an 8 eight hour timezone is nullified the infinity aspect might start happening in a goooooooood way...hehheh. Time will tell - isn't that just the most awful cliche? Time will tell what exactly? I've never heard time say anything...(except 'tick tock' in an irritating kind of way at the library. And even then - it was merely an agent of time that was ticking).

OH...and just for Joricho...(and everyone else who may want a dose of unbelievable cuteness..)



K


[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-01-2001).]

Joricho
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since 2001-05-06
Posts 56
Australia
83 posted 2001-06-02 10:43 PM


I can't get the unbelievable cuteness... is it my computer that's the problem? ALl I see is a little box that I can't access!
But I'm v curious now!

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
84 posted 2001-06-04 01:22 AM


I don't like Sunday nights.  That's what I've decided.  Sunday nights suck and should be banished from our world.  Yes, that would bring up numerous problems related to everyday living (I think I remember a Garfield cartoon where Jon wished away Monday, and boy did that cause trouble), but oh well.  We'll figure out a way to adapt.

Also, everyone should watch out for bear traps.  They are pure evil.  Especially when you see them but cannot stop from stepping in.  It is so very hard to chew your own leg off.  So very, very hard.

Take that last paragraph as you will, hehe.

Ryan

Oh, I also can't see any unbelievable cuteness, unless the little white box with a red 'x' in it is supposed to be unbelievably cute.  I guess that's possible.

"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Severn
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since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

85 posted 2001-06-04 03:37 AM


well it won't work now.

It was linked from a photo album in an MSN group thing...that was updated and now the photos are secure...

mope...

no unbelievable cuteness after all..

sorry...

I like Sunday nights btw Ryan..I like them because my flatmates are usually out.

the antisocial K



[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-04-2001).]

Severn
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since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

86 posted 2001-06-04 03:41 AM


HANG ON - IT'S WORKING...

in the other post...

ok this is getting a little bit twilight-zoned for me..

can you see it at all guys? I have this dreadful feeling you can't...OMG THE EMU IS HAUNTING ME!



[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-04-2001).]

Joricho
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 56
Australia
87 posted 2001-06-04 07:40 AM


Sorry, still can't see it.... what???
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

88 posted 2001-06-04 03:46 PM


Sniff...it was the cutest little emu..I took a photo of him when I was in Aus last year...SOOOOOOOOO cute...he looks absurd...

K

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
89 posted 2001-06-05 01:30 PM


Was he a wandering emu?  And if so, did he look tragic?  I bet he did.

"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

90 posted 2001-06-05 05:10 PM


No.
Just absurd.

deepblue
Junior Member
since 2001-05-31
Posts 17

91 posted 2001-06-05 11:34 PM


it's only 10:30 here, is that too early to post? but, i'm bored silly, and i don't want to do housework or go to bed or any of the other things i should be doing.  And i am really curious about this emu now
Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
92 posted 2001-06-07 03:11 AM


Don't worry deepblue, it's never to early to post to this thread.  Otherwise, we would be letting time zones control our lives.  And that just can't happen.  Right now, all that controls my life is being very tired.  Maybe tomorrow I'll have something more interesting.


Ryan

"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
93 posted 2001-06-07 11:41 AM


time zones... what's that?
::

to sleep is to stay awake in dreams
to dream is to be awake in sleep
to be awake is to be asleep in dreams

whatz this ???


[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 06-07-2001).]

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
94 posted 2001-06-12 02:19 AM


I noticed tonight, driving home, that traffic signals are much to responsive late at night.  And the only one that isn't is the only one I don't like sitting at.  It's nice some nights to sit at an intersection and not do anything but sit.

Ryan

"I've got this night to unglue" -- John Frusciante

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

95 posted 2001-06-15 06:50 AM


I had something I was going to write...but I've forgotten it. Sorry. Perhaps I am getting old? Heh...

K


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
96 posted 2001-06-15 08:36 AM


hmmmmmmmmm
hmmmmmmmbbbbuuuuugggggggg
bugggggggzzzzzzzzz
buuuuuuuuuuu
ggggggggzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzz

silence is asleep...

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
97 posted 2001-09-18 02:48 AM


It is raining outside right now, at 1:30 in the morning.  It's been raining almost all day.  And I think that this is my favorite type or rain.  It is a rain that foreshadows fall.  A cool rain, not cold and miserable, but cool and refreshing.  It washes away the Kansas humidity of late August/early September and brings about those Indian Summer days of October that are perhaps the most beautiful days of the entire year.  I'm beginning to itch for the roads again, because this is the best time of the year to drive, when windows come down, and the trees are the same shades of red as the two lane state highways that lead home.

