How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Critical Analysis #2 Archive
 Valentine
 1 2 3 4 5
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Valentine

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Monk Frost I!
Member
since 06-15-2008
Posts 79


0 posted 02-15-2009 01:04 AM       View Profile for Monk Frost I!   Email Monk Frost I!   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Monk Frost I!

Love is desire
Lost in admire
© Copyright 2009 Terry Ridener - All Rights Reserved
moonbeam
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 12-24-2005
Posts 2038


1 posted 02-15-2009 03:38 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

"Admire" is a verb.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464
Florida


2 posted 02-15-2009 12:43 PM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell

I think it works.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

turtle
Member
since 01-23-2009
Posts 491
Harbor


3 posted 02-15-2009 03:17 PM       View Profile for turtle   Email turtle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for turtle

Hi moonbeam,  

Yes,  I agree.. It can be done, but it's considered tacky.

http://decorabilia.blogspot.com/2007/05/is-it-okay-to-end-sentence-with-verb.html

http://www.englishchick.com/grammar/grcomm.htm


I think this link sums it up the best:

http://www.one-step-forward.net/2007/11/part-two-with-what-do-you-end-sentence.html


Suzy, I love your crit message  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi monkly,

I can't say, this is a poem. Try to envision these 6 words strung together on a page, in a sea of white.
The reader would be expecting something profound. This is little more than a cliched ditty. If I took your
three posts and put them togeter like below, I might have a poem. It's sick humor and clumsy, but a poem.


Taken all my years
To grasp life
Along with fear
The taste of strife
Tired of tears
At last I laugh

Love is desire
Lost in admire

We all linger to feed from the soil
Except for the children that starve
Seed our world of turmoil
Save Eden, sow a garden


moonbeam
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 12-24-2005
Posts 2038


4 posted 02-16-2009 12:52 PM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Just to be clear, I have no problem with endings per se. There are instances perhaps of legitimate grammatical usage, comic usage and yoda usage where a verb ending works well.

Here it does not work well for me.  It sounds like the writer wanted a hurried rhyme for "desire", and simply latched onto "admire" in preference to the correct noun "admiration".  For me, it comes over as bad writing.
chopsticks
Senior Member
since 10-02-2007
Posts 870
The US,


5 posted 02-16-2009 01:09 PM       View Profile for chopsticks   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chopsticks

Since the line is not a sentence, wouldn’t that make it ok by default .

 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Critical Analysis #2 >> Valentine Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors