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Passions in Poetry

How to keep a healthy level of insanity

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dreamer1 12 5 24
Member
since 12-11-2000
Posts 172
crossing between


0 posted 03-24-2001 08:34 PM       View Profile for dreamer1 12 5 24   Email dreamer1 12 5 24   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dreamer1 12 5 24

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

This was e-mailed to me and it was so funny I had to post it. Enjoy!

(This was funny for the most part- I think #14 is disrespectful to the amazing art of poetry, but oh well)

1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3) Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@OCDSB.edu.on.ca
or Elvis-the-King@OCDSB.edu.on.ca

4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
that.

5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

6) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

7) In the memo field of all your cheques , write " FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".

8) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

9) Dont use any punctuation

10) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

11) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

12) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

13) Sing along at the opera.

14) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

15) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds
all day.

16) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

17) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

18) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time
this week!!!"

19) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"

20) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....

21) Copy this and e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they have already sent it
to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.

....peace as a primary objective is dangerous because it implies that we would sacrifice any principle for the sake of it....
Robert Kaplan

Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


1 posted 03-25-2001 12:56 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Hahaha I liked the one about the mosquito netting. I might do that!
Just A Woman
Senior Member
since 03-10-2001
Posts 508


2 posted 03-25-2001 01:01 PM       View Profile for Just A Woman   Email Just A Woman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Just A Woman

LOL! I liked that!

"Often the test of courage is not to die but to live"

~Vittorio Alferi~

Acies
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since 06-07-2000
Posts 14805
Twilight Zone


3 posted 03-25-2001 04:24 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

LMAO

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-29-2000
Posts 1663
Kokomo,IN,USA


4 posted 03-25-2001 06:15 PM       View Profile for DancinQueen   Email DancinQueen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DancinQueen

i like #20

¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

JLR
Senior Member
since 02-04-2001
Posts 1851


5 posted 03-25-2001 09:06 PM       View Profile for JLR   Email JLR   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JLR

Hilarious!!
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


6 posted 03-25-2001 09:37 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Funny!
PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


7 posted 03-25-2001 09:56 PM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

This is great!! Laughed all the way through. Thanks for the giggles.

How can you save me?
When the dark comes right in and takes me,
from my front walk and into bed,
where it kisses my face and eats my head. Shivaree

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 09-07-2000
Posts 1972
Ann Arbor, MI


8 posted 03-26-2001 03:56 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

AMEN!!!!!!!!

"The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake."
- Leonardo da Vinci

Dream-eagle
Junior Member
since 03-07-2001
Posts 34
Indiana, USA


9 posted 03-27-2001 01:50 AM       View Profile for Dream-eagle   Email Dream-eagle   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Dream-eagle

hehe I think I am going to use the atm one next time I have a friend with me when I go to pick up some money
 
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