Ryan

(A revival of sorts, perhaps, now that school has started again, giving me too much time to ponder.)

Sigur Ros

Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
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Senior Member
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Near golden sunsets
98 posted 2001-09-21 12:16 PM


Damn, Ryan, you should tell me about things like these.  You know I stay up late and do nothing but nothing for many long hours.  Or did you want to keep this one to yourself? Are you jealous of my presence?  Too bad I found it, or maybe it's too good.  *Grins*  

I shall help you carry on your quest.  A renaissance of sorts, no?  

Perhaps I should read the entire thread before I pledge my life to this cause, but I got entirely too bored about the end of the second page, and I began to wonder when September 2001 was going to pop into the date window.  I got until June of this year, then decided to skip ahead a few months.

Time zones, emus, afterlives, it is a crazy crazy world and I am my own part, living my own life, and incorporating everyone else into it. So I'm not really conforming, I'm incorporating.  That makes sense to me.  

Anyways, I just thought I'd help keep this thread going.  Seeing as it's four pages already.  I'm sure by the end of next week, we'll get that fifth page.  And by the end of next month, we'll have six.  Perhaps, perhaps.  This may turn into a journal of sorts for me.  Something along the lines of what your initial idea was.  We shall see, we shall see.

It is still quite early.  11:15 PM  Quite early.  See you when the sun comes up.

Enjoy the dark.

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb

Apachecat906
Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217
Michigan, USA
99 posted 2001-09-21 09:20 AM


It's 9:00am and I feel like I'm 4 hours out of step with the rest of the world.  I always feel like I am out of step with it, but now you've given me a reason to write about it.  Just when I thought I was done complaining about my own out-of-step-ness. I couldn't function when I had to be at work at 4:45am and wished I could have a normal life and now I can't function when I have to be in at 9:00.  Only difference is, I feel less capable of conforming to normal when everyone around me makes it look so easy.  My point?  Don't know.  Maybe that time is relative.  Can you believe this is close to the hundredth post on the subject and I can't come up with anything but the original point of the thread?  Maybe time is relative and so is time.  Or maybe time is relative and so is everything else...truth, good, evil, love, trust.  Glad you started this, cuz now I can drive the rest of you crazy with my maddddddnesss.  

Good morning,
Apache

Masked Intruder
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Near golden sunsets
100 posted 2001-09-22 02:01 AM


I have officially decided that I don't much care for 56k modems.  Give me back my Roadrunner service, that's all I want tonight.  That's all!  My computer seems so far away, but I would drive the two hours to use it if I didn't have to drive back AGAIN for work in the morning.  Gosh, the choices, the choices.  They are just tearing at me.  I'm not saying the computer I'm using is bad.  I mean, c'mon.  Flat screen, PentiumIII processor, go Vaio.  But, I just miss my cable modem is all.  I'm chuggin along at a grand 28.8 connection.  That's certainly not up to my standards, lol. Thankfully, I found ICQ and AIM on the setup wizard, otherwise I'd be pulling my hair out, hair by hair by hair!  It's okay though, I've got people to talk to while the pages load, inch by inch.

Kyle got his new truck tonight.  I'm not that jealous.  I mean it is a 98 F150 that's perty as could be.  And his dad bought it for him.  So, I'm not that jealous.  I work for my car.  I pay it off month by month.  I like my Taurus.  I'm not saying I wouldn't like my parents to just give me a car; I'll live.  


But I am using his top of the line computer, in his massive house, on his giant tract of land.  I'll shut up now before I work myself into a temper. HEHE!

Anyways, I didn't have class today.  I don't have class on Fridays.  Good scheduling on my part.  I didn't do much, slept in a little bit, did some cleaning, stood outside and listened to the birds for twenty minutes.  Stuff like that.  And, I took a nap.  Those are always high quality.

At last, I have a point for this post.  Someone asks me what I hunger for?  I initially said adrenaline, but she asks what the difference is between that and an addiction with cocaine.  You need to have more of both.  But, cocaine produces an agonist neurotransmitter in the brain, right?  Adrenaline is an actual transmitter, so there's a difference I think.  What do you think?

