Howdy ya'll. This here is your friendly Alley moderator type person. Ryan, just wanted to let ya know, thank ya fer ranting. That's what this place if for, dontchaknow. I did have an interesting mental image while perusing this thread. With the following, I shall elaborate:
Through dank city mist, in the armpit of night, a lone stragler meanders across slick asphalt trapped 'twixt stone monoliths. He pauses, scans the vacant street, licks his chapped lips and grins impishly. He turns into an alley, dividing high-rise flats close by the elevated rail. Clambering upon a trash bin, he stands tall, glazed eyes scanning the dark windows above.
"I can't sleep. Let me tell you all about it!", he shouts into the night, and proceeds to tell the incumbent sleepers why they are so fortunate. Presently, light blooms behind slotted shutters, windows are thrown open, and dish water cascades down.
"Keep it down down there....I'm trying to sleep!"
He waggles his finger and dimples quite boyishly, berating them for wasting their precious life time, quoting actual study figures, expounding upon the premise of what his belly is hankering for.
Then, from somewhere secreted in his noisome coat, he produces a tennis ball, and bounces it against the opposite wall, still standing upon the rubbish bin. Pak-pa pak-pa pak-pa, in delicious counterpoint to his tirade, shouting to the heavens the benevolence of toast, and isn't it a pity that they just don't make toast like they used to, back in the day.