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Critical Analysis #2
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ronald might
Junior Member
since 2008-06-05
Posts 19


0 posted 2008-06-13 01:15 PM



We learnt of truth,
yet our hearts seek to be fooled.
less i swaddle in grieve,
i'll have you with me.
Fist sized thick crimson red
veins only to hold such fruitless passions!
Even thoughts and time couldnt escape your bloody arrest!
A truthful tale of tragedy i must say.
Whence he came,
light has never been this faint.
But i've you with me,
my fist sized thick crimson red!
Without you, time wouldnt have his justice
only to tick and never have his peace.
Oh thank you my crimson red!
For faint light fooled judgement
you brought aspiration
Hope
Whence he came
light has never been this faint
oh you
my crimson red

© Copyright 2008 ronald might - All Rights Reserved
chopsticks
Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888
The US,
1 posted 2008-06-14 08:01 AM


Who knows, but I’ll bet the University of Alabama would love this poem .


ronald might
Junior Member
since 2008-06-05
Posts 19

2 posted 2008-06-14 09:52 AM


haha..i'm not entirely sure about them lovin' it..

but just a little worried about sarcasium in the body? im afraid readers might find this to be a satire instead of my intend, an angry soul tired of hoping for the better.

how bout the title? my brother finds the use of crimson to decribe heart to be cliche! but i like it..do you think there is an alternative?

stranger passing by,

ronald might
Junior Member
since 2008-06-05
Posts 19

3 posted 2008-06-16 09:52 AM


help for the title? anyone?!
Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
4 posted 2008-11-06 05:34 PM


My first guess is that you need to go back and rewrite the specifics down first. Your problems with the title are probably the result that you haven't written down what you're really writing about, you're writing around it. The next step with then be metaphor.

Things tend to clear up when you start that way.

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