Masked Intruder
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Near golden sunsets
101 posted 2001-09-22 04:58 AM


In the spirit of the initial topic.  It's four.  I'll see you at five.
Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
102 posted 2001-09-25 02:53 AM


Well, I'm currently working on a theory that peanut butter makes you tired.  I'm not sure how it will turn out, but I'm hoping that peanut butter actually does make you tired.  Because if not, I'll have eaten a lot of peanut butter for nothing.  Of course, I could get tired and it won't be because of the peanut butter at all.  But of course, I will say it's the peanut butter, because that is the type of logic that I like right now.  It is the type of logic that says I'm always right.  It's probably a good thing that this type of logic isn't used by more important things than me (contrary to popular opinion, there are many more important things than me).  Because then they would be right, instead of me.  And I don't think I could take that.  Well, I probably could.  Wait, I do everyday.  So in the end, maybe it would be good if the peanut butter doesn't make me tired, because that would prove my always right theory wrong (which I believe the real world has proven it is).  But then again, doesn't that make me right because I believe it's wrong?  Oh wow, this is just one big circle.  An endless complicated circle that all started because of peanut butter.  Of course, I guess that's not suprising, because peanut butter really is more sinister than one might think.  First, let's think about the words on the peanut butter jar.  One of the most prominent words on my jar of peanut butter is creamy (the following doesn't apply to those who eat crunchy peanut butter).  Now, maybe it is just me, but when I think of something creamy, I don't think of something sticky.  Yet, lo and behold, peanut butter is sticky.  Now, why do they call it creamy if it is sticky?  Something sinister is afoot.  Something very sinister indeed.  Something so sinister, that the first moment I thought of it, I stopped eating the peanut butter (well, that and I was starting to get sick from it, and I don't think getting sick is very helpful in getting sleepy).  Well, I wonder how all this typing is affecting my sleeping (or trying to be sleeping) roommate.  On that note of wonderment, bubye.

Ryan


Sigur Ros

[This message has been edited by Ryan (edited 09-25-2001).]

Masked Intruder
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Near golden sunsets
103 posted 2001-09-27 11:18 PM


How was frisbee?  I wanted to play tonight, but I had a more pressing reunion at the airport.  Did Kyle make it out?  Something tells me he didn't because of his Physics test, but I am curious anyways.  

I have your ticket.  You can get it from me tomorrow.  I just realized that I haven't made the boffers yet.  Boffers would be quality entertainment for my house, don't you think?  We should put some of those together sometime soon.  

Alright, talk to you tomorrow.  Things to do.

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
104 posted 2002-06-30 03:49 AM


I think it is funny that today I risked my life sprinting across a wide, sort of busy street so I could consider buying big fireworks that are just as likely to kill me.  But at least it was in the name of patriotism for my fair nation.

("celebrate your nation's independence by blowing up a small chunk of it" well, that is close enough to how it goes)

Ryan

Nan
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
105 posted 2002-06-30 11:04 AM


Ryan - You show up in the strangest places...

Happy Fourth of JULY, m'friend...

Masked Intruder
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106 posted 2002-07-01 02:17 AM


Do you think I should be worried that I slowly walked across that same street you sprinted across?   *Grins*  

But, true...knowing Kyle, he will blow something up that he shouldn't.  Oh well, I'll be hiding behind HIS truck.  hehe

Ryan
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since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
107 posted 2002-07-12 02:41 AM


I saw my dog in our basement the other night, and she looked at me with those sad eyes everyone associates with dogs.  Almost as if she knew that she shouldn't be stuck in some house, but running free like dogs of old old (wolves?), like people who know they aren't where they should be, but can't think of anyway to get where their blood tells them to go.  
Ryan
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since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
108 posted 2004-01-18 04:07 AM


Tonight is the last night home of my last ever winter break.  And I thought that was kind of depressing.  But maybe I can comfort myself by realizng that in 6 months I'll have graduated, and I'll have a well paying job in a corporate office where my only concern is my next promotion.  Yay.  Can't wait.  I feel better already.

Ryan


in heaven,
everything is fine

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

109 posted 2004-01-18 04:40 AM


Sheesh, Ryan, you scared me. This old thread? I've beaten you - I've graduated...I work in an office...it's all fantastic

Right where I belong...

Anyway, nice to know you're still alive...and looking on the bright side of life heh.

