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Passions in Poetry

Second season

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moonbeam
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0 posted 10-31-2008 06:23 PM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for moonbeam

Second season

My darling Jane

I'm back at last where we began, alone in the stalls,
scribbling this between the dress-rehearsal Acts.
The air seems full of lines unspoken, cues
not taken; this the very seat: the damasked hump
of horsehair, an inlaid fingernail of ivory;
Row D, 17, the spot where, against the grain,
my clumsy knee rubbed loose your plait.  You turned

me; not gradually, but, in the fashion of theatre,
all life and love compressed to an instant.  
Perhaps this will not reach you
before we are here again.  But if it does, please replay
that carousel of knickers in the wind: my Disney pink
overstretched to over-peg your M&S thigh highs. Our giggles.  
Your mother's lips a perished elastic smile.

Remember father meeting you, greeting us with sherries,
his eyes bible red, the decanter stopper rattling
in the neck.  Recall the streets of stares, our knuckles
knotted till we broke; hotel foyers: walls mosaiced
with cameras, our voices tremolos, too high register.
At times like these I forgot my lines; then gathered
all those moments, and spoiled the opening night.

You see this headed paper?  I took the job!
And now I know the past need not be past.
The curtain's falling.  I have to go.  Jane, I've changed
everything: your room is peach, the Garfield
magnet's gone, the sink plug doesn't seep; I rarely
cry.  Tomorrow you'll settle in Row C.
This time I'll gently touch your braid.  You'll turn.

Your forever loving

Clare  

Ms C S Williams
Research Director
H G Wells Institute of Temporality
© Copyright 2008 moonbeam - All Rights Reserved
Brad
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since 08-20-99
Posts 5896
Jejudo, South Korea


1 posted 11-08-2008 06:31 PM       View Profile for Brad   Email Brad   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brad

Perhaps the most interesting thing that happened to me here is that while I was going to nitpick I imagined, just for a moment, that the writer was someone I did not know, I had not read before.

At that moment, a voice in my head said, "This is great!"

Let's leave it at that for the moment.
oceanvu2
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since 02-24-2007
Posts 1007
Santa Monica, California, USA


2 posted 11-08-2008 07:33 PM       View Profile for oceanvu2   Email oceanvu2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for oceanvu2

Let's leave it at that, period.  M -- I don't know why you bother with PiP, but I'm certainly glad you do.  Like Brad, perhaps, I don't comment on emotionally engaging, well wrought work.  Too presumptuous.  I will say, though, the simplicity/complexity balance is grand.  How wonderful to have one's own voice.

Speechless-in-Gaza, Jimbeaux
moonbeam
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3 posted 11-10-2008 12:52 PM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Thanks Brad and Jim.  

Going through a lean period right now, so it's nice to hear something nice.  I bother with PiP Jim, because once upon a time there might have been a clueless but enthusiastic writer who might have wandered into the place and bumped into a gin sipping lecturer from Korea plus assorted other inspirational characters.   And, you never know, it might happen again.

And while waiting for Godot, there's always the Alley.

M
Brad
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since 08-20-99
Posts 5896
Jejudo, South Korea


4 posted 11-18-2008 06:08 PM       View Profile for Brad   Email Brad   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brad

I wanted to keep this at the top for a few days more. I've often suggested dramatic narrative poetry to many writers, but this letter form is another great example of stealing/not stealing from--who?--Browning.
moonbeam
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5 posted 11-20-2008 11:42 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

yes Brad ... or Cohen:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/jul/01/poetryworkshop.poetry

.....

Sorry not been back on your poem yet.  I got waylaid by a passing virus.
viking_metal
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since 02-02-2007
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.


6 posted 01-05-2009 02:03 AM       View Profile for viking_metal   Email viking_metal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for viking_metal

Bible red may be the most accurate color description I've ever heard.  I'm sorry I have nothing more to offer you, but I sincerely enjoyed this poem. The way you gently forced me to experience that moment of your knee brushing... wonderful.

-P

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

 
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