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Passions in Poetry

Minot's Ledge Lighthouse (villanelle)

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turtle
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since 01-23-2009
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0 posted 02-03-2009 12:16 PM       View Profile for turtle   Email turtle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for turtle

Minot's Ledge Lighthouse

Through shrouding squalls  far out to sea,
There winks a warning glint by night
That's brightly, pulsing One, Four, Three.  

This granite lighthouse finds no lee,
On Minot's Ledge in Boston Bight,
From shrouding squalls far out to sea.

A twinkling gaze on storm's decree,
Whose signal eases sailors' plight,
Is brightly, pulsing One, Four, Three.

Her beacon probes my humble plea
To point my way past peril's spite,
Through shrouding squalls far out to sea.

To find the arms of lover's glee,
A fresnel lens on distant height
Is brightly, pulsing One, Four, Three.

My dearest darling waits for me.
To find her glow by Lover's Light,
Through shrouding squalls  far out to sea,
That's brightly, pulsing One, Four, Three.

turtle

Notes: Probably a couple word choices that need attention. Chops, this is one that I researched,  
© Copyright 2009 turtle - All Rights Reserved
chopsticks
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since 10-02-2007
Posts 870
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1 posted 02-03-2009 01:21 PM       View Profile for chopsticks   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chopsticks

Turtle, I think that it is very well done.

One question ~ usually a sailor only times the lighthouse when it is dark. ( For example the Diamond Shoals light is a eight second light, so a sailor would tell his relief, the next light is an eight second light) So which of ~one four three~ is the dark seconds. Of course for the poem it doesnít matter; I just have an orderly mind


I just found this , so the four seconds is dark :

Showing a single flash, the duration of darkness always being greater than that of light. This characteristic or that immediately following is generally adopted for important lights

turtle
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since 01-23-2009
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2 posted 02-03-2009 02:49 PM       View Profile for turtle   Email turtle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for turtle

Hi chops,

Interesting, I thought the different patterns of flash (the charateristic) helped the sailor at sea identify which lighthouse he was seeing. I know that this was important when I was off the coast of California near LA and there where so many lighthouses the only way to get a fix was to count the flashes and check the charts....Wait a minute, now that I think of it the duration between flashs is important too. I also know that this system changes depending on where you are.
chopsticks
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3 posted 02-03-2009 02:57 PM       View Profile for chopsticks   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chopsticks

ď Interesting, I thought the different patterns of flash (the charateristic) helped the sailor at sea identify which lighthouse he was seeing. ď

Turtle, you are right. There is no other lighthouse on the  East coast that flashes light and then has eight seconds of  dark.

Speaking of California How you navigate off of California if you are going North and you hear Hawaii music, you tack a little starboard  if you hear dogs barking , you tack a little to port. Going south you just use the reverse.

Nan
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4 posted 02-03-2009 06:13 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I love the villanelle.. I love lighthouses.. and New England.. and I love a nautical theme in poetry.  Easy to please, aren't I?

This one's a keeper, turtle.. Thanks for sharing it here.

Perfect iambic tetrameter, btw..



turtle
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5 posted 02-04-2009 01:20 AM       View Profile for turtle   Email turtle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for turtle

Thanks Nan, The Minot's Ledge Lighthouse has had many poems written about it.

Chops, This is hilarious. Irony can make for some clever poetry. Maybe you should try some tongue in cheek humor.

Hi Synthetic I have to say this :

You are either writing free verse, or rhyme.
If you are writing free verse,
I canít help you.

If you are writing rhyme,
you got two chances.
You will get a structured expert,
or an art expert.

If you get a structured expert,
I canít help you.

If you get an art expert,
you got two chances.
You will get someone who knows what they are doing,
or you will get me.

If you get someone that knows what they are doing,
I canít help you.

If you get me,
you have two chances.
I will refer you to Turtle, or Ocean.


turtle
chopsticks
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6 posted 02-04-2009 08:26 AM       View Profile for chopsticks   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chopsticks

Thank you Turtle, but only an expert could take a nothing and make it a something.