K

Sunshine
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110 posted 2004-01-18 09:24 AM



Hey Ryan...are you going to be staying in KS?

Nan
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111 posted 2004-01-18 08:58 PM


And I can say "I knew both of these guys when...."

They were just seniors in high school... That went by quickly, eh???

Masked Intruder
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112 posted 2004-01-19 05:52 AM


Well, I might add that Ryan will be leaving me all alone in school after this semester.  I still have two more years.  Way to go, Philip.

Oh, and Ryan, you probably also have other things to look forward to.  Like my graduation party.  And me visiting you at work at the worst possible times.

and YOUR graduation party.  *grins*  btw, when are we doing that?  and where?  and how quickly do you want to repeat New Years?  lmao

-*-*-

Immortality is my illusion.

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
113 posted 2004-01-20 03:46 AM


I work in a lab right now.  Well, they call it a lab.  It is a room with lots of neon lights, a couple tables, and about 10 different computers.  And no windows.  I guess an office at least has windows.  So I can watch the squirrels.  Maybe they will be merry.  Or I will watch the emus.  Maybe they will be tragic.

Ryan

Oh, and I suppose I will probably be wherever the job market takes me.  Chicago would be a nice choice, or maybe Seattle.  But then I'll come back to KS someday.

in heaven,
everything is fine

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
114 posted 2004-01-20 07:45 PM


Thats so cool....you permanentized a passage of time in your life from college to graduation....like a time capsule thing. Ok maybe that doesn't make sense but I know what I mean. N now I'm the one in college dreading the early classes and staying up impossibly late cos I can't sleep. I think Im an insomniac. I missed my nine o clock this morning because I was still awake at 5 am because my brain wouldnt switch off. So the alarm clock got switched off instead. (What, you wanted me to have the alarm going off at 7 when I was still awake at 5?) First class I missed this term though....made two whole weeks of all my classes and today that ends. hehe. Its 00.41 GMT....so way early in the states...hopefully I wont be up til 5am again. Actually I am very happy because I have finally seen how it is that I am linked to a very special person...he's my soulmate. Don't ask me how I know but it just is so. We may not be "together" but we will always be together. Anyway, I think I am rambling now...I think we should have a competition to see who can ramble the longest and the most pointlessly. You did well in your college prime, Ryan. :-p But can you still do it? Or have the neon lights systematically zapped that side of you? My next class is at 12pm so thats nice and late....actually its in 12hrs time...ages...*sigh* Is anyone else here now? Talk to me! If I got ICQ would any of you all talk to me???
Ok thats my tupenny worth of nonsense.
Liz xxxx

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
115 posted 2004-01-26 04:24 PM


aging psychic

random numbers,
don't think you
can suprise me
now

i am not so far
gone as to forget
your dark secrets

or your tired order,
the same everytime

in heaven,
everything is fine

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
116 posted 2004-04-18 01:57 AM


saucers
he cried
       do not kill them
they are the ones
  that deserve
             to live

or at least play
baseball once
(maybe
twice)

before you take them
and they cannot see
anymore

saucers he cried
         take me
i'm the one we all know

you want

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
117 posted 2004-04-18 02:03 AM


i tried to save you
i tried to save you
all

i tried
but you wouldn't listen

now you see a shrinking blue ball
who should have listened

but i tried i tried i tried
and tomorrow i know i'll
try you should have listened


in heaven,
everything is fine

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
118 posted 2004-04-18 02:06 AM


at night in the dark
train goes to santa fe

i would follow if
i thought that was
the way to go

but you see, that's
what they all say


hoboman plays his harmonica
and we all smile

loner187
Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 106
Upstate New York
119 posted 2004-04-24 02:28 AM


Ah, I still have four years of high school until college and missing my early classes. But, I have to wake up at 7:30 Am EST...which is early to me. I just thought I'd bring this couple-of-years-old thread. I haven't even been at this site for as long as this has lasted. Only a few months really...

Anyway, late night on-line for me. After finishing a long week, after my spring break, of middle school, I need some relaxation. All I gotta say is;
Ryan, you rock. It's so cool, this thing started when you were a freshman in college and you're graduating in a couple months. So, it is like a time-capsule sort-of. Or like a journal-ish thing...okay. And it took me a couple of weeks to get time to read everything here! There's so many random thoughts, from Ryan to others.

