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Critical Analysis #2
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The Procession of Moonbeam & Bard - a limerick
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The Procession of Moonbeam & Bard - a limerick |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Here's a limerick that I hope will bring a smile to both of you  Sincerely, Mark.At the wedding of Moonbeam and Bard, (An affair of pristine avant-garde) One was solemn as Druze And one wobbling as flews, Yet they haply would live no-holds-barred. |
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| © Copyright 2008 Marc-Andre Germain - All Rights Reserved | |||
moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Charming. I can picture the scene. But I'll only do it if he pays for hand painted silk crepe de chine - and I know he can coz he has a biggg car, bigger than Ron's in fact. Still, L2 stumbled as badly as the bridegroom (I get to be the solemn one because the flews simile is quite revolting). And jury out on "haply" - normal usage "by chance or luck", but I suspect you were going for the much rarer "happily"? |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Step gingerly here guys. That "discussion" taking place in The Alley will not be acceptable here. This forum is for poetry and the discussion thereof. And poetry that takes cheap shots at other members is not allowed by the guidelines. Let's keep it nice here. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
It's ok Pete, I, for one, am cool with this, and I suspect (hope) Bard would be too. Thanks for the concern though, and Merry Christmas. |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
It’s ok by me too Pete. It reminds me of the time I was waiting to take off at the Charlotte NC airport when the tower said, there will be another thirty minutes wait for take off and somebody said SUGAR into an open mike. The tower angrily ask, who said that ? Then all fifteen planes in line for take off responded like so : Delta flight 101 negative on that SUGAR. Piedmont flight 22 negative on that SUGAR. Eastern flight 70 negative on that SUGAR. And so on down the line. Btw Mark, I am smiling too. Merry Christmas |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
It is in the belief that all had enough of a sense of humour that I have posted this. Glad to know you're ok with it, Moonbeam, for it was written in good humour, really. Line 2 works well for those who pronounce "pristine" and "avant-garde" on the last syllable, there are a few of us in North America. Otherwise, it would stumble badly indeed. Alternative standard pronunciations are something to keep in mind when scanning a text, I've seen that with the world "bailor" elsewhere. Granted, it's easier said then done. But I like to assume that one who devotes his time to writing poems and post them here are doing more than whimsically put words together. As for the word "haply," it was intended, a little word play of some sort. I like to post when I risk such, and get feedback. It tells me whether the reader finds meaning and/or enjoyment in it too. Ultimately, the poem is enjoyed by the reader, it is a communication tool. As to who's solemn and who wobbles as flews, I leave that up to you. I am working on similes and metaphors lately, perhaps we should dedicate a thread to them. And while we're at it, perhaps we should have a limerick thread for outdared fun...(with an agreement to keep it there, and not to take it personally, of course.) Chopsticks, why don't you and I try to turn that wonderful airport moment into a limerick? Fellow poets, a merry Christmas to all, Mark |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
~grumbles~ geez, these darned Americans, the Mayflower has a lot to answer for. I mean who ever heard of "pris TINE".  "Haply" - I thought I'd just check to make sure you knew what you were doing, although the truth is I've never been aware of the "happily" alternative until now. Thanks for that. M |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Sometimes, it does starts "haply" and ends "happily." My divorce was the happy ending |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Mark, I know the lines and scheme are right, so do your part. All the pilots sat there guessing Waiting for the tower’s blessing Hoping for a quick departure Like an arrow from a archer They were eager to go flying |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Nicely done, chopsticks. But what we've got here are TROchees, and limericks are written in anaPESTS: lines 1, 2 and 5 are trimeter and lines 3&4 are dimeter. Here's what I came up with: In conjecture the pilots had sat Until blessing the tower had spat; They were eager to fly E’en through storms on Altai To avoid all the brats and the blat. I think I will start a limerick thread. A merry Christmas to you Mark |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
similes? Metaphors? Perhaps this will interest you, Marc /pip/Forum22/HTML/000865.html |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Thanks Balladeer. I just read it, an it was time well-spent Mark |
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