You took my rambling and made it into something pleasant to the eye

I wonít to make this very clear, Iím talking about Turtle
turtle
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7 posted 02-04-2009 01:26 PM       View Profile for turtle   Email turtle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for turtle

Chops,

These are your words verbatim. I just happened to see the poetry in your words.

Even as a first draft, this is better than most of the free verse I see on these blogs.

Don't sell yourself short.
You've probably been writing good poetry for years.

Turtle
chopsticks
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8 posted 02-05-2009 09:28 AM       View Profile for chopsticks   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chopsticks

Turtle, Balladeer is my favorite poet , I just read ~ Honky tonk piano man ~and that sent him way over the top , but you made the cut.

When I have read enough of your stuff ....
Sunshine
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9 posted 02-05-2009 11:26 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

I know this is critical analysis and I should give some critique...but I can't. I simply enjoyed the immersion you provided as well as googling Minot's Ledge Lighthouse for further insight.

Simply wonderful!
turtle
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10 posted 02-05-2009 03:56 PM       View Profile for turtle   Email turtle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for turtle

Thanks sunshine, regardless of the poem. I too think this is a great story.  

Chops? What are you trying to do to me here? :laugh:

I am not in competion with balladeer. I too think he is a very talented writer. I'm sure his skills and his contribution to this web site far out weigh mine and probably always will. I do have some background in teaching though and can only hope that I may also have something to contribute.

turtle  

[This message has been edited by turtle (02-06-2009 05:44 PM).]

Balladeer
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11 posted 02-05-2009 04:06 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Thank  you, chopstick! You selected on of my favorite poems to mention. I appreciate it..

Turtle, you are right. No one is in competition here. We all have thing to contribute in our own way and you have shown, in a short time, that your contributions, in your poetry and also in your comments and help offerings to others, will make you a valuable asset to the site.

The vilanelle has always been one of my favorite forms and you have done it justice here in a big way...hearty congrats!
chopsticks
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12 posted 02-05-2009 05:13 PM       View Profile for chopsticks   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chopsticks

Turtle, I wasnít trying to do anything and I apologies . I may have been touting  the poem I had just read

~ Honky tonk piano man ~
turtle
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13 posted 02-06-2009 12:53 PM       View Profile for turtle   Email turtle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for turtle

Thank you Balladeer.

Chops, no apologies needed. I just couldn't figure out what you were up to, or if there was a point you were making that I didn't understand.

turtle
Brad
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Jejudo, South Korea


14 posted 02-07-2009 02:04 AM       View Profile for Brad   Email Brad   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brad

First, like the rest, I enjoyed this--though it does have an archaic feel, doesn't it?

Second, I don't understand the first comma here:

quote:
That's brightly, pulsing One, Four, Three.

turtle
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since 01-23-2009
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15 posted 02-07-2009 12:07 PM       View Profile for turtle   Email turtle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for turtle

Hi Brad,

You are absolutly right, I'll have to fix that. Thank you

I screw up like anybody else. That's why I prefer to post in a critiquing forum.
,
This does have an archaic feel to it that is meant to reflect the era it was built.

"The last stone was laid at Minot's Ledge on June 29, 1860,"

turtle  
chopsticks
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16 posted 02-07-2009 12:39 PM       View Profile for chopsticks   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chopsticks

Great find by Brad. After I knew there was maybe something wrong with the comma  I didnĎt figure it  out. I had to ask my sister, the one with the pale legs.  what was wrong and she said , pulsing is a verb.

Was that  it ?

Btw, Turtle your last post on my last poem was outstanding and  very informative, thanks.
turtle
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17 posted 02-07-2009 03:34 PM       View Profile for turtle   Email turtle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for turtle

Yep. Originally the line read:

Pulsing, pulsing one, four, three

meant to reflect a heart beat, but my girlfriend thought it was too erotic and detracted from the rest of the poem. In my consternation and rush to repair, I changed the word, but forgot the punctuation. Good catch, I'm glad you guys spotted it.

turtle
 
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