And now I am adding my ramblings to this pile of stuff that's supposed to stay around forever. For the orignal topic of time zones...I don't have much to say on that. It definetly made me think. I mean, what is time really? What if there was no second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year, decade...Would we live around forever? Is time just something created from the imagination of someone centuries ago? Or is it needed?

Emus...tragic, yes. And hillarious to watch, if I may say so myself.

Like I said, so many random thoughts here that I'm not gonna comment on them all. But, here's my latest thoughts...

Is there a nothing? Really, is there ever a time when "nothing" is present. I mean, a living human or creature is never doing nothing. We are always breathing, so our hearts are always pumping blood. And then you can say air is nothing. But, it is something. It's a bunch of elements chemically combined to form a compound made of Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide and I'm sure there are other elements there, too. So does nothing exist? Every little thing on earth is something. So in a sense, nothing is something, and something is nothing at the same time. Because if there was nothing, then there would be no such thing as something. But, then again. Air IS nothing. You don't feel anything there when you move your hand in some empty space. And if there was nothing, and air is nothing, then that means wind is nothing. Because you can't see wind. You see things being blown by it; leaves, branches, people's hair and clothing.. What about clouds? All that is air and rain precipatipe. Or something like that anyway. What about the sky? There is no layer of blue seperating us from the beyond. It is merely an illusion, I won't even try to explain what it really is. And since it is just an illusion, or mirrored object or something in that sense, does it exist? I mean, there is nothing there. You can go up and up and up as high as you like and there isn't a wall of blue. You'll just end up in layers and layers of clouds. And then what's beyond that? There's space and the rest of the universe. Something is there, but what about the "air?" If there is no such thing as air, if air is a form of nothing, then what is there? What is between all of those stars and planets?

Okay, just looked up the word "nothing" in my dictionary. It says "No thing; not anything; nothingness." Geez, that helped a lot. What is nothingness? Since air does exist, and since there is a sky and clouds and wind and rain...This brings us to the beginning question: Is there such a thing as nothing? It's a word that's tossed around all the time. But, how would you say the definition, without using any re-phrasing like the dictionary did. And I don't mean the completly different meaning than what I am talking about. The version of "There's nothing to do!" and "oh, that book means nothing to me"

I mean, is there ever a state of nothingness? When there is nothing here or around....I could go on forever...just rambling on and on. But, I'll stop. I've marked my prescence here at Pip for now, in this thread. And that's the question that I always end up thinking about when I'm bored. One time I even talked about it with my little neighbor, James, who is about 6. And we came to the conclusion that there is no such thing as nothing. In which case, why is it the dictionary? Why is it a word?

A little more of my rambling, though I said I'd stop...three people you MUST check out(all singers): Ben Harper, Damien Rice, and the late Jeff Buckley. Also the band JET. Very good listening. And my fave poet, of course, is Maya Angelou. Very beautiful and honest work. You should check her out,though I doubt you guys haven't already.

Okay, I'm stopping for real now. Again, Nothing? Just some thoughts. And I know that this kind-a goes all over the place, sorry about that. It's confusing to read a little, but it's a confusing question, too.

-Amanda  

What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
120 posted 2004-04-25 03:25 AM


if i could count the number of times that i started to write something here then quit, i'd be good at counting.  yeah.

i was going to post some odd half apology to anyone who wrote here expecting interaction then fell victim to my whims that like to forget about this thread.  but here i am posting what i was going to post but decided not to.  what oh what does that mean.

but, i think the reason nothing is a word (i've been running this around for awhile) is that if it wasn't a word, it would be nothing, and it couldn't be that, so it has to be a word.  or, if nothing wasn't a word, there would be nothing to describe nothing, and you can't have that, so you need nothing as a word.

ryan

in heaven,
everything is fine

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
121 posted 2004-04-29 06:39 PM


I would ramble pointlessly if I could be bothered. But I will spare everyone tonight and merely say a short and sweet hello
Laters!

"Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
122 posted 2004-05-08 12:12 PM


I found my cookie on a frying pan. Don't know exactly how it got there. I'm a bit disturbed.
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
123 posted 2004-05-20 08:22 AM


Okay I haven't read all of this.. but I'm boreddd and tireddd, so I thought I'd say something...
Guess what time it is?
Yep, just after 5 AM here on the Pacific Coast.
I did dishes and laundry and sweeping and I've done the garbage and watered the plants... I need sleep!
The sad thing is this is my third night like this, in a row...
thats right. In a row!
I've gone through 11 days and 10 nights without sleep before. That was pretty bad.
Anyway, I have school today so I should probably go do some kind of homework or such. All I'm doing here is rambling anyway...
Ahh, yep, worthless rambling.
Gotta love it...

