I like the surreal feel to this and how you use your metaphor. I'm having a couple of problems with the
context (I think)
In the first sentence:
Night crawled and the curlew called, a melancholy whistle in the wind,which chilled both bone and the path home that bore me to tomorrow through the gate.
I see a parethetical set "a melancholy whistle in the wind" this is not working for me. I should be able to
remove this set from the sentence and the sentence should make perfect sense, without further punctuation, and I cannot.
Night crawled and the curlew called which chilled both bone and the path home that bore me to tomorrow through the gate.
This would require I put a comma after "called" in order for it to make sense.
Also a parenthetical set should be an adjectival phrase that further defines the call.
[Night crawled and the curlew's melancholy call, like a wistle in the wind, chilled both bone and the path home. I was borne to tomorrow through the gate.]
Dawn broke and the fields awoke, merged ogres into hawthorns touching sky. The linnet turned as his world stirred his urge to preen and call out to a mate.
Perhaps "merging" instead of "merged"?
The linnet turned as his world stirred his urge to preen and call out to a mate
Perhaps "and" instead of "an"?
Crows cawed as foxes pawed and weasel-like the stoats were warren bound. Grey geese grazed as the new sun blazed as heaven turned to hell that wouldnít wait.
This is a little clumsy. Hmmm...
[As crows cawed, foxes pawed and the weasel-like stoats were warren bound]
Also, if you removed the "as" after "grazed" and put a comma, it would be clearer.
There's great imagery here Grinch, I like this.