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Critical Analysis #2
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The peasant king
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The peasant king |
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HaydenMuhs New Member
since 2008-09-15
Posts 4 |
A Great King once drew his mind and sheathed his eyes forever- striding down cobblestone steps to the base of his kingdom- passing matrons and maidens, scholars and knights... He donned a set of gold hair - no crown, and lead the town with a hawk in his eyes- walking dreadfully, like a risen corpse so ripe of death- bobbing his head with each greet to ground... Rhythmically, mesmerizing he was; they all watched- their King he was. Swifter now in useless haste- passing vendors and merchants, mages and jesters... The Great King shook a crude dagger in his hand, swinging- violently at God. Raining (now) on his royal mask- crying to the world so vast, so clear he saw it all at last... He fell near the gates, to his knees, hobble he was- hysterically unwell. They all Gathered. I gathered- the mothers and nuns, the children and elders... His head hadn't moved, until the bolts of the skies startled- this unmovable King. I saw Grimness shelf his lifeless head- his dagger through his own left breast, as he lie in a crimson mess... The dogs barked. The horses neighed. The heavens cried- and cried we joined them. "Why!? Great King... Why?" I asked- His lips stumbled, eyes wandering to the sky and stone; "Be- cause..." |
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| © Copyright 2008 HaydenMuhs - All Rights Reserved | |||
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HaydenMuhs New Member
since 2008-09-15
Posts 4 |
I posted in the wrong place didn't I? This is a poem I wrote... oh well, comments are appreciated/critiques |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well, welcome to Passions, and I enjoyed your first offering. I am sure one of the moderators can move this to the right location for you. Enjoy your time here, and spend some time reading others poetry, and looking down the many corridors of this site, you will be pleasantly surprised. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I can move it for you if this is the wrong place. Where would you like it to be? Pete |
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HaydenMuhs New Member
since 2008-09-15
Posts 4 |
uhm.. i'm not sure. It can stay here as long as it is appropriate, I just didn't want to mess anything up by posting in the wrong thread. |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Hayden, why the ellipses and hyphens in every stanza ? If you tell us why, maybe someone will tell you why not. |
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