Always, Alyssa

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
124 posted 2005-02-16 10:47 PM


they just finished testing all the fire alarms on my floor here at
work.  there's like 30 of them scattered around the floor.  and they
all started out perfectly in time, one constant buzz.  but then they
slowly started separating from each other.  none buzzed for exactly
the same length and none stayed off for exactly the same time.  
pretty soon it was like they were just echoing off one another
bouncing around the room in complete chaos.  as you moved around and
got closer to some and further from others the pattern would change,
and you could never predict which one would go off next or where the
next noise would come from or anything.  everyone else had their
fingers in their ears while they grimaced.  and i just wandered
around the floor with a grin on my face trying to hear all of the
alarms.  i wish i had a mic so i could have recorded it.  it reminds
me of something i read the other day about a guy who put a speaker
in a random drainage vent at a busy NYC intersection (he wired it up
to a nearby traffic light for power).  you could only hear it if you
stood immediately above the grate, and he didn't leave anything
there to tell people about it.  so it would be complete luck to hear
it and then it would be a mystery where it is coming from.  i want
to do that somewhere now.

in heaven,
everything is fine

Nan
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since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
125 posted 2005-02-17 08:00 AM


Green Bears are humored by the oddest of happenstance...
Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
126 posted 2005-08-10 05:55 PM


before i forget, oh dear lord before i forget


The LASERBIRD swoops down
zap bazoom
and it is exciting like a laser
born to wow us into the future
but ominous like a bird
coming down
from above to wow us in a rut

and everyday i have seen a laserbird
is another day i have seen it all
and nothing else is left.
to see

but LASERBIRD!!!!
(how you wow me over and over)

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
127 posted 2005-10-27 05:28 PM


It isn't as if Laserbird came with the sole purpose of becoming the center of everyone's attention.  That was a regrettable side effect of Laserbird's heritage and the sad state the world found itself in when he arrived.  An alternate history of his story can follow...

in heaven,
everything is fine

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
128 posted 2005-10-27 08:33 PM


Ryan!

Is THAT the noise I hear?

I didn't realize...
but then...

all I've been doing lately
is reading headlines....

and then hiding my head.



You're still here?  In KS?

email me....

please!

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
129 posted 2005-10-27 09:44 PM


Time zones...and daylight savings time.  Gonna have to get used to this again, being in Texas where most of the state has to tinker with their clocks at least twice a year, not counting random unplugs, outtages, or locational moves.  Guess I got spoiled in Arizona, where you set your clock once and forget about it, unless those aforementioned incidences occur.  Yeah, in Arizona we would swap Pacific and Mountain as far as television programming was concerned, but didn't have to fool with that 'spring forward, fall back' nonsense when it came to any time device.  Come Sunday, I'll have to remember to take my beloved doubleclam windup pocket watch, pull the knob, and turn clockwise to move the small hand back an hour.

And that calls for a super special smiley...the Bouncing Green Booger!


Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
130 posted 2005-10-27 09:57 PM


Well this Sunday we all "fall back" an hour. In my world it doesn't really matter as I don't even wear a watch unless I need one to match ma outfit   I simply don't do mornings period until I absolutely have to, so therefore I don't care when morning starts because whenever I get up that is my morning see?  I am one that just eats when hungry, sleeps when tired, and generally tries hard to have a good time the rest of the time. Sleep?  Sometimes I sleep, but more often I don't.  I kind of figure I will have tons of time for that when I am dead, so I don't worry about that either.  I figure if I can't sleep when I try it's not time, and do something instead.

Gee, I just realized I am very blessed by time zones I ignore actually, and very thankful when I go east especially as that gives me three more hours to play.  

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
131 posted 2005-10-29 01:05 AM


Wow it's a shame that I apparently lost this thread a few years back.  But, here it is again!!! Interesting!!!! Hi Ryan....long time no see!!!!  

Bridgette

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

132 posted 2005-10-29 02:53 AM


Hey Sharon, how's doing? How have you settled in your new home?

you fall back an hour?  And we go forward an hour tonight Darn if only it were the other way round, we'd be closer, well...in time that is eh.



m xx

~i want for myself your trembling~

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