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Passions in Poetry

My Future

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dfcwer
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since 12-07-2008
[First Post] 2


0 posted 12-07-2008 10:07 PM       View Profile for dfcwer   Email dfcwer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dfcwer

Like the winds of yesterdays memory
Will the frozen present be any different?
Light that is too bright in the gallery of memory
Reminds me of the great horror of the adopter

The hellish flames of my past and present
Will these flames too consume my future?
Pain horror and sadness that I have yet to give consent
i have little or no hope at all for this dark future

Yet my heart has yet to give in to misery
Is there a chance a part of me still remains?
Should I embrace this new found light or turn it away?
I ask my cold frozen heart or at least what remains

I look to the vast starry night sky in hopes for an answer
I choose and I must embrace this light of hope even if I don't have an answer


This is fictional, please review it im here to improve  

[This message has been edited by dfcwer (12-07-2008 11:58 PM).]

© Copyright 2008 dfcwer - All Rights Reserved
shades_of_green
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since 12-17-2008
Posts 8


1 posted 12-18-2008 12:38 PM       View Profile for shades_of_green   Email shades_of_green   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for shades_of_green

First of all, I think your imagery in the first stanza is brilliant! However, mechanically speaking, I think you should take another look at how the poem flows.
free soul
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since 01-09-2009
Posts 6
between the sky and earth


2 posted 01-09-2009 01:43 PM       View Profile for free soul   Email free soul   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for free soul

GREAT POEM..I FELT U HAVE WROTE EXACTLY ABOUT THE STATE OF MIND WHICH IM LIVING NW..SO NICE OF U..DO KEEP ON.
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